AMBERCON 2009 Quotes

"Agents of the Argent Rose: 'City of the Dead'" by R.F. McCaughey

France. The year is 1923. An age of wonder and contentment has come upon the world. The modern vision of great bards like Jules Verne has begun to see realization. The world hub for artistry, genius, and innovation is the banks of the river Seine. Paris.

You have been asked to oversee the visit of the Emperor of China's daughter as she leads an embassy to Paris. Private orders, insure that Stigmatist radicals do not interfere with this event and thereby breach a long-standing alliance between China and France.

Oh, and last night your Grandmother was kidnapped...to Nepal! Your Grandpere Corwin is organizing a military mission to rescue her.

Your mission, keep the peace and support the Great Republic. The Argent Alliance, the honor of your family and innocent lives may hang in the balance.

Cast of Characters

"How fares the city after its recent despair?" -- Lucien's father to Lucien
"You mean the despair that happened when (Lucien) set half the city on fire?" -- Kris Fazzari
"That would be it, yes." -- GM

"(Corwin) has a mission that's secret and he wants someone to watch his back." -- GM
"Certainly, just let me finish commissioning this opera." -- William

"This is what I get for talking to family." -- Lucien
"This is why I try to avoid doing that whenever possible." -- Melisande

"I have an eyebrow conversation with William." -- Lucien to GM

"I finish putting (Chloe's) legs in the picnic basket." -- William to GM
*laughter*
"Well, you know what, we didn't bring along a bucket for body parts." -- William

"(Corwin's) got points in groping." -- Liz Trumitch to the group

"So you're arrested." -- GM
"If I'm lucky, maybe I can be deported." -- Vivienne

"Do you want me to pull you through to the Zoo, so you can tell the others?" -- William
"Are you crazy?" -- Melisande, who currently looks like a drowned rat after falling in the Seine

"You asked a man with a concussion for advice." -- William
"No, I asked you who could fight, not for advice!" -- Simone

"The Bold and Undaunted (A Dashing Blades of Amber Adventure)" by Sol Foster

A Dashing Blades of Amber Adventure. As Amber's encircling enemies grow ever closer, a friendly kingdom has fallen. Can our heroes infiltrate the captured capital and rescue the ambassador from Amber?

Cast of Characters

"I'd like to see the world. You clearly are of the world, so...." -- Raewyn explaining why she admires Kate

"I'm always looking for the next ex-Mrs. Hotspur." -- Hotspur to the group

"(Hotspur) was pardoned for heroics...no wait, I believe that was knighted." -- Kit Kindred to the group

"What do we have to trade? We have a servant!" -- Hotspur
"Yes! No!" -- Edward the servant

"Do we know any of the pirates on the ship?" -- Kate
"I've never met a pirate who hasn't died." -- Jeckie

"If we get most of them out, does that count?" -- Raewyn
"There's only two of them." -- Jeckie
"I meant most parts of them." -- Raewyn

"We were expecting way more guards than we were expecting." -- Jeckie to GM

"You find the mob is a little bit awkward to steer." -- GM to Hotspur

"The Replacements" by James Arnoldi and Jeremy Zimmerman

The League of Heroic People has saved the world more times than the world even knows. They are the greatest superhero team ever assembled. They are brave, honest, nobel, etc. etc. (You get idea.) Join the LHP and you will show the world that you've made it. You're not just some wannabe superhero, but a real threat to scum and supervillainy. Unfortunately, they never return your phone calls. Perhaps they aren't getting them? Well, you are in luck! The LHP is having an open try-out where superheroes from all over can come and show their stuff!

Cast of Characters

"Even if we're not hungry we're looking for you, because there's always room for Jello." -- Minuteman to Gelatine

"You were supposed to beat up the League. The League of Society People." -- Last Laugh
"No, the League of Society People goes to parties." -- Diva

"If you experience super-powers lasting more than four hours, please consult a physician." -- Minuteman to the group

"By Washington's wig, this guy's big!" -- Minuteman to the group, when faced with the giant guy

"Get Shao-Ji by Madeline Ferwerda

The Unification War wasn't one of those terribly shiny wars like they sing about, not even for those of you on the winning side.... But there was one death you can be proud you had a part of. You helped wipe Alliance Lieutenant Shao-Ji Huang off the ass of the 'verse. So you weren't best pleased at the Unification Day reunion when in the midst of another round of "So...Miranda.... Feng le" Chuy comes up and says, "Say, I saw that lieutenant you used to rant about all the time...Huang? What a houzi de pigu! Didn't you say he was dead?" No. Apparently he's mixed up in something criminal, hiding on New Melbourne.... And still breathing. So now you're taking a bit of time to look in on dear old Shao-Ji. If he knows it was you that helped his shuttle explode, well, the Alliance ain't big on own goals. If he doesn't.... Either way, saying goes, if you're going to do a job, do it right.

Cast of Characters

"I seem to have a problem with my engine. The kind where it exploded." -- Jimmy (NPC) after the PCs attacked his ship

"I want a mucous maker!" -- Darren to the group, regarding the weapons of the Hands of Blue

"And I'm not full of subtle." -- Darren to the group

"Shoot him, with extreme prejudice." -- Ki, talking about the big bad

"It was Cayce, with the lead pipe, in the loading dock." -- Kristen Schleick to the group, turning the killing of the Hands of Blue into Clue

"Ill Met in Amber" by Kit Kindred

King Eric's reign grows increasingly troubled. Dark things out of Shadow plague Amber and even the Land itself seems to Blacken...

Cast of Characters

"I have points in this stuff." -- Juliana to GM
"In underwear?" -- Kris Fazzari and Jeremy Zimmerman

"Remember, I run a smuggling business on the side. It's not so much a business as smuggling for me." -- Sean to Juliana

"You fell off of a mountain." -- Juliana
"Well, yes, but it wasn't permanent." -- Reggie

"I'm not sure that anyone who goes by the name 'The Dark Lady' will be convivial to visitors." -- Reggie to the group

"I find the idea of there being a social situation in the middle of the demon-blighted wood pretty Unicorn-damned unlikely." -- Reggie to Max

"Nothing says love like helping you kill your sister." -- GM to Madeline

"I'm not actually weak, I'm just really bad at warfare." -- Juliana to the group

"If there's one thing Reggie knows, it's wardrobe." -- Jeremy Zimmerman to the group

"What happened? Kindred melted all the PCs." -- Scott Whitney to the group

"Mom, Dad, I killed my twin sister, but it's OK, because she was evil." -- Madeline
"It's OK dear, I had to do the same to my sister when I was your age." -- Lorraine, Madeline's mother

"When the Queen Says, 'Go and Die...': The Queen's Gambit" by Kit Kindred

"You are surrounded by beauty, by intrigue, by danger, what more can a man want?" - Aramis

Paris is in flames! Her Majesty has been kidnapped! The Cardinal's Guards are to blame! The Musketeers will avenge the Queen! Will France endure?

Cast of Characters

"It's always a good idea to have a defrocked priest speaking for you." -- J.P. Brannan
"At a heresy trial?" -- Kris Fazzari

"These scars I have acquired were obtained in the service of a lady." -- Charles
"Yes, by breaking into her house." -- several players

"We'll have to have a lack of wits contest between Olaf and Lupin." -- ?
"That's called the game." -- Ray Laura

"What do you call it when a cross-dressing Musketeer uncross-dresses when pretending to cross-dress?" -- Kris Fazzari
"Confusing." -- Ben Fogt

"I'm just glad that I'm mostly the man in this (marriage), so that means that (my wife) gets to do the baby thing...right?" -- Sylvie to the group

"Musketeers don't get maternity leave." -- Lee Bynum to the group

"I swish! I can swish with the best of them!" -- Olaf
"No one swishes better than Sylvan." -- Marcel

"(Alexis) doesn't actually live in this house. This is a decoy house." -- Lupin to the group, after getting trapped in the decoy decoy wine cellar

"Do you have a wandering monster table for the wine cellar?" -- GM to Alexis

"Gentlemen...and Lupin." -- Will to Lupin and Olaf

"Sylvan has the best legs of all the Musketeers." -- Ray Laura to the group

"That's something that we never did in this game before." -- GM
"Take a bath?" -- Bill Gulstad
"When the Queen says, 'Go and Bathe.'" -- Linda Duncan

"Sourd took (Lupin and Olaf) to the 'best tailor in town.'" -- Will to Marcel, making air quotes
"Why do you keep doing that?" -- Olaf
"It's to add emphasis." -- Will

"You can't trust those foreigners." -- Olaf the Swede to the group

"We were on our way to look for the true culprits." -- Alexis
"I thought we were looking for the Queen?" -- Sylvan
"Those are the people who kidnapped the Queen." -- Alexis

"Yeah, we have to go through Spain to get to Poland. It will be fine." -- Charles to Lupin

"When I say storm, I mean sneak up and then burst in." -- Alexis to the group

"Why are you here?" -- Slyvan
"The Queen was kidnapped." -- The Man in Black
"By who?" -- Sylvan
"The kidnappers." -- The Man in Black

"All Roads Begin in Chaos" by David Miessler-Kubanek

The Patternfall War is over. The prisoners are rounded up; the dead have been gathered. Troops on both sides have been ferried across the looming Abyss to the Black Citadel that is the Courts of Chaos. Our father, King Oberon, is dead. His funeral procession marches beyond to a realm where none reign. Brand and Deirdre have fallen-lost to the Abyss. Random was chosen by the Unicorn of Amber to succeed the throne and rule in the memory of Amber, if not the True World itself. In his first regal act, Random, with Corwin's aid and the power of the Jewel of Judgement, barely managed to cleave the great stormfront, the wave of Chaos that swept through all of Shadow as a result of Oberon's attempt to repair the damaged Primal Pattern. All that remain are us, the Scions of Amber, the humbled few who are no longer the center of everything. Nothing is certain any longer. We know not if Amber, or its guardian - our brother Gérard - still exist. The Courts of Chaos, a place of contradictions and madness, is our current sanctuary until a plan can be put into action to respond. Respond we must, to the need for armistice and wartime reparations. To the loss and helplessness. To the uncertainty of life after Patternfall. It's a new era. What are we - the scions of order, princesses and princes of the multiverse - going to do about it? Play surviving canon Amberites: Benedict, Corwin, Fiona, Bleys, Llewella, Flora, Caine, Julian, and Random who must come to terms with events following the end of the Corwin Chronicles book, The Courts of Chaos. In this game, Players will drive this open-ended free form story forward through a mixture of collaborative and competitive scheming and risk-taking into the unknown post-Patternfall life in Chaos, Amber, or anywhere in-between.

Cast of Characters

"I'm going to summon the one-armed freak." -- Random
"This is going to be the shortest reign ever." -- Benedict

"I'm not an alcoholic. I merely enjoy living in a liquid medium." -- Scott Whitney to the group, speaking for Llewella

"I did not intend to start out this game going to bat for Bleys." -- Caine to the group

"Fiona, you don't want to be shown up by me in the mystical arts." -- Flora
"Oh, believe me, I won't be." -- Fiona

"I can't believe I've got to rescue Bleys." -- Benedict
"From what?" -- Random
"Himself." -- everyone

"I never was much of a church boy." -- Dworkin to Llewella
"Says the demi-urge." -- Scott Whitney

"And you don't often see mounted combat at a funeral parlor." -- ? to the group

"Seeing Julian and Caine taking a body apart is nothing new to me." -- Fiona to GM

"It's not a proper death unless I have all my loved ones around me." -- Bleys
"You're not dying." -- Llewella
"We're not your loved ones." -- Caine

"You realize that Fiona brings something to Amber that none of you do." -- GM
"Narcissism?" -- Caine

"Day of the Dead" by Kristen Schleick

The stars and planets have aligned for a special blue moon in the Spring of Amber. It is a time of magic, when loves flame up and mysteries unfold like butterflies. King Oberon has decreed a Masquerade for the evening, and naturally you attend.

Then Tir lowers down to the earth, Amber becomes silver and Tir becomes real...and reality itself is called into question.

Cast of Characters

Group meeting at Bloody Bill's and discussing opposing something that Oberon is doing:
"We could meet for breakfast at the palace." -- Caprice
"Let's not meet at the palace." -- Normal
"Can we meet someplace else (besides my bar)?" -- Paolo

"(The wyvern) sniffs the food you threw, and decides it's not sufficient. It's coming towards you." -- GM to Garth
"It's a vegetarian wyvern, quick, throw it some fruit." -- Simone Cooper
"It's a zombie wyvern, it wants brains." -- GM

"He is naked, in chains, and surrounded by a pentagram." -- GM
"Oh, this is bad." -- Garth

"Dudesical: A Dude Where's My Jewel of Judgement? Musical" by Sean McCabe

"I was gonna go find the Jewel, but then I got high.
I was gonna walk the Pattern, too, but I got high.
Now I'm stuck in Chaos, and I know why.
Because I got high. Because I got high. Because I got high."
- And Then I Got High (AmberMix)

Something strange is afoot at Amber High.
Just as the schools play draws nigh.
An epidemic has broken among students and staff.
But that is not the plague, flu, or staph.
The effect it causes is the weirdest thing.
They sing about books, and love, and bling.
But what could be causing this trouble and strife?
This you must discover, before it ends your life.

Cast of Characters

"Mostly I stayed home and wrote poetry about the Abyss." -- Brand to the group, explaining what he did over the weekend

"No, we're like totally cool, Dude. Except for Brand." -- G-Man to teacher

"G-Man is building a pot air balloon." -- Madeline Ferwerda to the group

"So there's nothing horrible in shop class?" -- Brand to GM
"Just us." -- Randy

"I hit Brand on the back." -- G-Man
"Two hours later, you wake up." -- GM to Brand

"I think we should blame Corwin and light him on fire." -- Brand to G-Man

"Were you planning to kill Merlin or Martin?" -- GM
"I'll kill anyone whose name starts with M." -- Brand
"OK, Matt." -- GM

"Brand, you've been hit in the face with a balled cowboy hat, how do you react?" -- GM
"My eye!" -- Brand

"So, your teacher says you're schizophrenic." -- school nurse
"I'm perfectly normal...I'm going to stab everyone." -- Brand

"I'm skipping my next class because I don't know what my next class is." -- Randy to GM

"Liz, can we borrow your iPod so we can sing creepy songs about bestiality?" -- GM
"It's not about bestiality." -- Madeline Ferwerda
"It is when (Dworkin) sings it." -- GM

"I would love to see (a Martin vs. Brand) strength fight." -- GM to Brand

"Is there anything happening at lunch, besides music and dancing and bees?" -- GM to the group

"My ability to GM a "Dude" game has been hampered." -- GM to the group, after drinking a bit too much vodka

"Martin is like Brand if Brand were changed into an annoying chihuahua." -- Fiona to the group

"Naked Bleys shows up in the school infirmary with swollen genitals." -- GM to Brand
"This happens a lot." -- Madeline Ferwerda

"If Brand put his mind in you...." -- G-Man
"Brand hasn't put anything into me. Ever." -- Fiona

"Wasn't your death trap some scotch tape and a Chinese throwing star?" -- GM to Brand

"Not the piercings, not the piercings!" -- Brand to G-Man

"Do I look sexy, Brand?" -- G-Man

"Nevermind, I don't want to get into the metaphysics of your creepy magic. Get on with the spellcasting and the uncomfortable silences." -- GM to Brand

"Gérard tries to make psychic contact with your nipples." -- GM to Dee

"Random's left with the three girls and Gérard's nuzzling your nipples." -- GM to Dee

"You have such lovely nickels. They shine like...shiny things." -- G-Man to Dee

"I think the main problem is that Gérard isn't specific enough (in his plans)." -- GM
"Dude, the main problem is that I'm an idiot and nobody stops me." -- G-Man

"That is one problem with a Private Investigator Bee. They can't speak." -- GM to G-Man

"I conjure something to pick up Martin with." -- Randy
"Pot holders." -- G-Man, punning horribly

"You should always do this during the end-game. 'I summon a bee to solve all our problems.'" -- GM to G-Man

"One of these days, the fryalator will be full of bees." -- GM to Brand

Some of the "Then I Got High" lyrics created during the game:
"I was going to beat up Brand, but then I got high."
"I flew in my pot air balloon, and then I got high."
"I was going to wear some pants, but then I got high."
"And I wasn't going to sing, but then I got high."
"I was going to win a Potscar, but I got high."

Songs suggested by the players for various characters:
Bleys - "I'm Too Sexy"
Brand - "Do You Really Want to Hurt Me"
Caine - "House of the Rising Sun"
Fiona - "Goody Two Shoes"
Flora - "Venus"
Gérard - "In the Navy", "Because I Got High"
Julian - "Dude Looks Like a Lady", "Dancing Queen"
Random - "And Then I Got High", "Love is a Battlefield", "50 Ways to Leave Your Lover"

Ambercon

Kris' home page | Kris' RPG page

  Hellriders have passed through here since March 21, 2010.

Done by Kris Fazzari.

Game descriptions taken from the Ambercon 2009 Game Book.

Quotes taken by myself and Dawn Vogel.

Other web pages with quotes and/or commentary on Ambercon 2009 include:

Last modified on February 18, 2011 by Kris Fazzari.