There is nothing now, in my heart.
When I close my eyes, I see only her face, and feel only the horrible things -- pain, grief, the loss of the one thing in my life, the only thing I could trust, I could live for.
She made me so much the better man. She allowed me to be a better man. She softened all of the harsh edges of me, her smile lit up a room, the warmth of her at night washed away all my sins.
I jumped into the Abyss to save her, all for naught.
I survived, and searched to the world's end, all for naught.
I would look the rest of my life for her, scanning every Shadow, if not for knowing that there is a small girl here now who I cannot abandon.
Of all the pain of my life, I have never -- ever -- felt it so much as when I realized that my searching would not only be fruitless, but of the effect that it would have made on Sarah.
The girl deserves better. And in time, I am sure I will grow to love her as my daughter.
And I suppose it is lucky that she is here, for I have found it too tempting to run the Pattern dagger across my wrists and sleep one final time.
There is nothing left, anymore. I will never love again.
Goodbye, Bailey.
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