This is something I wrote in a fit, in April of 1995. Every time I have relationship problems, like this June/July (1997), this text comes back to haunt me. The problem, I think, is that it becomes more true every time I read it.

I'm not looking for a girlfriend. I'm looking for a partner. Someone I can share with, not someone I can play with. Life's like that sometimes, I guess.
I'm looking for someone who I can talk to, and emote with. Someone I feel a connection with. Someone I feel an equality with. Thats what I'm looking for. I want someone I can share my life with, such as it is, and someone who will share their life with me. I want what my parents seem to have. They don't agree on some things, they do agree on other things, but they can always talk about all things. Well, OK, that's a little more than what my parents have, but who's to say that I shouldn't want more than they've had for the years they've been married?
I'm looking for someone who shares interests with me. Who will go to the grocery store and be a little bit silly occasionally. Who isn't afraid of a little bit of adventure. I don't need much, I'm not really that kind of guy, but every once in a while, I just want to let my hair down. Someone I can go to an action movie with, and afterward, talk about just how silly it was that the main character didn't die. Someone I can go to an occasional sappy movie with, and, when the sappy parts come on, all I have to do is glance over, and know what they're thinking, and maybe get a kiss out of it. Someone I can go for a walk with, but not feel pressured into it, just have it be a mutual part of the relationship. Someone I can share a good book with. Someone I can turn into a vegetable in front of the TV with. Someone I can share my life with.
I'm looking for someone who's not afraid of change, but relies on stability. Someone who is willing to love and be loved, and willing to let that be the stable point of the relationship. Someone I can depend on, but someone who can depend on me at the same time.
I'm looking for someone I can be intimate with. Someone who shares my ideals, who respects who I am, and is occasionally willing to laugh in bed. I'm looking for someone special, someone mature enough to recognize my needs and express their needs, but free enough to explore virgin territory. I'm looking for someone who is sometimes a sap, sometimes a cynic, and sometimes a philosopher.

I'm looking for too much.