The Contest:
(Contest ended 4 April, see below for results!)

• Though it may seem like nonsense, it actually isn't. If you think you can explain where this saying comes from, or what we mean when we say it, send your guesses by email to D before midnight Sydney time on Monday 4 April.
• Here's a hint! Thanks to D's foodie friends, Chad became obsessed with Food Channel personality Alton Brown. "AB" (as Chad now calls him) taught us some interesting facts about superheated water.

Contest Rules:

• Deadline: midnight Sydney time on Monday 4 April. Entries must be postmarked by this time. Only email entries are accepted.
• On submission, your entry becomes the property of D and Chad. Thanks for that!
• All entries will be posted on this web page once the contest is completed, so that everyone else can laugh at them too.
• Points will be awarded for accuracy, creativity, and amusement value, not to mention good old fashioned style. All points are awarded at the discretion of D and Chad and must be surrendered on request. Points are not redeemable for cash.

Chad's hero "AB" taught us that water needs some foreign object or surface imperfection to boil, but glass containers (like we would tend to use in the microwave) do not provide such a "trigger" for water being heated. A bamboo stick (AB's suggestion) gives the water the necessary imperfection so that it boils instead of exploding when you nudge it while taking it out of the microwave.

Homesickness, Chad pointed out some weeks ago, acts like the stick of bamboo in that it allows all the little frustrations and annoyances to "boil over" in us. At home, none of these things would put us over the edge, but away from home, we are much more likely to feel overwhelmed by them. So, homesickness is the stick of bamboo in the glasses of hot water that are us.

As any scholar will tell you, Australia has long been known to the Aborigines as "ga-da wahan-ma," which roughly translates to American English as "glass of hot water."

Bamboo is known for its strength, which comes partly from its ability to go with the flow, so to speak -- to bend rather than break when stresses are placed upon it.

Literally speaking, if you were to put a stick of bamboo into a glass of hot tap water, not too much would happen. But if we substitute superheated water for the merely "hot" water, the story changes dramatically.

Due to the properties of superheated water, the essence of the bamboo is set free. We are graced with an aroma not normally associated or able to be drawn out of bamboo.

So when you hear people throwing around the ever-popoular but little-understood phrase, "Homesickness is the stick of bamboo in the glass of hot water," you will now have some understanding of what they mean:

Australia might be wonderful, but a little homesickness can be a positive thing -- like bamboo in hot water, it allows for feelings and emotions and experiences you would miss without it.

Remember, any chef worth his shaker of salt will remind you to always add a dash of homesickness to bring out the essence of any meal.

I've managed to be introduced to "AB", as the fans call him, and to learn about superheated water AND to play around with my BRAND NEW computer!!!!

I learned that superheated water can explode on contact with any foreign object (or even just by setting a container down on a counter, say). So perhaps you all are describing how your time in Sydney is like this glass of hot water, right? Meaning that it has all sorts of kinetic energy making the molecules move around real fast, right? And the energy and excitement of your time in Sydney is a good thing, and it's all... kinetic and stuff, right? But then, oh no!, a stick of bamboo (aka homesickness) haphazardly leaps into your glass of superheated water! And suddenly all of the excited energy that was contained on your feelings for Sydney violently and dangerously explode into upsetness about being so far from home (damn bamboo!). And gosh darnit -- that stupid stick of bamboo makes everything just CRAZY for a bit. And then everything goes back to normal.

PS: This message has not been composed to make you fear your microwave. Microwaves are very valuable tools, when used with the proper precautions.

PPS:"Take a stick of bamboo, take a stick of bamboo, take a stick of bamboo and throw it in the water." (Just be careful that your water is not superheated to the point that throwing the stick of bamboo into the water will cause a disasterous explosion. But if your water is superheated to that point, be sure that you're actually THROWING the stick of bamboo into the water so as not to have your face or body over the water when the bamboo actually makes contact. Otherwise, be prepared for serious red marks that hurt.)

Congratulations to all who won. You win a stick of bamboo from Chad and a glass of hot water from D. Only redeemable in person; offer expires 6 April 2005.


;)
- D


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