AMBERCON 2007 Quotes

"The Enigma Society" by Jack Schleick

A nation attacked...A government in denial...A populace mislead...A civilization on the brink of destruction. While humanity's hope wanes, they come forth to stand against the darkest night. Their origins unknown, their motives suspect, and their methods questionable. Will they fall victim to utter lunacy, or survive to see the light of dawn? Once again, it is up to a group of remarkable individuals, to try to set things right. Previous players (and characters) are welcomed, as well as new players.

Cast of Characters

An exchange of telegrams:
Kit Walker: PART OF FIRST MESSAGE CLOSELY GUARDED SECRET STOP CHECKING SOURCES STOP HAVE YOU FOUND ANYTHING QUESTION MARK
Sir Richard Burton: BOOK CHECKED OUT FROM MUSEUM WITHOUT PROPER PROCEDURE STOP WATCHING THE SKIES STOP MAY DINE ON GOAT TONIGHT STOP BURTON
Kit Walker: WILL CONTINUE PURSUIT QUESTION MARK BLACK GOAT QUESTION MARK WALKER
Sir Richard Burton: UNDERSTOOD STOP ALL GOATS LOOK BLACK IN THE DARK STOP BURTON
Kit Walker: UNDERSTOOD STOP WILL SEE YOU LATER STOP
Sir Richard Burton: THANK YOU STOP MUST HAVE LAST WORD STOP BURTON

"Sir, if you get into a very large gun I would be delighted to pull the laniard." -- Sir Richard Burton to John Carter

"Lean Times in Amber" by Kit Kindred

King Oberon is missing and presumed dead. Prince Eric is Regent and Defender of the Realm. For the first time in history, the eternal city will have a new King. But there are dark threats and old ghosts on the horizon....

Cast of Characters

"Of course I'm right, because I'm only repeating what Arref said." -- ?

"ShadowWorld" by Edwin Voskamp

ShadowWorld is a diceless roleplaying game based in our world, except that, under the facade of media, politics, political correctness and 'reality' there is an Underworld where strange things happen: psionic powers, ancient secrets, dark conspiracies that are hidden from or dismissed by the general public. The players are psionically gifted operators of a secret organization sent on a mission.

Though an ongoing world setting, it is an episodic campaign: new players are welcome.

The setting is current day, real world, except that there have been more open acts of terrorism: gas attacks, explosions, and even neclear tactical weapons have been used by varied terrorest organizations around the world. Quebec, Ontario, and the provinces east of it became a country, and, with Cuba and Ecuador, formed a Commonwealth, recently joined by Vanuatu, after a bloody uprising. In the last 12 months, a series of religiously tinted major acts have reshaped the world, causing an intensive and extensive backlash against religions and religious expressions.

Cast of Characters

(Simon Monk is referred to as Monk in the quotes, to avoid confusion with NPC Simon)

"Is there any sort of protocol I should follow when addressing the Guardians?" -- Rupert
"Be polite." -- Miguel
"That kind of goes without saying when talking to beings of great power." -- Rupert

"Edwin probably wasn't prepared for the group to ask this." -- Guy Gascoigne-Piggford
"I wonder if the team will want to know how many nukes it takes to detroy western Europe?" -- Simone, speaking for the GM

"We think that the problem in Avalon is resolved, in that Avalon is destroyed." -- Miguel to Simon
"Which is how the Circle usually resolves its problems." -- Kris Fazzari

"Agents of the Argent Rose: 'City of Czars'" by R.F. McCaughey

France. The year is 1923. An age of wonder and contentment has come upon the world. The modern vision of great bards like Jules Verne has begun to see realization. The world hub for artistry, genius, and innovation is the banks of the river Seine. Paris.

You have been asked to attend the grand spectacle of a double wedding of the Grand Duchesses Olga and Tatiana of Russia. Private purpose, insure that Stigmatist radicals do not interfere with this international event.

Your mission, keep the peace and support the young democracy of Russia. The Argent Alliance, the honor of your family, and innocent lives may hang in the balance.

Cast of Characters

"Any time I'm called to the palace and someone doesn't try to kill me, is a good day." -- William to the group

"Let me know if there's anything else you need." -- Uncle Laurent to William, after telling him of the son he didn't know he had
"Condoms, apparently." -- Kris Fazzari

"It has crossed my mind that people with packages of dynamite are better off dead than wounded." -- William to GM

"If you don't mind my saying so, you don't look old enough to be my father." -- Lucas
"I'm fairly sure I've never heard something like that before." -- William

"I'm a better shot when I'm shooting supernatural foes." -- unknown to unknown

"Can (the silks) be invisible?" -- Lucas
"You've never seen one...." -- GM

"The door shut ahead of you, not 30 seconds ago. Who knows what's on the other side of it?" -- GM
"I guess I'll kick it in and find out." -- William

"Aurellis" by Timothy Hart

Multiverse? What multiverse? What sane person could ever believe that just by stepping into a metal carriage with no windows, you might be transported to an entirely different universe - I mean really! (Otherwise known as modern day Earth with some weird things going on.)

Cast of Characters

"What kind of stores do you go to?" -- Vasya
"The ones where they don't ask questions and take cash." -- Jeffrey

"They fall over with large amounts of exanguinity." -- GM to Vasya, after he shoots two people

"Brave New Arkham" by James Arnoldi

(An Elseworlds Adventure.) Since 1921, the Arkham Asylum for the Criminally Insane, has been one of the leading treatment centers for many advanced forms of psychosis. Despite a poor track record of inmate escapes, Arkham Asylum is the home of many of the most dangerous supervillians of all-time and is one of the few facilities prepared to handle the special needs of some of the superpowered inmates like Dr. Victor Fries (a.k.a. Mr. Freeze). Arkham's newest arrival may doom the entire world.

The inmates of the south wing have been hearing voices but only one has been able to find a way to answer the voices. Following their directions, he has released the great old one who slept beneath the asylum and his cackling laughter is only drowned out by the screaming of those who look upon the new arrival's terrible visage. As the insanity of Arkham spreads, can even the combined might of the world's greatest sorcerors and superheroes stop the apocalypse released by the Joker?

Cast of Characters

"Are you a virgin?" -- Doctor Doom to ?
"He's ten freakin' years old!" -- Spider-Man
"Good. I have use for you." -- Doctor Doom

"I was thinking, 'He's stealing the thunder! He's Doctor Shazam! Shazoom!" -- GM to ?

"A Double Dozen Seas: A Dark Sail on the Horizon" by Kit Kindred

Prince Corwin lives and leads an invasion fleet against Amber. Prince Gerard deploys the Southern Fleet away from Amber and the coming conflict. Prince Caine prepares the Northern Fleet to engage the enemy and defend the realm.

What will you do?

Cast of Characters

"The ocean sucks!" -- multiple people during the game

"Wait, he's retired?" -- Adain, realizing that Ambrose is a retired admiral and therefore she doesn't have to obey his orders

"Ill Met in Amber" by Kit Kindred

For the first time in its long history, Amber will soon have a new King. But even as Prince Eric's coronation day draws near, Prince Bleys and Prince Corwin lead inhuman forces against the eternal city.

Cast of Characters

"What happens in the rangers stays in the rangers." -- GM
"Mostly because Morganstern will get cranky." -- Stormy
"We know it gets cold in Arden at night." -- GM

"I am willing to die in this conflict, but I'd much rather it be because the enemy killed me." -- Jharak to the group

"I notice anytime I try something innovative, I get fucked over." -- O'Donovan
"That's only when it's magical...and/or dangerous...." -- GM

"There are no salvage rights on dead Commodores...give it up!" -- ? to Sabatini

"Eric, friend of the environment." -- J.P. Brannan to the group, after Eric burns Garnath

"Egotistical, short-sighted bastard!" -- Madeline to the group, referring to Corwin
"Shorter-sighted soon." -- Bill Gulstad

"Well, I have to kill everyone, otherwise my cover will be blown." -- Madeline to GM

"It's a bad day to be good-looking with black hair and wearing black and silver." -- Kris Fazzari to the group, as Amber's forces rain arrows down on Corwin's forces in the Oisen River

"Who needs a warfare score when you have fangs?" -- Scott Whitney
"Who needs a warfare score when you have breasts?" -- Liz Trumitch

"Evie can create tsunamis. This is something I should know." -- O'Donovan to the group

"Turkish Song of the Damned" by Kristen Schleick

"This shadow hanging over me
Is no trick of the light
The spectre on my back will soon be free
The dead have come to claim a debt from thee."

Once upon a time, you worked the seas, moving cargo from Bombay to London, Cairo to Java. Sometimes the work was simple trade, other times as privateers. That was, until that fateful night so terrible, you counted yourself lucky to have survived. You retired from the sea, the huge fortune so divided giving you a comfortable living. Now several land-bound years later, the few remaining crew are called together for a meeting. The dead have a score to settle, and it's time to find a way out for everyone, or perish one by one.

Cast of Characters

"It's not a bad plan...if it works." -- Joe Saul to ?

"(The Captain) didn't even offer a reach around. He's a fucking..." -- Billy to ?
"...Frenchman?" -- Captain Jean Florin

"The Frenchmen have a reputation for being lovers because they write their own press. Italians? They really are." -- Nicolo to ?

"I have only one objection and that's that I didn't find out (Billy is a woman) sooner." -- Nicolo
"That's especially embarrassing for me." -- Captain Jean Florin

"When the Queen Says, 'Go and Die...'" by Kit Kindred

"You are surrounded by beauty, by intrigue, by danger, what more can a man want?" -- Aramis

The Musketeers must once again defend France from evil villains, nefarious plots, beautiful women, and darkest sobriety.

Cast of Characters

"Armande is a tragic hero!" -- Tymen VanDyk
"Well, he's tragic...." -- Kris Fazzari

"What plans?" -- Marcel
"The secret plans to France's navy." -- Armande
"You didn't mention that part." -- Marcel

"My witty plan is to find Alexis." -- Marcel to the group

"We got a tip that the (secret) plans were at the bottom of a bottle, so we had to drink everything to find it." -- Sylvan to the group, explaining why the Musketeers protected Alexis' wine cellar rather than going on the mission

"I will cunningly hide this cask of ale by carrying it under my arm." -- Bugger to the group

"Thank God for the shawl of cross-dressing!" -- GM to the group, after hearing that half the musketeers are disguising themselves as women.

"I think the best show tonight is not the one happening on stage." -- Frederick to GM, after hearing the rest of the group's plans

"There's nothing like being a Musketeer." -- Marcel
"And what I'm doing is nothing like being a Musketeer." -- Bugger

"Yes, (the traitor) can have a fair trial...posthumously." -- Lupin to the group

"Maria de Maria de Maria...we suspect that it's a false name." -- GM to the group

"He's got balls of steel! Well, close." -- Matt to the group, after Charles stuffs "his" codpiece with marbles

"I resist the urge to wap (the prissy women) with my purse full of marbles." -- Sylvie to the GM

"Backed up by Bugger. Now there's a phrase that you don't hear very often." -- Kris Fazzari to the group

"Do any of the (women) look like Cardinal's Guards?" -- Xavier
"No, they look decidedly feminine." -- GM
"So they look like Musketeers!" -- several people

"There's the (exit) you came in through with the sleeping guard." -- GM to Armande, referring to the guard Sylvie knocked out earlier and then Bugger tried to wake up
"Shaken, not stirred." -- Bugger

"The Musketeers - where a man is a man...sometimes." -- Sean McCabe to the group

"But what about Maria de Maria de Maria?" -- GM, after Xavier and Jesus swing down from the balcony
"She's guarding our seats. They're good seats!" -- Xavier

"I'll do my best to guide the chandelier to the aisles." -- Xavier to GM
"You mean where the people are fleeing as they try to escape the theater?" -- Kris Fazzari

"How do you exit the theater?" -- GM
"The same way I exited the Countessa's house." -- Charles
"Missing an arm?" -- Kris Fazzari
"Bleeding, mortally wounded, and carrying a dead dog." -- GM

"It doesn't have to be to the death, it can be to first blood." -- Armade
"Oh, I hate the sight of blood." -- Sylvan
"Then win the duel!" -- GM

"Sylvan can't go on a date with the Man in Black." -- GM
"He can if the Man in Black wears a dress!" -- Matt Andrews

"Are you doing anything crazy before the ball?" -- GM
"I brush up on my courtly manners." -- Armande
"I learn to write poetry." -- Sylvan
"I wish I was dead." -- Marcel

"And you know (Lupin's date) is respectable because she's dressed in the costume of the most respectable profession that Lupin is aware of...she's dressed as a nun." -- Lupin to GM

"Dashing Blades of Amber" by Sol Foster

Return to earlier times, when good King Oberon ruled over the growing trading port of Amber, and His Majesty's handpicked guard, the Royal Blades, kept the peace. A royal kidnapping threatens to leave the city in chaos. Can the King's men, paragons of honor and swashbuckling elan, work together with Benedict's Lancers to set things right?

Cast of Characters

"You're definitely feeling kind of oily and bruised." -- GM
"That's not the first time I've felt that way." -- Kal

"Just because I'm charming doesn't mean I can't be charming when putting in the thumb screws." -- Hotspur to the group

"All I need is to find the nearest bucket." -- Kal to GM
"You find it...unfortunately for you, it's a chamber pot." -- Kit Kindred

"We interrogate Sparrow (Lark's sister)." -- Hotspur
"Are you shining a light in her face?" -- GM
"Yes, the light glinting off of my pretty teeth." -- Hotspur

"If you're done seducing the 13-year-old, can we get back to work?" -- Jeckie to Hotspur

"There are three things that Hotspur almost always has with him...." -- Kit Kindred
"Condoms?" -- Kris Fazzari
"Four things!" -- Kit Kindred

"So, if we're stuck in the water and run out of food, who do we eat first?" -- Borchio
"You. You're bigger...and plus, you owe me money." -- Kal

"You successfully rescued Benedict and the Queen." -- GM to the group
"And how often do you get to say that in a game?" -- Kris Fazzari

"Blaze of Glory" by Sol Foster

Go out in a blaze of glory, as Bleys leads his elite guard down the Black Road to join in the Patternfall War.

Cast of Characters

"Robyn's goal is always to survive." -- Jenn Woelke to GM
"That is not (Jayne's) goal." -- Liz Trumitch
"We know." -- Kris Fazzari

"Would you like a plot?" -- GM
"Well, we've managed without one for the past three years." -- Andy Ransom

"I'm so happy I don't have family." -- Lorianne
"Lucky you." -- Jayne

"We must go to the end of the universe, gathering an army along the way." -- Bleys
"That sounds like quite a long way." -- Spider
"Several days, yes." -- Bleys

"We don't tell (the Sharks the mortality rate) when we recruit them, we just offer them bonuses if they live." -- Jayne to the group

"You're just number one in inspiring people to die." -- GM to Jayne

"Did we remember to bring a spare Ewan on board?" -- Cyrano to the group, after Ewan lines up a suicide run

"So, did you talk to your sister lately?" -- Ewan
"Yeah, I think she likes girls." -- Jayne
"That's something we have in common, then." -- Ewan

"If Amber is diceless, then Chaos must have dice!" -- GM to the group

"That's one Shark that definitely won't be coming back as a zombie." -- Spider to Jayne, after one of them is blown up by multiple missiles

"We go to fight the evil at the end of the universe." -- Jayne
"How do we know you are not the evil at the end of the universe?" -- Nomad leader
"Because this is not the end of the universe." -- Jayne

"Would you like your nose to be smaller?" -- Robyn the four-armed
"Would you like your arms to be fewer?" -- Cyrano

"I pick out the ones that are obviously the nutters." -- Jayne
"Shark material." -- Lorianne

"I hold my breath and let (the giant) take me inside of it, so I can destroy it from the inside." -- Jayne to GM

"I have to live to make sure Lord Bleys is OK." -- Jayne to GM

"Dude! Road Trip!" by Sean McCabe

In this latest sequel to "Dude! Where's My Jewel of Judgment," the students of Amber High are travelling to the deepest darkest depths of Shadow, that's right, Earth!

Cast of Characters

"I have shapeshifting! I create a hall pass out of my hand!" -- Dee to GM
"She is the hall pass." -- Matt Andrews

"I should get some tacos...maybe (Llewella) would like some of her native food." -- G-Man to Randy

"Brand has a date that he paid for. Not in-game, he put points into it before the game." -- GM to the group

"Remind me of that when it's hideously appropriate." -- GM
"Is there any other time?" -- Ben

"The dance starts exactly at 8, so (Benedict) arrives at 7:55." -- GM to the group

"This is not how I was expecting the game to go...I wasn't expecting as many threesomes." -- GM to the group

"Whose tentacle is that?" -- ? to ?

"Your girlfriend is very...hirsute." -- GM to Julian

"I could just leave and let you guys discuss your creepy, creepy sex with each other." -- GM to the group

"I don't think we've ever had this much sex in a Dude game." -- GM
"There's been sex, just not with so many people at the same time." -- Kris Fazzari

"I have bad news for you...our school mascot has been stolen." -- Principal O
"Does he pity the fool?" -- Kris Fazzari
"Oh, does he pity him." -- GM

"There's a Trump picture of Bleys in the (make-out) closet, in case someone needs to reach him in a hurry." -- GM
"For a good time, just stare." -- Kris Fazzari

"How do you attract the Unicorn to come to you?" -- Julian
"Flowers and candy." -- creepy janitor Dworkin

"The five k's of things you cannot do: kids, crap, corpses, kin and critters." -- Julian to the group

"I spit my tobacco juice out the side window." -- Julian
"Then you roll down your window and try again." -- GM

"Bleys, are you being relatively innocent?" -- GM
"Of course. I'm in the back with the fucking dog!" --Bleys
"That doesn't answer the question." -- several people

"I think burning sensations are no stranger to Gérard." -- Jeremy Zimmerman to the group

"No one's allowed to have sex with the sheep, or the Unicorn, or Julian's dog." -- GM to the group

"Let's check your warfare. Can you balance your bike on a craggy rock in the water?" -- GM
"I can't balance my bike at all without training wheels." -- Brand

"Is (Brand's) warfare higher than water?" -- Fiona Morales to Matt Andrews
"No, I don't believe (his) warfare is higher than water." -- GM

"No one has the plot, because every time I try to give someone the plot, they have sex with it." -- GM to the group

"You know Deirdre would like to help, but it's been at least five minutes since she's had sex." -- Ben Bernard to the group

"With Mandor's balls, you never know what you're going to get." -- Random to the group

"He's titmatized." -- Cynthia to the group, after one of the goons is immobilized by the sight of Dee's breasts

"Is Thursday a school day?" -- Randy to the group

"To Live and Die in Texorami: 'Last Set'" by Doc Kindred

"Texorami was a wide open port city, with sultry days and long nights, lots of good music, gambling around the clock, duels every morning and in-between mayhem for those who couldn't wait." -- Random, Sign of the Unicorn

The Black Sands have been quiet for some time. It's time for a celebratory shindig. In Texorami, that means drinking, gambling, fighting, and perhaps most importantly, music....

Cast of Characters

"Old man, do you perform marryin'?" - "Red Hot" Ryerson
"Oh? Well! Yes, I suppose I have done that." -- Grandpa, who turned out to be Dworkin
*Nods* "Yep. I figgered an old geezer religious type like you would be one of those fellas that officiates weddings. It's the end of the world, and if we aren't gonna play poker -- I'm fixin' to marry a gal." -- "Red Hot" Ryerson

"If you help us, I'll name my first child after you, Grandpa." -- "Red Hot" Ryerson
"You will not!" -- Jamie Blue Diamond
"That would be very awkward if she was a girl." -- Grandpa
"I'm a man of my word." -- "Red Hot" Ryerson
"Still, none of my line had my name. I always thought Dworkin was a very fine name." -- Grandpa
*thinks on that* "I like Grandpa better." -- "Red Hot" Ryerson
"We'll use her middle name." -- Jamie Blue Diamond

Ambercon

Kris' home page | Kris' RPG page

  Hellriders have passed through here since March 11, 2008.

Done by Kris Fazzari.

Game descriptions taken from the Ambercon 2007 Game Book.

Quotes taken by myself, R.F. McCaughey and Jeremy Zimmerman.

Other web pages with quotes and/or commentary on Ambercon 2007 include:

Last modified on April 14, 2009 by Kris Fazzari.