AMBERCON 2010 Quotes

"Agents of the Argent Rose: 'City of Ghosts'" by R.F. McCaughey

France. The year is 1923. An age of wonder and contentment has come upon the world. The modern vision of great bards like Jules Verne has begun to see realization. The world hub for artistry, genius, and innovation is the banks of the river Seine. Paris.

You have been asked to oversee the journey home of the Chin Emperor's daughter as she returns the embassy to China. Private orders, insure that Stigmatist radicals do not interfere with this event and thereby breach a long-standing alliance between China and France.

But along the way there is a new mission from a Family Ghost!

Your mission, keep the peace and support the Great Republic. The Argent Alliance, the honor of your family and innocent lives may hang in the balance.

Cast of Characters

"The princess' needs were not being met, so they sent for you guys." -- GM to the group

"He's not boring, he's French!" -- Lucien to the group

"I'm not trying to marry (William) off, I just want him to have sex with (the Chinese Princess)." -- Simone to the group

"Here's my price! I am a buyable woman!" -- Vivienne to the Dion siblings, via telegram

"Chloe's been to China, right?" -- William
"Probably. They have blow-up stuff there." -- Chloe

"I think (the Chinese Princess) has her heart set on William." -- Melisande
"Don't we all." -- Lucien

"Why not take the Titanic? What could go wrong? It's unsinkable!" -- Seamus to the group

"The mission was to kill to you." -- GM
"Yes, well they missed." -- Vivienne

"You'll get tangled up with the handmaiden in the staircase, because her hands are tangled up in you." -- GM to William

"No one will explain to me what my duty is." -- Seamus
"Just lie on your back and think of France." -- Lucien

"Tesla thinks you look like an angel wreathed in cigarette smoke." -- GM to Chloe

"I know, (William's) just a sexist, it's obvious by how little sex he has." -- Simone to Melisande

"Pattern and Faerie don't mix." -- Kris Fazzari to the group

"How does one prepare oneself for a Zeppelin chase?" -- Seamus to Melisande
"Goggles." -- William

"My largest stat does not involve physicality. This is why you're tromping through the Bosnian countryside chasing a Zeppelin, and I'm on a cruise ship watching my lover make shadow puppets on the wall." -- Melisande to Seamus
"I just want to know what he's using to make the shadow puppets." -- Sol Foster to the group

"Carnivorous hats...bad idea." -- Lucien to the group

"What's the worst thing that happens? We plunge into the ground at 100 miles an hour." -- Seamus
"No...that's not the worst thing that happens." -- William

"I know how to do first aid, because a lot of my friends are crazy." -- Simone to the group

"We didn't screw up...except for the part where you got shot twice." -- Seamus to William

Unknown Slot 1 Game

"Doc, bend over and don't ask too many questions." -- Traveller
"I'm gonna have to ask some questions here!" -- Doc Holiday

"The Nano-Victorian Future: On the Wings of Angels" by Matt Andrews

In a world that has turned back from the brink of annihilation and the edge of the Singularity both, Queen Victoria rules the Empire of America. Europe is a transgenic nightmare, and top hats, spats and bustles are fashionable. In the thriving capitol city of Boston, murder and intrigue are afoot. The newsfeeds are buzzing with the arrest of one of Her Majesty's elite soldiers - the Seraphim - on a charge or murder! Is Boston about to be overrun with murderous angels? Or is this a ploy to discredit the crown?

Cast of Characters

"It's like me stepping on an ant. Why would they bother?" -- Lord Philip to ?

"In the meantime, his pocket watch takes a peanut." -- GM to ?

"I want to see these pants in action!" -- Madeline Ferwerda to ?

"Actually it was your impressive wingspan." -- Mycroft
"Beedibeedibeedi. If you know what he means." -- Botson

"Five points in being murdered?!" -- Sean McCabe to ?, complaining about his character being rich and a target

"The best things I have are Botson and my pants, and your pants are way better." Mycroft to Lord Philip

"I am second in pants. Except I'm in a dress." -- Dawn Vogel

"You are at the Shady Arms." -- GM
"Not PJ Sketchingtons?" -- Sean McCabe

"Hypno pants. I need to use that in a game one of these days. 'Stare deeply into my pants....'" -- GM to the group

"Sassy ankles of mystery. That should be the name of a band." -- GM to the group

"Oh, look. The clues are all in this box that says 'Clues.' Oh, wait, that says 'noses.' Terrible, terrible handwriting." -- GM to ?

"But I mean, could we synchronize our pants?" -- Jeremy Zimmerman to ?

With aliases like HolyRoller, GypsyHax0r5, and Bishop, how can we go wrong? Also, a robot named Botson." -- Dawn Vogel to ?

"The Queen Beneath the Waves (A Dashing Blades of Amber Adventure)" by Sol Foster

A Dashing Blades of Amber Adventure. The Queen of Rebma has requested the assistance of the Royal Blades with a delicate matter.

Cast of Characters

"We have names?" -- Hotspur
"You have many, Hotspur." -- Kate
"Not all of them nice." -- Raewyn

"Everybody loves (Hotspur)." -- Kit Kindred
"Especially himself." -- Kris Fazzari

"I follow (Hotspur)." -- Callie
"See, that's the kind of answer that will get you killed eventually." -- GM
"No, that will get you killed immediately." -- Kit Kindred

"OK, the next rule after 'Do not stare at the Queen's nipples' is 'If the Queen is not showing her nipples, do not ask her to reveal them to you.'" -- Anne Delekta to the group

"We're going to put Hotspur in a little shell bra too, right?" -- Raewyn to the group

"I have a pretty good eye for this sort of thing, so I can make a guess at everyone's shell size." -- Edward to GM

"I'm pretty sure there was a strong implication from Oberon that you are not to overthrow the government of Rebma." -- GM
"I'm pretty sure there was a strong implication from Oberon that he was married to Cymnea too." -- Hotspur

"We're not getting eaten (by the sharks) so it's all good!" -- Callie to Raewyn

"I think it's time to abandon shark." -- Callie to the group

"I dance the prettiest (Rebman) out of the way of the shark." -- Hotspur to GM

"The suspension on (the shark) sucks!" -- Callie to GM

"Never bring sharks to a sword fight." -- Anne Delekta to the group

"When Rebmans get knocked out, do they have little fish circling their heads?" -- Kit Kindred to GM

"(The tailor) had her measurements." -- Edward to the Blades
"Which means Hotspur may know who she is." -- Kit Kindred

"So, Fishtoven...." -- Hotspur
"He's quite good, actually." -- GM
"So, better than that name, then." -- Hotspur
"He's no Moshark, though." -- Bill Gulstad

"Half an hour is more than enough time to break Rebma." -- Bill Gulstad to the group

"Bribe, bribe, bribe, charming, charming, charming. Don't make me hurt someone." -- Hotspur to GM

"First, ten of you isn't nearly enough...." -- Hotspur to Benedict's Lancers

"So, you are the infamous Pirate Becka." -- Kate to her mom
"Says the person who only found out she existed half an hour ago." -- Kris Fazzari

"A Double Dozen Seas: The Farthest Ship From Home" by Kit Kindred

HMS Aurora is the finest ship in Amber's fleet. The exploits of her crew are legendary. Now, she is far from Amber, sailing a strange black sea. An enemy scout ship has been destroyed. Can the crew of HMS Aurora use to intelligence they have captured to further their mission before the enemy finds them?

Cast of Characters

"Can you send smoke signals with your clouds of death?" -- Captain Jack to ?

"He used a Trump and is gone. But not in the good way." -- GM to ?

"We can do it because we believe we can do it." -- Captain Jack
"In that case I've got a problem." -- Joe's character

"Do we have any sense...." -- Captain Jack
"No." -- Joe's character

"Am I to assume that I am being rescued?" -- Ambrose
"You're being joined." -- O'Donovan

"You guys are left behind, the forward operating base in Chaos." -- GM to ?

"If only Oberon had been more specific with his directions...." -- Ambrose to ?

"Major Hatreds and Petty Animosities" by Madeline Ferwerda

So I have a proposition to make, Random said, and it comes with a delicate sprig of gossip to sweeten the palate. It concerns our dear youngest sister, Florimel. Perhaps you've wondered what she has found to do in all those many years on that Shadow Earth of hers. Having spent some time there recently, I can tell you. She's teaching herself how to run spies and manipulate foreign policy. I propose that we help her out. Not in any obvious way, of course: no, we provide her challenges, we let her learn by facing the best.

But I like Flora, you say? Do you like her for what you want her to be, or for what she wants for herself? To treat her as a worthy opponent would be the truest form of respect.

But she isn't? Ah, but she has a significant home field advantage, with hundreds of years more experience in that place than any of us. It might even be too difficult to swing their politics in the brief time we'll be there.... Though perhaps it's nothing much for the future king of Amber.

But you have important things to do in Amber? Amber is damp and mildewy this time of year, and Shadow Earth is balmy and engaging. The time there runs much quicker. There will be luxury dining and cards every night. And besides, you all must have noticed that things are a bit strained here lately, and as our dear eldest brother Benedict has demonstrated, absence makes all hearts grow fonder.

You're in? Good. Here's the basic setup: there's a conference in a desert place called Cairo to determine how the spoils of a recent war will be governed. The winner of our exercise will determine Flora's interest in the outcome and see that their own interest carries instead. If Flora finds out any of us were involved, the leaker loses. There will be a nightly poker game in which to make amusing little allusions to each other as to our day's activities.

I'll give a more thorough briefing once we're on site, but to get you started: the current Amber equivalent on that Earth, a place called the United Kingdom, needs to set up a government in one of the places they've recently added to their empire, the "Mandate of Mesopotamia", sometimes called Iraq. The native peoples of the area recently fought a successful revolt and are feeling their oats. The other major power in the world, France, also wishes to have a hand in. The economy is booming, as are drinking, technology, and travel.

Cast of Characters

"I could just break your arms." - Gérard
"You could try haggling." - local arms dealer
"I'm an American. This is how we haggle." -- Gérard

"They have some interesting stuff. Check it out, a mummified cat. I mean, who mummifies cats?" - Gérard to ?

"I can't understand what it is about playing Bleys that makes me want to sell out Brand." -- Jeremy Zimmerman to the group

"Poker Face" by Mark MacKinnon

A new resource has been discovered in Amber. King Random has presented a unique opportunity to all Kingdoms of the Golden Circle, and has called forth delegates to negotiate their best offers. The winner will have a distinct advantage over the other kingdoms...but with high reward comes high risks.

Cast of Characters

"(Random) is showing that he's not full of himself by making everyone move to another room." -- Lee Bynum to the group

"Chaos needs a body...." -- Fiona
"Room service!" -- hotel staff

"Unfortunately, part of Chaos burned down because they left their iron plugged in when they disappeared." -- Anne Delekta to the group

"This is the first time that I've been to Mandor's bedroom." -- Random
"Methinks you doth protest too much." -- GM

"Well, what else can we get?" -- Donal to Gris, after being offered the kingdom of Chaos

"The Savage Skies of Amber" by James Arnoldi

It is the 150th anniversary of King Martin's reign and celebrations are taking place all over Amber. Airships fill the sky of Amber, bringing presents from kingdoms all over the Golden Circle and beyond. The largest gift, on the largest ship, comes from Chaos. Once an enemy of Amber, the Courts of Chaos and the Kingdom of Amber have been at peace for a millennium. Hopefully that peace will survive the night.

Cast of Characters

"I keep forgetting. 'Why walk? We have Trumps!'" -- GM imitating PCs

"There are a lot of tentacles in the Savage Skies of Amber." -- Dawn Vogel to the group

"And they're grrrrrrreat." -- Wade to ?, regarding the tiger people

"Cuz you want Logrus tentacles poking around in your pocket...." -- David McCreless to ?

"Do you need a queen?" -- Lisa, after Fate tells King Martin that she's used the Jewel

"It's got reach and...what is that game? POLO!" -- Fate to ?, while wielding a long ax from the back of a Pegasus

Unknown Slot 3 Game(s)

"Great Old Ones are friends, not food." -- Liz Wilson

"There will be two grahams coming through the Trump." -- Graham
"Two grams? I can carry that...." -- Tiberius

"Firefly: A World Without Sin" by Madeline Ferwerda

"...It's the Pax. ...The G-23 Paxilon hydrochlorate that we added to the air processors...." So there you were, visiting old Chaim Chow in the hospital, all tubes and wires runnin' and and out of him, and you both realized about the same time that the constant chatter of the Cortex wasn't just another ad. "Well, they've killed most of us. And not just killed...they've done things...." And then there was the screaming, as you stared in horror, and after too long someone cut the playback. And Chaim rewinds to the beginning, where there's the dried-up old corpses, and watches it a couple more times before it gets erased, and then he says, "That was my daughter.... Not that sha-gua lady in the wave, but my daughter Sarah was on Miranda.... And we fought, we fought about Unification and I heard she'd got herself killed in some rebellion, and I was so angry. Hand me a knife." And he started a tear in his hospital gown right over his chest. "A few years ago before grave-sweeping day I thought about going there, but there weren't any maps in the Cortex anymore, and I didn't find the one she sent me until just before I came here. And now I'm too old and sick! It's to you. You've got to go there. I'll give you all I have, just find her, and put her in the ground all proper, and burn some incense for her spirit."

Cast of Characters

"Now that we've had this fine homoerotic moment, can we get going?" -- Luis to the group, after a poking discussion

"Cap'n, can you come up to the cockpit please?" -- Lizzie
"Last I checked, I was locked out." -- Felix

"On the bright side, (the alliance) won't eat us." -- Luis to the group

"She comes to a decision: 'Gassing not democratic.'" -- GM to the players, describing the diary of a Miranda citizen

"I keep poking around at the bodies, hoping to get lucky." -- Marcus to GM

"We're going to be reavers. Let us in. Don't shoot us." -- Felix to Lizzie (on the ship)

"I don't think any reasonable person would be OK with (dressing as Reavers)." -- Joe Saul
"Ava is enjoying herself, actually." -- Dawn Vogel

"What are the odds of being three hours into a Firefly game and saying we've been honest with the Alliance, and it being true?" -- John Czarnota to the group

"In sewers, with real Reavers. Not fun." -- Felix to Lizzie

"Oh God, we haven't buried the body yet!" -- Luis to the group, discussing plans to leave

"Ill Met in Amber" by Kit Kindred

Things fall apart. The center can not hold. King Eric's reign continues to be troubled. Garnath is blackened and dark things walk there. The enemy is growing near.

Cast of Characters

"We can always clean up our mess next year." -- Bill Gulstad to the group

"I needed some alone time to do violent destructive things." -- Madeline to GM

"You killed your sister. You have to have a formal wedding." -- GM to Madeline

"The wedding goes about as well as any large event does in the Marvel universe." -- GM
"So, Galactus?" -- Sol
"You'd better pray Brand doesn't show up." -- GM

"I'm playing, of course, the lady with the most miles in the room." -- Juliana
"In every conceivable way." -- GM

"So we're going to bleed out Stormy?" -- GM to the group

"You don't have Trump." -- GM
"We've got Stormy's hand." -- Bill Gulstad
"You don't have Stormy's hand. You don't have his Pattern sword either." -- GM
"Stormy had a Pattern sword?" -- several players

"Listening to O'Donovan never goes unpunished." -- GM to the group

"Is Evie (the librarian) really stronger than Reggie?" -- Kris Fazzari
"Yes." -- GM
"Hey, (he's) a warfare guy, not a strength guy." -- Jeremy Zimmerman

"Amber is now lousy with fucking weir." -- GM to the group

"Every time Evie goes down, Brand is around." -- Bridgette Ruggles to the group

"Evie's not answering any more voices." -- Bridgette Ruggles to the group

"I think we should be very careful about how we report the news to avoid the part where we get executed for treason." -- Ambrose to Sean

"If you have any personal items belonging to our overdue librarian...." -- Eric to the group
"Yes, the fines are going to be atrocious." -- Evie

"After having seen time traveling Child-o-Juliana, I've decided that Juliana should never breed." -- Jeremy Zimmerman to the group

"Essentially, you're making an Evie shrine." -- GM
"You mean another one, right?" -- Sean

"Is O'Donovan a certified emergency lap-dance technician?" -- Jeremy Zimmerman to Sol Foster

"The servant will know?" -- Evie
"The Serpent, the Serpent!" -- GM
"Oh." -- Evie

"ShadowWorld Mainline" by Edwin Voskamp

ShadowWorld is a diceless roleplaying game based in our world, except that, under the facade of media, politics, political correctnes and 'reality' there is an Underworld where strange things happen: psionic powers, ancient secrets, dark conspiracies that are hidden from or dismissed by the general public. The players are psionically gifted operators of a secret organization sent on a mission. Though an ongoing world setting, it is an episodic campaign: new players are welcome.

CONTENT WARNING: ShadowWorld involves many adult themes, in particular, if you take (your) religion seriously, playing ShadowWorld likely is not for you.

Cast of Characters

"We followed my idea and we're not dead." -- Prester John
"Not yet." -- three other players

"Firefly: Grounded" by Kristen Schleick

OK, OK, my turn for a story. This'll be one you haven't heard before, because I just heard it from a guy who knew someone on the ship. Lemme tell you, it bears passin' on. You ever heard of Shuixing? Right, the hot one where they don't like tech. Backwards sorta place, hard to get to and not much reason to go, or so you'd think. Well, the ship - Kestrel was the name, if I remember right - they have a delivery to make to Shuixing. They're on the way there when they stumble on one of those big Alliance battleships. They ain't exactly haulin' medicine, so they start to panic, figuring whether they got time to go to blackout, just run, or give it up. But the Alliance ship, it doesn't do anything - no scans, no hails, nothin'. And when they ping it out of curiosity, there's no one there. A big old deserted boat in the middle of nowhere. Well, we wouldn't pass that up, would we? Heck no! Far too valuable, and such a shame to leave it out there all unguarded-like. So they board, and then....

Cast of Characters

"I haven't made any external modifications to the ship." -- Captain Tanner to ?
"But we do have a still!" - Sol Foster

"I always smell an ambush." -- Captain Tanner
"I think that's just your aftershave." -- Walker

"I also have to look at the paper every time she says 'The ship went down.'" -- Walker to ?

"I'm good at running. That's like sneaking, only faster and more obvious." -- Walker to ?

"She's made of penguin awesome." -- ?, describing the Mother Superior who wants the firefly crew to take on an Alliance Destroyer

"The Shepherd says there is a beating-up place in the afterlife." -- Thug to Captain Tanner

"The League of Quantum Gentlemen and the Terror of the Time Tunnel" by James Arnoldi and Dawn Vogel

You want me to tell you about my people? Where do I start? The Time Lords of Gallifrey were one of the most advanced cultures of the galaxy. We could control much of the structure of the universe. With the Web of Time, we controlled paradox and the travel between parallel universes. Such great power came with a cost. My people became aloof and detached from the rest of the universe. Others began to think of us as arrogant and pompous...and rightfully so. With a code of non-interference, we stayed in our ivory towers...until war came to our door.

Now there are a handful of Time Lords left. The universe has spent centuries without Time Lords monitoring the Vortex; leaving the barrier between dimensions weaker than ever. That is why you're needed. The Time Lords have the technology. They may not be willing to share it, but I'm sure they wouldn't mind if we borrow a few TARDISes and fix a few messes, right?

Cast of Characters

"Accessing database on Jack Harkness. Hmmm, death may solve this." *pushes over a tree on Jack's head* -- Dalek Caan

"It's like they were picking teams and I got picked last!" -- Rocky to ?

"But taking (the Cylons) out on dates doesn't seem like a good plan." -- Rocky to ?

"Can we drop these guys in the Rift?" -- Rob Haight
"We're not in Cardiff anymore." -- GM

"When you're with them you pick up the language. That's why we all sound British." -- Kismit explaining to Predator why they can speak his language

"It's the best in hunting gear my planet has to offer." -- Predator
"Three dots?" -- Rocky

"We could put one TARDIS in the other." -- Jenny
"NO!" -- everyone else

"Captain Jack is having special time with a face hugger." -- GM to the group

"Khaaaaaaaaaan!" -- Dalek Caan to ?, upon finding out that the villain is Khan Noonian Singh

"Don't lose the TARDIS!" -- Spock and Marty (in unison) to the Doctor

"You must be kidding!" -- Marty, after realizing that Khan probably has an Alien queen
"Yes. Ha ha ha. No." -- Dalek Caan

"(Kirk's) gonna sleep with the (Alien) queen." -- Paul Deckert dejectedly to ?

"Where was Daniel during the Star Trek Experience?" -- GM
"Egypt. Watching his parents die." -- Cyrano Jones

"I'm going to go around in circles, cuz I don't know how to get off." -- Rocky to ? while riding the Alien queen like a horse

"The Tomorrow Institute" by Jeremy "Bolthy" Zimmerman

In recent memory, the turning of the century has ushered in men and women who embodied and shaped the age they lived in. The dawning of the 20th century ushered in an age of mystery men and masked avengers, setting the stage for the modern day titans that travel the world. As the 20th century ended, old heroes faded away to be replaced with a new generation of heroes born at the cusp of the 21st century. These children represent not just the spirits of the new century, but of the new millennium as well. An organization known as the Tomorrow Institute has brought these children together to nurture and train them.

Cast of Characters

"Note to self: steal some of Parker's urine." -- Eugene

"Don't you touch it. It's not your Schwinn. It's my Doombot!" -- Eugene to ?

"So you slow your fall by hitting the ground?" -- GM
"Yes." -- JJ

"I tap into the security camera." -- JJ
"I don't think coax is cross-dimensional." -- Eugene

"Because there's nothing cooler than a would-be dictator on a Segway." -- Eugene

""When the Queen Says, 'Go and Die,'...": The Royal Hunt" by Kit Kindred

The Musketeers are invited to an outing to the King’s hunting lodge at Fontainebleu. The formal activities will include sporting events, gambling, drinking, and a murder attempt or two....

Cast of Characters

"(Lupin) wields a leg of mutton with a certain je ne sais quoi." -- GM to the group

"Sylvan is simply amazing. Have you ever seen anyone parry with lace before?" -- GM to the group

"There's bright, and there's I-sold-my-naiveté-down-to-minus-100." -- GM describing Sylvan

"All new characters are named Antoine." -- GM to the group

"Security will need to be provided." -- Captain Treville
"And you desire the Musketeers to provide it?" -- Armande
"Desire is perhaps too strong a word." -- Kris Fazzari

"They want us to be subtle." -- Armande
*laughter from Marcel*
"Hey, I have to bring it up. I know it's not going to happen." -- Armande

"This is why people sign up for my game. I bring meat snacks. They love the size of my sausage." -- GM to the group

"Pretty much anybody who's anybody is here. That's why most of the players aren't." -- GM to the group

"I can role-play Dworkin with his insanity but I just can't reach Murray's (portrayal of Damien)." -- GM to the group

"It's a fine line...like (Marcel's) mustache." -- J.P. Brannan to the group

"Why are you here?" -- Cardinal's Guard
"Well, my parents...." -- Lupin
"Why are the Musketeers here?" -- Cardinal's Guard, interrupting
"Well, there was food here." -- Lupin

"Do you know where we are?" -- Olaf
"Yeah, we're in the woods." -- Lupin
"Oh good, because I'm lost." -- Olaf

"I produce my club and seduce the snipe." -- Olaf to GM

"Your face does not get cut in half at this time. The snipe is very fast." -- GM to Olaf

"I just figured it out - those guys were impersonating snipe!" -- Lupin to the Musketeers

"I finally understand why everyone hates the Huguenots...they impersonate snipe!" -- Lupin to the Musketeers

"I feel certain that if the King is eaten by a giant predator, we will have failed in our mission to protect him." -- Sylvan to the Musketeers

"Wear lace on a hunt? That's just ridiculous." -- Sylvan, resident lace aficionado, to the Musketeers

"You've already accomplished the most important task of any leader...figuring out who to blame if things go wrong." -- Marcel to Armande

"They're not riding off together by themselves." -- GM to the group

"I have to tell you, nothing we kill will be by accident." -- Armande to the group

"You have all kinds of experience in getting taken down by hounds." -- GM to Charles

"Hey Charles, there's a boar." -- GM
"A French nobleman?" -- Michael Kucharski

"Lupin will rush to protect the wine tent." -- Bill Gulstad to GM

"And then you realize, Lupin, that (the birds) have breasts...and not the kind you find on chicken." -- GM

Various wines used during this adventure:

• Riding wine
• Fighting wine
• Guarding wine
• Guest wine
• Restricted drinking wine
• Victory wine

"Boogie Black Ops Magical Girls Omega" by Jeremy "Bolthy" Zimmerman

Just under the banal and superficial skin of the "real world," a realm of dream and magic exists. The products of the collective subconscious congeal and give birth to the heroes and villains that live just out of sight. Once this "Otherworld" was the realm of gods and heroes. Now it is the world of pop culture relics that do not fit in the real world. In Japan, this Otherworld is filled with giant monsters, armored combat suits, underground fighting arenas where fireballs and sonic booms are hurled at one another, secret schools existing on top of a rift in reality and, most importantly, magical girls. In order to better police this realm, the Japanese government has drafted teams of magical girls to fight back the darker elements of these realms. Do you have what it takes to join the elite ranks of teenage girls in cute costumes and signature attacks? Then join now!

Cast of Characters

"Ifrita is prettier than me, because she has boobs!" -- Cyrano Jones

"I don't drink...beer." -- Cyrano Jones, pretending to be Guinevere the vampire

"We're an hour in and my face already hurts from laughing." -- David Vandenabeele to the group

"My uncles say I should shake my moneymaker." -- Nekokun (who is 8)

"Best. Concert. EVAR." -- Nekokun
"Yeah, how many have you been to? One." -- Ally

"...the cloak, caught in the breeze that you can't see...." -- GM to ?

"We're not tactical girls, we're magical girls." -- Cyrano Jones to ?

"What part of Black Ops don't you understand?" -- Takahasi-san
"I thought that was the uniform!" -- Guinevere

"Can someone draw another vampire on my hand. I need two." -- Guinevere to ?

"So a 17-year-old and a 14-year-old are kicking their asses." -- Dana
"Hey!" -- Nekokun
"And an eight-year-old." -- Dana

"Tentacl...." -- Nekokun
"We don't like tentacles." -- Guinevere
"You have script immunity, you can like tentacles." -- David Vandenabeele

"In the Dark: Endings" by George Gitari

The last session of a fourteen year campaign.

Cast of Characters

"If my father kills you, I swear to avenge you." -- Jenna to her lover, after learning he's seeking her father's permission to marry her

"Where Angels Fear To Tread" by Mark MacKinnon and Jesse Scoble

Call them heroes or villains...call them super or meta or mutant...but gods walk the streets of New York, London, Toronto, and Tokyo tonight. The superheroes have become the new elite: divine kings and queens who stroll the red carpet and waltz through the night skies on wings of radiant steel and fiery plasma. And with that adoration comes arrogance and hubris. Will you stand strong or will you fall hard when the center comes undone? Together again for the first time this decade, come join Mark and Jesse in a thematic sequel to Twilight of the Superheroes (no experience or knowledge needed). A superheroic diceless game.

Cast of Characters

"Who does he thinks he is, the GM?" -- ?
"He's the Joker, he probably does think he's the GM." -- Joe Saul

"The Joker (has to) tell the truth when held by (Wonder Woman's) lasso." -- Captain America
"Trust me, we've both been married to her, we know." -- Superman

"It's the room for summoning Luthor...I mean Lucifer." -- Wonder Woman to the group

"Is your Joker drastically different from mine?" -- Superman
"That's not my Joker." -- Captain America

"As one of the most brilliant scientists in the room, I think we should summon the Devil." -- Iron Man to the group

"Joker, you can stop crying, we're going to summon the Devil for you." -- Captain America

"What of your love for Catwoman?" -- Metatron
"What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas." -- Batman

"Are you holding the cross in one hand, and the Joker in the other?" -- GM Jesse
"Weirdest Hindu god ever." -- Superman

"Whenever they do a new movie franchise, my life gets very weird." -- Superman to the group

"There is a color of Kryptonite that gives (Superman) amnesia." -- Joe Saul
"Yeah, but he can't remember what it is." -- Matt Andrews

"I'm going to put (Wonder Woman) down. I'm not trying to annoy her." -- Spider-Man to GMs
"She's dead, so that would be really hard, even for you." -- Catwoman

"HULK HATE PERSONAL PRONOUNS!" -- The Hulk to the group

"Bruce Banner needs to talk to Superman about managing his anger." -- Iron Man to the group

"Bruce, man, I want you to know, I always thought the pants were pretty cool." -- Superman
"I never laughed at your underpants on the outside." -- Hulk

"Changing Hands" by R.F. McCaughey

The PatternFall war lasts an excess of five years in Amber, or ten to thirty years out in shadow. Likewise it is seven years before a King again sits the throne of Amber, or fourteen to forty more shadow years. Out there in Shadow over this span of some seven decades, there are countries and lands living generations under the upheaval of the Black War.

Assume the Chaosians took a lot of territory in their ebon-threaded march to Kolvir. So now get "handed back" a Shadow on the Amber side of Ygg that has been two or three generations under the odd and eerie control of Chaos.

So there are these two or three Shadows that need to be brought back into the fold of Order. Have the Chaosi left 'surprises' for the royals? Do the people welcome back liberators who vanished decades ago? What has the taint of Chaos left behind in the blood of the people? In the power of the Land? Were there rebels? What justice for local collaborators? Are there half-blood Chaosi to be reckoned with?

Random can only hope to send a few royals to find out.

Now.

Cast of Characters

"(Vialle) was in the ambassador's dungeon. You were not." -- GM to Vintar

"(Martin's) got a bad case of 'God Benedict is so awesome' and 'Dad, you suck.'" -- Gérard to Avia

"Everything's fine...except for the plot to kill me." -- Kaiser to Reese and Bess

"I'm sorry, that was rude." -- Avia to the guests, after punching her hand through someone's throat

"What have you brought to the gunfight?" -- GM
"A head." -- Avia

"These horses are sentient." -- GM
"This is not a concept that I'm unfamiliar with." -- Juliana

"Julian probably has a horse ballad, but I don't want to hear that." -- Reese
"Nay." -- Juliana

"DSRD: Plausible Deniability" by Jack Schleick

If you happen to be clever, or foolish, enough to look closely at the World around you, you may notice, much to your dismay, that there are in fact two Worlds; one that 'Is' and one that 'Is Not'. The one that 'Is' is dull and boring, full of facts and figures, tedium and despair, a World which we are taught to except as reality. However the one that 'Is Not' is filled with the strange, the wondrous, the magical, the monstrous, and the freakish.

You are part of that World...the "Is Not's". As a member of the Department of Supernatural Research and Defense (DSRD), it is your job to make sure that the World that 'Is' continues and the people in it are safe and secure, by protecting it from, for lack of a better term, 'things like you'.

Cast of Characters

"I can't get killed, I'm Benjamin Franklin." -- Joe Saul to ?

"Vampire Benjamin Franklin just flipped off a NYC cab driver. He gets archaic when he's angry. 'Dost thou not see the light?'" -- ?

"They're speaking Old Norse with a New York accent." -- GM to ?

"Firefly: No Colors for You to See" by Dawn Vogel

Life in the 'verse is never easy, and it's a little bit harder when you've got someone after you. The worst part is not even knowing what you did to get into this predicament! But whoever is after you means business, and that makes your latest job a little more difficult. It also means the crew of the Prosperity might be in for some un-prosperous times....

Cast of Characters

"I have him draw the map of the prison on my back." -- Jessie to GM

"You're missing some awesome detecting." -- James Arnoldi, GM of Dreaming City
"Yeah, well, my game's got Reaver Porn." -- GM

"Reaver porn--two words I never needed put together." -- Liz Trumitch to the group

"Jesse meets the redneck with a shotgun and declares, 'I want to be like you when I grow up.'" -- ?

"We could hire him. He hates it here. He could do our laundry." -- Jessie to ?

"Knock him up, tie him out...wait, that's the Reaver porn." -- Captain Mo Cody to ?

"If we're just going to shoot 'em, we don't have to open the doors." -- Raj
"No, not the prisoners." -- Jessie

"Jessie, you're an important part of this plan." -- Captain Mo Cody
"You're going to have to take off your shirt." -- Raj

"Plus One" by Mark MacKinnon

King Merlin and Chaos has launched a full scale attack against Amber. Your royal parent -- a Prince or Princess of Amber -- has kept you away from the Family for many years, but at King Random's urging you are assigned an important task that could turn the tide of battle. You and six of your royal cousins (whom you have never met) are to meet at Ygg to enact your plan. But why do eight cousins show up?

Cast of Characters

"I use skill set number one with eyeball mark 2." -- Chance to ?

"You are survivors on the battlefield. The seven-year-olds you faced were no match for you. -- GM

"I'm ready for anything. I didn't anticipate it...." -- GM to ?

"Redcaps and Riots in the Dreaming City" by James Arnoldi

From the case files of Lazarus Jones, private eye:

Two swing doors closed off the head of the stairs from whatever was beyond. I pushed them open with my thumbs and went in to the room. It was a long narrow room, not very clean, not very bright, not very cheerful. In the corner, a group of Boggan chanted and chattered in the cone of light over a crap table. There was a bar against the right hand wall. The rest of the room was mostly small round tables. There were a few customers, mostly Boggan.

A large thick-necked Troll was leaning against the end of the bar with pink garters on his shirt sleeves and pink and white suspenders crossing his broad back. He had bouncer written all over him. "No Humans allowed, brother."

Someone was murdering redcaps all around the city of Murias. The police had been ignoring the case. Who cared about a few dead Boggans? I was the only one stupid enough to take the case, but I couldn't get anyone to talk to me. If I was going to solve this case, I was going to need help.

Cast of Characters

"It's so much better kissing (an angel) in front of a fountain than effing a guy in a piss-stained mattress." -- Gwen to ?

"Giving him a proper burial may not help him move on, but it'll at least get the body out of the street." -- Tristan to ?

"Can't really take Diego off the reservation, cuz he was never really on it." -- David Vandenabeele to ?

"Sleepers" by Matt Andrews

Sleepers is a game of action, paranoia and existential crises. Sleepers are superspies and secret agents in deep cover, remaining hidden for years at a time, building lives and relationships on a foundation of lies and deceit. Players are the best of the best, and the strangest of the strange in the world of international espionage. When you're lying to everyone, who can you trust? Can you even trust yourself?

Cast of Characters

"I want someone to tweet a tuba-full of weapons." -- Sean McCabe to ?

"I valet-parked my spy car?!!?!?" -- Sean McCabe to GM

"Aurellis - Sunday Evening" by Tim Hart

This is one of several independant Aurellis game slots - players may try to sign up for as many as they wish.

Starting out in a world very similar to ours, this game has evolved as the characters have discovered a multitude of other worlds, and powerful beings that consider themselves superior to the locals.

Now, the Special Operations Section, somewhat losely associated with the FBI, is the last great hope for Earth, keeping the world safe from others, keeping the people of Earth safe from the truth, and increasingly keeping themselves nicely supplied with the booty and loot which seems to naturally occur when dealing with mega powerful interdimensional criminals and enemies - I mean - we can't hand it in, can we? We'd have to explain where it came from then....

Cast of Characters

"It's the iTrump." -- Anne Delekta and Lee Bynum to the group

"I use my Catholicism." -- Nina discussing espionage with ?

"The feet chopping was not part of my plan. I wish I had thought of it." -- Tommy to ?

"The feet have crawled under a chair." -- GM
"That ain't right." -- Damien

"Do I want to be here?" -- Tommy, looking at Matilda's "instruments" while getting ready to torture the shapeshifting hacker

"Jorge, it's in German." -- GM, after Jorge produces a search warrant
"Bollocks!" -- Jorge

"What does Walter Scott's cravat do?" -- Steph
"Inspires unquestioning loyalty in Scotsmen." -- Leela Mae

"Did you just say Eric Estrada's chest hair?!" -- Damien to ?

"Wait, is (Dr. Doom) real?" -- Damien
"We don't know...yet...." -- Jorge

"You know I never, EVER, pay." -- Jorge to ?

"Did you just bang Sugar?!" -- Damien to ?

"Why'd you do that to a Maserati?" -- Damien, after the car explodes
"I'm sorry." -- Jorge

"Heredity" by Simone Cooper

The glass and steel metropolis of Amber is the jewel of the civilized world. Hunger and poverty have been eradicated for all practical purposes. Almost all work is in entertainment or service, with a rare few interfacing with the city's computers and a few others doing actual repairs when something happens that is beyond the ability of the maintenance bots. Arts thrive under the patronage of the super-rich; research is AI assisted, as is traffic control, housing, and the distribution of necessities. Genetic diseases have been eradicated, and tests at conception and at puberty ensure no new variants escape into the population.

Like everyone else, you had your test on that solemn day back in school. You spent your week at the outdoor camp, learning environmental sciences while everyone really knew they were waiting for someone to come up positive. Nobody did, of course. Nobody had in three generations. That was years ago.

Today, the site of your injection, that strange scar that everyone has, felt...strange to you. Now, everything has changed.

Cast of Characters

"The twitter feed of your mind is entertaining. -- Cliff to ?

"These totally look like elf boobs from the game." -- Penny to ?

"I'm just waiting for the boss monster to show up." -- Penny to ?

"I kiss her, because this conversation is not going to get any better. - Alonzo to ?

"Stupid vision I can't see. Lamest Vision Ever!" -- Penny to ?

"I go and get a giant Pattern squeegee." -- Alonzo to GM

"Warning: Removing power from Pattern will reset universe." -- sign over Pattern On/Off switch

"Randy and G-Man's Excellent Adventure" by Sean McCabe

Dude you have a totally impossible History paper due and if you don't ace it you are totally gonna fail! That means getting grounded for like ever!
But there is still some totally awesome hope in the form of a creepy dude. That weird janitor guy? He says he can help.
He has this magic thingy, like a doohickey. He says it'll let us travel in time! Who better to help with our history project than actual Dudes from history?
It's totally fool proof, what could go wrong?

Cast of Characters

"I'm going to summon a chariot of bees man, to carry me up to heaven." -- G-Man to the group

"We haven't even started the game and you've already broken the GM." -- GM
"Victory!" -- Liz Wilson

"Getting kicked in the nuts by Gérard is an experience to remember." -- Randy to the group

"Dude where's my brain?" -- GM
"That's what you run the zombie year." -- Matt Andrews

"Janitor Dworkin is mopping the floor dressed in cut-off denim shorts, a wife beater, and purple Unicorn socks. And a tie, because that's part of the school dress code." -- GM to the group

"We might need to microwave it, or give it to Brand, or both. Let's just microwave Brand." -- G-Man to Randy and Dee

"Dude, that is totally not germane to the current conversation." -- Randy to G-Man

"The part of history class where they taught you science fiction, that's the part you slept through?" -- GM to Randy

"We should totally take philosophy next year." -- Randy to G-Man
"Dude, where's my Socrates?" -- GM

"Have you seen my sword, Dude?" -- G-Man
"Dude, everyone can see your sword." -- Randy

"I guess if it's a history game it would be homererotic." -- GM to the group

"Repants!" -- Brand
"They're no longer wearing their pants. How does that work?" -- GM
"Awkwardly." -- Brand

"You're not stronger than Sid Vicious, and you're an Amberite...and he's a drug addict." -- GM to Brand

"Stop breaking the fourth wall!" -- GM to the group

"I pants Johnny Depp and now I am satisfied." -- Brand to GM

"Gérard applies his massive psyche to figure this out." -- Madeline Ferwerda
"So we're all doomed." -- Kris Fazzari

"Everything smells like hideous, hideous nature." -- GM to Brand

"(Brand's) totally like the jolly, green giant, except he's the sad, green midget." -- G-Man to Randy and Dee, after Randy dresses Brand in clothing made of pot

"I would like to see someone try to bounce Gérard. Not as much as I would like to see him fight a saber-tooth tiger, but we've already done that." -- GM to the group

"I summon an enormous bee and ride it up to save Brand." -- G-Man
"Did he remember to specify that it won't sting (me) first?" -- Brand
"No." -- GM

"Dude, the next place we are going is the history period of aloe." -- G-Man to Brand, after pulling his face out of the fryalator

"You know, if we destroy history, then our class is a lot simpler." -- G-Man to Randy

"Are your parents archangels, because you have wings." -- G-Man to GM, trying out pick-up lines

"What was he going for?" -- G-Man
"I don't remember." -- Randy
"Oh, that's right." -- G-Man

"I don't think (power word) pants works on assless chaps, actually." -- GM to Brand

"That's what we should have signed up for. Sex Ed!" -- Randy
"They won't let you take it for the fifth time." -- GM

"You won't want to take Sex Ed once you learn who's teaching it." -- Brand
"Dworkin." -- GM

"If I get to Heaven and Gérard's there, I'm going home." -- GM to the group

"The vat of my heart is full of bees. Fryalator, oh fryalator, why must you burn?" -- Brand reciting his poetry to the group

"You land in horse manure." -- GM
"Oh shit!" -- Brand

"Dude, stop talking to the guy who isn't there, or we'll have to take you back to punch Sigmund Freud again." -- Randy to G-Man

"If only you had good stuff, they'd have hit each other, but instead you have two black eyes and a broken nose. Their fists shouldn't even all fit together like that." -- GM to Brand

"I think we should totally go to the Marvel Universe, so Gérard can fight the Hulk." -- Randy to the group

"Sometimes I would wake up and see your eyes were open." -- G-Man to Brand
"What?" -- Dee
"In class...where you sleep...at your own desk." -- G-Man

"Dude, did you conjure bees?" -- Randy
"No, I think (Brand's) learned how to conjure his own bees." -- G-Man

"Sorry, I shouldn't be giving you fashion advice." -- G-Man to Brand

"I just ran a man through with Brand's sword...it's the most action he'll ever see." -- G-Man to Randy and Dee

"Brand has still managed to stab himself...and he doesn't even have a sword." -- GM to the group

"I'm not going to have a horse sex scene." -- GM to the group

"I really wish there was less horse sex in my game. None of my other games have horse sex." -- GM to the group

"The grand unifying theory is that the universe is pissed at Brand." -- Matt Andrews to the group

"Let's get everyone in Austria high. Are we in Austria?" -- G-Man to the group

"Dude, there's this thing called a wheelchair, and it's like a chair, with wheels." -- G-Man to Abraham Lincoln

"What if Merlin is aging backward?" -- G-Man
"Dude, that idea is so ridiculous, no one would ever believe it." -- Randy

"You killed a dragon with your bad stuff, that's pretty impressive." -- GM to Brand

"I almost choked on my meat!" -- GM to the group

"You're writing down quotes during the quotes reading? It will never end!" -- GM to Kris Fazzari

"I'm going to try not to argue with myself during future sessions, because apparently that's hilarious." -- GM to the group

"There is no Madeline, only G-Man." -- Madeline Ferwerda to the group

"Rebma Confidential: The Big Deep" by Jeremy "Bolthy" Zimmerman

Her name was largely unpronounceable and she had the flat black eyes of a predator, and I loved her from the moment I saw her. She come into my office with a sob story about a deadbeat husband who got her knocked up and then ate all her fry. I'd heard it a dozen times before, but there was something about the way my sonar outlined her serrated incisors that warmed the cockles of my heart.

I tried to hold on to that image as I fell deeper into the pelagic abyss with her husband, beating each other to a bloody pulp as the water pressure escalated around us.

"What happens in Rebma stays in Rebma." -- ? to the group

Ambercon

Kris' home page | Kris' RPG page

  Hellriders have passed through here since February 18, 2011.

Done by Kris Fazzari.

Game descriptions taken from the Ambercon 2010 Game Book.

Quotes taken by myself, Matt Andrews, James Arnoldi, J.P. Brannan, Madeline Ferwerda, Sol Foster, Patrick Franklin, Rob Haight, Cyrano Jones, Andy Ransom, Irene Schwarting, Jesse Scoble, Liz Trumitch, Dawn Vogel, Liz Wilson and Jeremy Zimmerman.

Other web pages with quotes and/or commentary on Ambercon 2010 include:

Last modified on April 13, 2011 by Kris Fazzari.