AMBERCON 2008 Quotes

"Agents of the Argent Rose: 'City of Swords'" by R.F. McCaughey

France. The year is 1923. An age of wonder and contentment has come upon the world. The modern vision of great bards like Jules Verne has begun to see realization. The world hub for artistry, genius, and innovation is the banks of the river Seine. Paris.

You have been asked to attend the inauguration of a new President since your Aunt Lenaig and her party have lost the election. Private purpose, insure that Grandpere Corwin and Stigmatist radicals do not interfere with this event and thereby blacken the impartial process of the great republic.

Your mission, keep the peace and support the new President of France. The Argent Alliance, the honor of your family and innocent lives may hang in the balance.

Cast of Characters

"I will go shopping for clothes. No, wait, I will take one of my fashionable cousins with me, since otherwise who knows what I'll get?" -- Seamus to GM

"If the door knob's not on fire, then my dress won't catch on fire from touching it." -- Vivienne
"Correct. Of course, the dress is on fire when you reach the door nob." -- GM

"What happens if you don't exist in the future?" -- Simone
"Then I'll be surprised." -- 14 year old philosophy student

"I should talk to (the girl's) mother about how labs have a tendency to blow up." -- Chloe
"She's quite aware of that...her husband died in that explosion." -- GM

"I've still got a policeman to throw at him, and I'm pretty sure the policeman has a gun I can use." -- Vivienne to GM

"There's a brother named Random?" -- Simone to ?
"Maybe it's just a random name he came up with." -- Kris Fazzari

"You need to do something, you're messing with my students' heads." -- Simone to ?
"Isn't that your job?" -- Melisande

"That bit where (Lucien) said that Paris was doomed? I didn't realize he meant by him." -- Melisande to the group, after Lucien lights the bar on fire

"With all these fires and things, I'm not sure leaving Tesla alone is a good idea." -- Simone to the group

"What is supposed to work on vampires?" --Vivienne
"Crosses and lots of other things you don't have." -- GM

"ShadowWorld" by Edwin Voskamp

The real world in the current day, with a few changes (e.g. Quebec, Ontario the provinces east of it became a country and, with Cuba, Ecuador and Vanuatu, formed a Commonwealth). For (much) more detail, register at http://mainline.shadowworld.org/forums/ and let me know, so I can provide access to the 'operators only information' and read the 'Public Knowledge' forum.

ShadowWorld is a diceless roleplaying game based in our world, except that, under the facade of media, politics, political correctnes and 'reality' there is a ShadowWorld where strange things happen: psionic powers, ancient secrets, dark conspiracies that are hidden from or dismissed by the general public. Things have been getting seriously out of hand. The players are psionically gifted operators of a secret organization sent on a mission.

Cast of Characters

"You poke it? The black absence of the astral plane?" -- GM to Lan

"(Beathag's roses) pause for a few seconds and then explode outwards in a stream, running at you." -- GM
"I make myself scarce. I think I'm faster than a plant." -- Howard

"Ahead of the Storm" by Eric Todd

You are a proud child of Amber, born in the golden age that is Emperor Benedict's eternal reign. Power is your birthright, duty your mother's milk.

For twenty years you and your small cohort of young scions have paid your years of service, have learned the ways of the empire. Today you step forward into the sunlight of adulthood, unaware of the storm that looms behind you, threatening to wash all away.

Benedict is the Emperor of Amber and has been such for nearly two thousand years. Think Rome ruled by an eternal Augustus.

Most of the other elders and characters from the books are long dead or missing.

You are Benedict's youngest children, born of his harem, raised to be fierce and duty-bound. He is a distant, demanding, god-like father.

Cast of Characters

"I'm looking around to see what's causing the smoke." -- Harold
"The fire!" -- everyone else

"Amber Begins" by Mark MacKinnon

This is a story of a time long ago: a time of myth and legend. When the ancient gods were petty and cruel, and plagued mankind with suffering. Only one man dared to challenge their power: Oberon! Oberon possessed a power the world had never seen, and cunning surpassed only by the strength of his convictions. He journeyed the multiverse, battling the minions of his wicked ancestors, the all-powerful Chaosians. But wherever there was evil, wherever an innocent would suffer, there would be: Oberon!

Do they really believe that crap? You were there, even if you were younger. It wasn't quite like that.

Cast of Characters

"How do we view the Golden Circle? Like, do we think we're better than them?" -- Bleys
"Well, Bleys certainly does." -- GM

"I don't think Julian's going to talk to us after his Trump contact with Brand." -- Bleys
"I'd like to think we can do a better job than Brand-the-socially-inept." -- Deirdre

"Fiona walking down the hallway with bloody hands...just another day in Castle Amber." -- Kris Fazzari to the group

"Fiona, the goth chick of which all other goth chicks are but Shadow." -- Kris Fazzari
"Fiona, the one true goth chick." -- Daniel Pace and Scott Piippo

"You see a man with long white hair with a knife at Julian's neck as he's crushing your mind." -- GM
"Well, I try to stop that." -- Benedict

"Random Gambling - Family Values" by David Vandenabeele

"I promise, we'll get to the poker table, but there are a few things I have to clean up first." Random is smiling, but it doesn't quite reach his eyes...and the fact that Caine is coming along can't be good news. A violent little romp to the edge of the Abyss, inspired by the Sin City movie and the actioner Replacement Killers; neither are required viewing to participate...but it does set the mood.

Cast of Characters

"Oshi's warfare is high enough that you never see her underwear." -- Sean McCabe to the group regarding Oshi's short skirt

"Ill Met in Amber" by Kit Kindred

"Attend! The anniversary of the first year of the reign of Eric, by grace of the Unicorn and right of blood, King of Amber, draws nigh!"

Cast of Characters

"So the three weapons of "Ill Met in Amber" are enchantment, mystery and drama?" -- J.P. Brannan to the group

"We drink. And then, when the lights go out, and the rats come out, we fight." -- Juliana to O'Donovan

"All I need to know is how long...." -- Juliana to ?
"Stop right there." -- GM
"Look, I've already had O'Donovan inside of me, that's not even a concern at this point." -- Juliana

"I want a Weir on every whore in Southside." -- Juliana to the group

"No, we are not blindly flinging power out. Evie has more sense than that." -- Bridgette to the group

"So brave, heroic intelligence people...and O'Donovan." -- GM to the group

"I have notes in my underwear." -- Juliana to the group
"They're for Eric." -- Kris Fazzari

"(Juliana)'s a Feldane - who knows what might come out?" -- Liz Trumitch to the group

"Hawk tried to track the rider, and he passed out." -- George
"The rider or Hawk?" -- Madeline

"(Genvieve's) still alive?" -- Sol Foster
"She retired to the countryside." -- Kris Fazzari
"I thought that was just a euphemism." -- Sol Foster

"When the Queen Says, 'Go and Die...': The Lady in Question" by Kit Kindred

"You are surrounded by beauty, by intrigue, by danger, what more can a man want?" - Aramis

The sister of a Musketeer is missing! She must be found! The love of a lady has been spurned! She must be avenged! A lady and a Musketeer are in love! They must be wed! A new lady has captured the heart of all Paris! She must be wooed!

Romance! Revenge! Redecorating of taverns!

Cast of Characters

"Sylvan is the best cross-dressing Musketeer ever." -- Anne Delekta
"If by 'best' you mean 'most covered in lace'." -- Kris Fazzari

"I'm not paranoid, I know people are out to get me." -- Will to the group

"And (Jean-Luc's) sentenceses may be short, but they are coherent." -- Ray Laura
"Except for that one." -- the group

"Are you wearing your stealth tabard?" -- GM to Will, after he shows up dressed in black

"'I'm not the worst!' That's usually my cheer." -- Will to the group

"We have new recruits, so it's tradition that we must destroy a tavern." -- Charles to the group
"I had no idea we needed a tradition to destroy a tavern." -- Marcel

"To the tavern!" -- Charles to the Musketeers
"The rallying cry of the Musketeers." -- Kris Fazzari

"You have two new recruits, you should haze them." -- GM
"We'll just make the newbies fetch Lupin's food for the evening." -- Will

"I think Will should get to read the notes (between J.P. and the GM)." -- Sean McCabe
"Because he's a spy?" -- Kris Fazzari
"Yes." -- Sean McCabe
"He gets to read them, he just doesn't tell you." -- J.P. Brannan
"He is good at keeping secrets." -- Sean McCabe

"Alexis wishes to observe at some point." -- J.P. Brannan
"In France, we call that a voyeur." -- GM
"We always suspected you liked to watch." -- Bill Gulstad

"It's not a wedding without a stabbing." -- Will to the group

"Cardinal Richelieu crying into his sacrificial wine...." -- GM
"Don't you mean sacramental wine?" -- J.P. Brannan
"If you're Cardinal Richelieu, it's sacrificial wine." -- GM
"Yum, blood of the innocents." -- Kris Fazzari
"Tastes great, less filling." -- GM

"You could have used the carnivorous goats to clean your apartment." -- GM to Marcel
"They have their standards." -- J.P. Brannan

"I don't think you can confuse (Antoine du Marais dressed as) Widow Twanky with Marcel in drag." -- Kris Fazzari
"They're only separated by several decades, a hundred pounds, and a beard." -- J.P. Brannan

"If you like their dresses, they'd be happy to take them off so you can wear them." -- Lupin to Sylvan, referring to the prostitutes he has with him

"So that's how the great fire started in England." -- Sean McCabe
"Random showed up?" -- David R. McCreless

"(Sylvan) is first ranked in lace." -- Sean McCabe to the group

"At some point Lupin had a lady-in-waiting, but he seems to have replaced her with Peaches (the prostitute)." -- GM to Will

"Are you coming in before the strippers, or after the strippers?" -- GM to Jean-Luc

"I have a bachelor party to go to." -- Alexis, as the Musketeers crash the party he's at
"Fortunately, the bachelor party has come to you." -- Lupin

"And this was done in some cool, stylish kind of way?" -- GM to David R. McCreless and Ray Laura
"They think so." -- J.P. Brannan

"The smart (men in black) bring guns to knife fights." -- Will to the group

"That's odd, I don't think you have a whistle (command for your horse) for charging into battle." -- GM to Antoine
"It's an implied whistle." -- Kris Fazzari

"There can only be one (Lupin). France can't feed another." -- Kris Fazzari
"That's why it's getting colonies." -- GM

"Terribly sorry about (landing my horse on your table). Hope you didn't spill your drink." -- Antoine
"You must be new." -- Man in Black
"Musketeers don't usually apologize." -- Kris Fazzari

"The groom is not supposed to have bigger breasts than the bride." -- Kris Fazzari
"They're not bigger, they're just nicer." -- GM
"There was much lifting and separating involved." -- Bill Gulstad

"Antoine is going to end up so gender-confused." -- GM
"Welcome to the Musketeers!" -- Kris Fazzari

"Lady Gabrielle ran off with my horse!" -- Antoine to the group

"Now I'm going to have to rearrange the seating arrangements. (Marcel's ex-girlfriend) shouldn't be sitting next to him if she's trying to kill him." -- Sylvan to the group

"The three weapons of the Musketeers are drama, angst, and cross-dressing." -- GM to the group

"Please let my wedding not involve horse laxatives." -- Sylvan to the group

Checklist for any Musketeers game

1. Destroy a tavern
2. Run into the Man in Black
3. Have something run into the Man in Black
4. Embarrass the Cardinal's Guards
5. Embarrass Alexis
6. Break into the decoy wine cellar
7. Have anyone named Antoine ride a horse into a building
8. Have at least one Musketeer cross-dress

"ShadowWorld Invitational" by Edwin Voskamp

The real world in the current day, with a few changes (e.g. Quebec, Ontario the provinces east of it became a country and, with Cuba, Ecuador and Vanuatu, formed a Commonwealth). For (much) more detail, register at http://mainline.shadowworld.org/forums/ and let me know, so I can provide access to the 'operators only information' and read the 'Public Knowledge' forum.

ShadowWorld is a diceless roleplaying game based in our world, except that, under the facade of media, politics, political correctnes and 'reality' there is a ShadowWorld where strange things happen: psionic powers, ancient secrets, dark conspiracies that are hidden from or dismissed by the general public. Things have been getting seriously out of hand. The players are psionically gifted operators of a secret organization sent on a mission.

Cast of Characters

"Sometimes Duncan's smart." -- Lan to the group

"Changing the universe? We can do that." -- Lan to the group

"The first time I touched one of these things, you guys left me for dead." -- Lan to the group, referring to the blue glass throne

"The Gift" by Kristen Schleick

"Are you familiar with the writings of Shan Yu? No? Then let me introduce him to you."

You've been working the rim for a few years now, but pickings have never been so slim as this. You've finally reached the point where a job, any job, is the only thing between flying and not. It so happens that you are in range of Adelai Niska's Skyplex, and he has a job for you: deliver a gift to a wedding. It sounds simple, but these things are never so clean cut.

Cast of Characters

"You can learn a lot from pillow talk." -- Jason LeJeune (the very promiscuous captain)
"You are the captain. I'm not the captain. You must be right." -- Gabby (the first officer)

"One rule, Jesse: If we have to leave the wedding really quick, it's not because of anything you did." -- Jason
"As long as it doesn't screw us, why do we care what happens?" -- Jesse (a gambler)
"'Cause it might screw us." -- Jason

"I'm not going to strip." -- Jericho (weaponry specialist)
"Okay...but we could use the money." -- Gabby

"Riddles in the Attic" by Bridgette Ruggles

Your family is less than ordinary. Your parents, your aunts and uncles are all among the beautiful people. Well-to-do, dashing, daring, long lived and quick witted. Nobility even, though so far from Her Majesty's throne that it's not worth counting the line ahead of you. Of course, Great Uncle Bleys says, you don't want that one anyhow. But it's no time for silly, cryptic jokes. The year is 1942 and the world has descended into war again. This time the trouble has crossed the sea and planes pound the cities. Father is off to war and Mother has decided that you are going to Grandma Fiona's. A holiday in the country, she calls it, but lovely as Grandma might still be, she is a bitter old woman, made so, they say, when her youngest daughter vanished from a locked and secure house. Coincidentally, that was also when the family fortunes soured...along with the whole of the world's it seems.

A generation later the mystery has never been solved and the family has scattered, venturing into the cities and leaving the old manor, its memories, and its secrets, to gather dust.

Set in WWII England, PCs are the grandchildren (or even great grandchildren) of Fiona, Bleys, Gérard or Flora, age 5 - 13 yrs.

Cast of Characters

"Superstitious people believe in ghosts, but evil spirits are different and need warding." -- Simon to the group

"It's pretty sad that the Necronomicon is not enough of a diversion to slide down the banister." -- Alicia to the group

"I'll be a queen (when I grow up) and I'll have people do to my spells for me." -- Valerie to the group, upon learning that others are better at casting the opening spell than she is

"You've got a little pickax, a saw...plenty of rope to hang yourself with...." -- GM to Valerie, as she's being equipped to go into the forest

"I'm keeping an eye on the back of my neck." -- Valerie to GM
"That's a neat trick." -- Kris Fazzari
"Is there a spell for that?" -- Guy Gascoigne-Piggford
"It's called 'third eye'." -- Kris Fazzari

"Dude: The Pattern Score" by Sean McCabe

Dude! The PATs (Pattern Aptitude Test) are coming up and due to your totally heavy party schedule you haven't had time to study! What's a Dude to do? Steal the answers obviously. One problem though dude, the answers are like totally in Mr. O's office, locked in his desk, hidden in the magically and technologically guarded Amber High...still it's easier than studying.

Cast of Characters

"Flora and her deadly damage Chihuahua." -- GM
"Still deadly when frozen into a block of ice." -- Matt Andrews

"Wait, you light your pants on fire when you fall in the pool?" -- Randy
"No, I light the freshmen on fire." -- Brand
"Because they're hot for him." -- GM

"(The PATs) involve Pattern, so maybe you have to find your way through a maze. We can do that." -- Randy
"Dude, I don't know, I got lost in the Amber mall." -- G-Man
"And it's a strip mall." -- GM

"It's a friendship full of awkward silences and longing glances." -- GM, talking about Benedict and Brand
"I don't think friendship is quite the right word." -- Madeline Ferwerda

"I can be as much like one of the boys as you want." -- Dee
"No, then you'd be attractive to Julian." -- Randy

"You have to figure out a way to get into (Principal O's) office when it's empty, because when he calls you in there, he's almost always there." -- GM to the group

"(G-Man) looks up and (Principal O's) Bling of Judgment is dangling two inches over (his) face." -- Keith Amling to Madeline Ferwerda

"I blame myself for listening to (Brand's) tactics." -- Benedict
"That was your fatal flaw, yes." -- GM

"I have lost my keys, fool, open the door." -- Dee, disguised as Principal O, to Principal O's secretary

"Nothing is more important than getting those hall monitor reports. Benedict, break down the door to my office." -- Dee, disguised as Principal O, to Benedict

"Impertinating. It's a cross between being impertinent and impersonating." -- GM to the group

"I'm heading for the cafeteria, so I can pull our master planner out of the fryalator." -- Randy to GM, speaking of Brand

"I didn't want to wake you up, or something." -- G-Man
"It's four in the afternoon." -- Flora

"Dude, what excuse would we have to be at Principal O's house?" -- Randy
"Delivering a pizza?" -- G-Man

"Gérard's a great conjurer when he's not distracted by boobies. Unfortunately, he spends 95% of his time distracted by boobies." -- GM to the group

"Dude, that's so unfair. Why should only girls get to go into the girls' locker room?" -- G-Man to the group

"(G-Man's) private obsession that he's always working on - bee ball." -- Matt Andrews to the group
"I figured it was just like dodge ball, with bees." -- GM
"That would explain all the fatalities in gym class." -- Keith Amling

"Your fifth point in bad stuff is all in bees." -- GM
"One point bees, ubiquitous in Shadow.... I'm going to rewrite the Pattern just to edit out the bees." -- Brand
"I thought you were trying to blot out the Benedict/Dara sandwich?" -- GM
"That too." -- Brand

"Well, Llewella's already walking around (the locker room) naked, but you're not even sure she has gym class this term." -- GM to Dee

"That's a whole new level of bestiality that I don't want to get into. Dire bees." -- GM
"BEEstiality?" -- Ben Bernard

"Have you ever been hit in the head with a pair of large breasts?" -- Matt Andrews
"Yes." -- GM

"My heart is abuzz with sorrow." -- G-Man, speaking for the much-stung Brand, to the group

"So this game is like 'Dude, Porky's Revenge'?" -- Matt Andrews to the group
"Every game is like 'Dude, Porky's Revenge'." -- Keith Amling

"You think Principal O must have talked to the (bee sting-covered jocks), because there is no beating forthcoming." -- GM to Brand
"BEEting." -- Madeline Ferwerda

"(Randy, G-Man and Flora) come inside, there's grass stains in interesting parts...like Flora's forehead." -- GM to the group

"I'm never going to be able to use the word 'bee' again." -- GM to the group

"Just give me five points of bee stuff." -- Brand to the group

"Do you really think a pair of pot nose plugs is enough to get Gérard high?" -- Madeline
"Well, you've also been smoking pot and having sex all day. That might help." -- GM

"They should start calling you Bee Man." -- GM to Brand.

"I don't make eye contact with Principal O's mama." -- Brand to GM

"Gérard steps out of the office and conjures a safe-cracking bee that will not sting Brand first...." -- Madeline to GM

"I can't believe I'm going to let this work." -- GM to the group, about the safe-cracking bee

"Dude, the Bee Movie." -- GM to the group

"I'll have to name and number (Brand's) bad stuff: 1 point of deep fryers, 1 point of bee pheromones, 1 point of losing his cigarettes, 1 point of his thong in awkward places, 1 point of Dara and Benedict in awkward places." -- GM to the group

"It's for the school play, 'Romeo and Beeliet'." -- GM
"The Importance of Beeing Ernest." -- Matt Andrews
"It's the all bee version of 'Romeo and Juliet'" -- GM
"To bee or not to bee." -- Matt Andrews

"You should make glasses that actually make you smarter." -- GM to G-Man
"He's not smart enough to think of that." -- Kris Fazzari

"(Principal O's) called AAA - Amber Automobile Association." -- Matt Andrews to the group

"I will go to the place where I'm least expected - the men's locker room." -- Brand to GM

"It's a really bad idea to wet yourself in a PVC thong." -- GM to Brand

"The Pattern road test is based on strength and endurance. Yeah, Brand is going to die. He'll die on the chalk practice one." -- GM to the group

"Is there anything bees can't do? Not sting Brand." -- GM to the group

"To Live and Die in Texorami: Kings High" by Doc Kindred

"Texorami was a wide open port city, with sultry days and long nights, lots of good music, gambling around the clock, duels every morning and in-between mayhem for those who couldn't wait." -- Random, Sign of the Unicorn

Been a long time. Things have changed. Some folk have moved on. Some have passed on. Some have got themselves hitched. The Black Sands are just a mess of ugly black glass now. The storms have passed. Texorami endures.

So guess who just rode into town?

Cast of Characters

"Mongo have a plan." -- Mongo
*collective pause from the group*
*much worried laughter*

"What's the family business?" -- ?
"We're in land management." -- Random
"You're a farmer?" -- Hank
"I'm a king, okay?" -- Random
"I always thought that was hard to get into." -- Hank

"If you ever feel the need to die to spite me, I think I can handle it." -- Daniel to Random

"Whatever you do, don't stare at the Queen's nipples." -- David R. McCreless' Rebman diplomat to the other PCs

Ambercon

Kris' home page | Kris' RPG page

  Hellriders have passed through here since April 1, 2008.

Done by Kris Fazzari.

Game descriptions taken from the Ambercon 2008 Game Book.

Quotes taken by myself, Madeline Ferwerda, Sean McCabe, Bridgette Ruggles and Cliff Winnig.

Other web pages with quotes and/or commentary on Ambercon 2008 include:

Last modified on March 23, 2010 by Kris Fazzari.