A few moments later, and she knew.
*****
I'd had the honor of presiding over a marriage back in Solamnia, in the countryside, where a young man and woman wanted to be married so urgently. I hadn't quite understood at the time what they were so frantic about, and I performed the ceremony with as little fanfare as I could. They thanked me and immediately rode off. I smiled. It was good to see the power that could bring two individuals together. Upon running into them some weeks later, I found that their village still clung to the old ways of worship -- including a vow that they could not, er, consummate the relationship until bound by one such as myself. A few moments of understanding gave me laughter as I rode on home.
There was a time where Uncle Gunthar's wife tried everything to get me to commit to a local lord's daughter. She was pretty, yes, but there seemed to never be a woman who had really touched anything inside me. And, as always, the road, or my duties, or war would call, and the tender places of my heart raised their shields again. I'd ride off alone.
*****
When I finally woke, Mythos lay there looking at me. I could only smile sleepily. "How are you?"
"Good. And you?"
"Good." I smiled, and we fell into our habit of not knowing what to say next. "Should I round up some breakfast?"
She thought about that a moment, then shook her head. "How about a hot shower and then we go downstairs."
I nodded. "If you would. Who should go first?"
Mythos rolled her eyes and smiled, as if I'd asked why the sky was blue. Standing, she let the sheet fall from her and pulled me out of the bed. "Boy, we have a lot of things to learn." How right she was.
*****
We'd each had business to tend to. My uncle Arthur found me -- very much his father's son, that man, but I found myself oddly enjoying his company. I see a lot of myself in him, although he's a bit too severe. Considering some of the things that had happened in Amber, I don't blame him.
We took the barge to Arden Isle, the last vestige of beauty in an otherwise wasted marsh. Arthur's sister Caerwyn led a mission here, and I was free to explore after a while. A wandered a snaking path to the heart of the forest, which opened to a glade -- the beauty nearly brought tears to my eyes. In the center stood the statue of the great Unicorn, god-guardian, now seemingly forgotten. I sat there for time unending until Caerwyn collected me again. As I left, I thought that I should bring Mythos to this place. Granted, she seems more at home in the city, but this one place may be the only things that makes me truly believe that this is the center of the Universe.
Upon my return, I found Mythos dressed to enter town. She explained haltingly that Fayne was taking her to dinner in town. Alone.
For the first time in many years I felt the blood rushing through my veins, pounding in my ears. It was one brief moment, and then I blinked. A strange parody of my voice whispered horrible things in my head -- that I was stupid to think she'd want anything from some backwards barbarian who didn't know any better, and who'd probably been so incompetent at lovemaking that she had no choice but to fling me aside...
I panicked. I knew not what to say. I mumbled something, not knowing what, and on instinct escaped to my room, cursing myself a fool just minutes later. The legendary control -- they called me the Knight of Stone! -- crumbled, and I was left as a mere boy, brought down not by claw or sword, but by doubt.
*****
For forty years of my life, I'd wandered my homeland and some land beyond that upholding the principles of honor that I held so dearly -- chivalry, honesty, trust. But it only took one small event (that I'd clearly made to be more than it was) to bring all of those powerful, doubt-fueled emotions -- greed, selfishness, paranoia -- and I'd turned myself into someone I did not like very much.
I found difficulty in explaining what had happened to Mythos. I think about it now, as I hold her in my arms for the second night, and realize that I was being, as a fellow knight I knew once said, "typically man-like." She doesn't quite realize, I think, that my emotions are ever so strong -- it is only through years of self-discipline that I conduct myself as I do. When she sat across from me, and I could only see a trace of the silk beneath her robe, it was all I could do but to clear that distance between us and take her in my arms right then and there. Forty years of pent up emotions that had never been stirred as they are now. And while that is for the good, there's also the emotions I'd never felt -- the jealousy, for example, that are fresh in me, and that I deal with for the very first time.
There was a heartbeat at which I'd thought I'd lost all that had come into my arms, when I thought she'd walk away. But instead, she finally shook her head, smiled that crooked smile that had me from the start, and put one finger to my lips.
"No more words, now."
After a brief struggle, I relented.
*****
I know exactly not the path we walk down, but I find myself excited. It is a great unknown, an undiscovered country -- and every bit of me longs to see what is yet to come.
Aye, it is true, I am but a man. And that's something for which, for the last day, I have been truly grateful.
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