Jared uth Wistan

Misgivings

I sat in the very back to watch the proceedings at the church that morning. It seemed quite popular with the masses, but I did notice that there was a significant lack of lords or nobility. Perhaps the Church of the Light has always had a focus towards those whose futures were less certain, or perhaps the other God, their Unicorn, was still being revered. I did not stay long to find out -- I only wanted to see how things were conducted. Surprisingly the particulars were rather similar, with twists here and there.

*****

Back in Solamnia, one of my closest advisors was Sir Davos Kearn, Knight of the Crown. I knew that I could count upon him to speak frankly upon any matter without worrying about the political implications or jockeying for my favor. What many people did not know is that Kearn was initially a young officer with the Dragonarmies during the War of the Lance, with no noble background. As a prisoner of war I found him, on his knees, ready to face the Knight's Trial and the execution that would surely wait. When his head looked up at me, I saw the same look in his eyes that I would see years later, in the eyes of a dark-haired girl in Castle Amber.

I tried to tell her that it didn't matter what had come before, and that there were sometimes good reasons for why things were done. I hoped that I could inspire some bit of self-worth, to give her the boost she seemed to need to put her life right. As of now, the results are unclear, but I will pray for the best. I want to help as much as I am able, but I think she may already see my presence as overbearing. Myths is not my officer and not my charge, I must remember.

I found an old man down in the cells performing some sort of magical ritual. His look was somewhat familiar, but it wasn't until he introduced himself as Jenner, my mother's father, that I saw the resemblance. I was glad for the chance to talk to him, as I'd been able to see the inherent discrepancies and problems with how the church had handled the situation. Fortunately, it was a ruse to throw off suspicion of the Scions. He's a good man, I sense, and he was not over-anxious to become grand-fatherly towards me. We agreed to keep each other informed as to what we may have found.

*****

I walked out of the room, slumped backwards against the wall and sighed. Never before did I feel so uneasy about something that seemed to have been done with the best of intentions. Cordelia simply wanted to remove some children to safety -- something I could normally fully support. Yet doubt tore at me as soon as the plan went into motion, and it has not left my heart.

I remember a trip to Kethos, the isle that the Minotaurs claim as theirs. I vividly recall a father berating and striking his child for punishment. As much as I wanted to say something, it was not my culture and I could not impose my morality on them. This is the problem with what's going on here -- who are we to pull children out of infinite Shadows because we think they are treated badly? Are we the caretakers of the universe?

Cordelia believed that to bring the children to Amber would make them safe from Anna's possible schemes. However, Amber is far from safe. In fact, the notoriety of being a stranger brought to this place may be less safe than a tenuous connection to Cordelia in that Shadow. Does Cordelia not remember the story of why most of us, or our parents, were marooned in Shadow in the first place? Because Amber was not safe.

I can only hope that those children will find peace here. The terrified looks on their faces as they came in was more than I could bear, and I left.


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