Marriage
of Bracha
and Andy

Abstract

Bracha, the daughter of Rabbi Yossi and Rochel Kenigsberg, comes from Elizabeth, NJ.

She has five siblings: three sisters, Chaya, Shira, and Tehila, and two brothers, Eliyahu and Akiva.

Bracha will begin a pediatrics residency in June 2007 and has altruistically agreed to stay in New York with Andy.

Andy, the son of David and Beryl Goldsweig, comes from Farmington Hills, MI.

Bracha and Andy got engaged on a canoe trip in Algonquin Park, Ontario. They celebrated with champagne and s'mores.

More pictures can be found in the Supplementary Materials.

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Pre-Wedding Rituals
Traditional Ashkenazi Jewish wedding rituals begin one week before the wedding day. For the entire week preceding the wedding, Bracha and Andy do not see each other at all. Bracha believes that this custom can be explained by the aphorism, "Absence makes the heart grow fonder." Andy believes that this custom can be explained by the aphorism, "What she doesn't know can't hurt her."

On the Saturday preceding the wedding, Bracha celebrates her שבת כלה (Shabat kalah, bride's Sabbath) and Andy celebrates his שבת חתן (Shabat hatan, groom's Sabbath). They both spend the day sharing festive meals with close friends and family. In synagogue, Andy is honored with an אופרוף (aufrauf, calling out), a special pre-wedding עליה (aliyah, ascent) to the תורה (Torah) after which the congregation throws candy to wish him a sweet marrriage.

On the evening before the wedding, Bracha immerses herself in a מקוה (mikveh, ritual bath). Immersion in the mikveh symbolizes spiritual rebirth, purity, and ritual cleanliness. Bracha believes that musings about the physical cleanliness of the מקוה (mikveh, ritual bath) are in poor taste.

Receptions
Festivities on the wedding day itself commence with two separate receptions, the קבלת פנים (kabalat panim, introductory receptions). In one room, the guests greet Bracha and her bridesmaids amidst music and hors d'oeuvres. Bracha looks at the hors d'oeuvres longingly because the wedding day is a personal Yom Kippur for the bride and groom: they fast from the previous sundown until the ceremony to atone for their personal sins, especially those of yesternight.

Andy holds a parallel חתנס טיש (hatans tish, groom's reception) at which the official wedding business occurs. The first document signed is the engagement contract, the תנאיים (t'nayim, conditions). Together, Bracha's and Andy's mothers celebrate the newly vacated seats at their dinner tables by breaking a plate. Since the plate-breaking cannot be undone, so too, the signed agreement should be final, and the kids should move out already.

Then comes the signing of the כתובה (k'tubah, marriage contract), amidst the singing of the groomsmen and guests. As the only sober man present, Andy tries to give a brief דבר תורה (d'var torah, Torah thought), but those present prolong his talk by constantly interrupting him with traditional Hebrew wedding songs.

באדעקען (Badeken, Veiling)
Remembering the biblical substitution of Leah for Rachel in marriage to Jacob, Andy must verify his bride's identity. Led by his singing entourage, he approaches the bride, makes sure she is Bracha, and veils her for the ceremony. As the couple have not seen each other during the previous week, the badeken is a moment of happy reunion.

Procession
The actual ceremony begins with a procession of family and friends. This was originally a gentile custom, like drinking scotch and playing golf. The groomsmen lead the way, followed by Andy, escorted by his parents. Andy is greeted "ברוך הבא," bless you. As the wedding day is a personal Yom Kippur, Andy dons a קיטל (kitel, robe), the white garment of purity associated with such a day. Some chauvinistically joke that wearing this garment at a wedding likens marriage to death because the קיטל (kitel, robe) is also the attire of burial, but Andy would never make such an intimation. He is getting married in a bathrobe so that everyone is acutely cognisant of the fact that he DID remember to shower today.

The bridesmaids and Bracha's siblings march next. Finally, Bracha enters, escorted by her parents. She also gets a "ברוכה הבאה," bless you, although neither she nor Andy has sneezed. The ceremony occurs under a חופה (hupah, canopy) formed by a טלית (talit, prayer shawl) and four poles. In the future, Andy will wear this טלית (talit, prayer shawl) daily during morning services. The חופה (hupah, canopy) symbolizes the new home that Bracha and Andy will build together. Faced with medical school debts, their first home lacks walls and has to be supported by friends.

ארוסין (Eirusin, Betrothal)
When Bracha reaches the חופה (hupah, canopy), she circles Andy seven times, guided by both her and Andy's mothers. Andy looks nervous because he's thinking about what happened to the people who got circled seven times in Joshua 6. Actually, though, the number seven symbolizes completion and perfection in Judaism. Seven represents the days of creation, the weeks of the Omer, the years of Shmita, the Noachide Laws, the years of Jacob's work for each of his wives, the cows and sheaves of Pharoah's dream, the gates of Jerusalem and the Temple, the direct dialing code for Russia and Kazakhstan, and the smallest integer that cannot be represented as a sum of fewer than four non-zero squares.

Rabbi Kenigsberg makes the ארוסין (eirusin, betrothal) blessings over a cup of wine. This blessing thanks G-d for His commandments regarding forbidden unions: the boy can't already be married, and he can't be the girl's blood relative. Regarding forbidden unions, G-d's qualifications for the boy seem to be much more lenient than any prospective in-laws'.

Andy acquires Bracha as his bride by giving her an object of value. While a ring is customary, any object of adequate value would suffice, for example a milk-cow, an autographed baseball card, or a driving mower. The symbolism of the ring is two-fold. First, a ring has the form of a link in a chain. This symbolizes that marriage chains a man down and deprives him of his liberty. Second, the ring is a circle that has no beginning and no end, which is how marriage feels after a couple of years.

When Bracha accepts the ring, she makes the שהחינו (she-heheyanu, Who has made us live) blessing thanking G-d for bringing her to this point in time. While she makes the blessing specifically about the new jewelry she is receiving, she also has in mind the new marriage she is beginning.

כתובה (K'tubah, Marriage Contract)
At this point, the text of the כתובה (k'tubah, marriage contract) is read aloud for all to hear. This contract stipulates the groom's financial and emotional responsibilities to his bride. Like all contracts, the k'tubah is a dry legal text, somewhat lacking in entertainment value. Furthermore, the k'tubah's text is very ancient as is evidenced by its being written in 3rd century Aramaic. Jesus and Mel Gibson speak Aramaic, but since they are not wedding guests, the k'tubah reading may be under-appreciated.

After the k'tubah reading, Andy hands the document to Bracha, formalizing the agreement.

Sermon
In Talmudic times, the two halves of the wedding ceremony were separated by a period of one year. Like all contemporary couples, Bracha and Andy are eager to get on with things, so their two ceremony segments will be separated only by a mushy wedding sermon. It just seems like it's a year.

נסוין (Nisuin, Nuptials)
The Nissuin portion of the wedding begins with the שבע ברכות (sheva brahot, seven blessings) over another cup of wine. These blessings thank G-d for the happiness associated with matrimony.

The שבע ברכות (sheva brahot, seven blessings) are traditionally made by important, scholarly men with bushy, rabbinic beards. Accordingly, Bracha and Andy have attempted to select rabbinic-looking men from among their friends and family. Women do not make sheva brahot because they are generally not adequately hirsute.

After the sheva brahot expressing gratitude to G-d, a member of the hereditary priestly class invokes blessing for the couple through the ברכת כהנים (birkat kohanim, priests' blessing). He raises his hands, something he must have learned from watching too much Star Trek, and pronounces the blessing of Numbers 6:24-26 upon Andy and Bracha.

Breaking a Glass
Finally, with its keen sense of irony, Jewish tradition reminds the newlyweds that, until Jerusalem is rebuilt and the Likud returned to power, their happiness cannot be complete. In order to introduce some unhappiness into the proceedings, the groom promises to remember the devastation of Jerusalem, quoting a passage from Psalm 137. Then, he breaks a glass, an act symbolic of the Temples' destruction. After the glass is broken, cheering and applause erupt, an expression of joy that the Messiah has not yet come, allowing everyone to continue living in Manhattan.

יחוד (Yihud, Seclusion)
Bracha and Andy begin their married life with a few moments of privacy. Two witnesses ensure that the newlyweds are not disturbed. The subject of yihud permits all sorts of inappropriate humor. Avoiding that avenue, did you hear about the frummie wedding in Boro Park last night? They even had separate yihud rooms!

סעודת מצוה (S'udat Mitzvah, Celebratory Meal)
The real celebration includes a festive meal and dancing. As Bracha and Andy are earthy-crunchy hippies, the meal is meat-free. Music will be played by the Nafshenu Orchestra. The dancing will include portions of traditional, gender-separate Hebrew boogies and portions of contemporary couples' struts. During the former portion, guests enhance the celebration with entertaining שטיק (shtik, piece) or comic gimmicks. Such comedy frequently includes acrobatic dancing, pantomime, and impersonation, and also may involve props brought for these purposes such as juggling balls, costumes/uniforms, logo clothing, or athletic equipment. Bracha hopes that Andy's friends are aware of the fine line that separates fun from tasteless. Andy hopes that his friends will use that line merely as a starting point.

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If, חס ושלום (has v'shalom, G-d forbid), the Messiah has not come by this date and time, the wedding will occur at an alternate location: the Doubletree Hotel, 200 Atrium Drive, Somerset, NJ 08873. Phone: (732) 469-2600, Fax: (732) 469-4617. The hotel is located approximately 1 hour's drive from Manhattan and 40 minutes' from EWR Newark Liberty Airport.

Doubletree Map

From Route I-287 South
Take exit 10 for Route 527 (New Brunswick/Easton Avenue). At the bottom of the exit ramp, get into the left lane and make a left turn. (Go under overpass of I-287). Go straight (bearing to the right) to the first traffic light and make a left onto Davidson Avenue. Continue on Davidson Avenue for one quarter mile and make a left into Atrium Corporate Park. Follow to the front entrance for the Doubletree Hotel and Executive Meeting Center.

From the new Jersey Turnpike
Take exit 10 for Metuchen/Edison to I-287 North. Take exit 10 for Route 527 (New Brunswick/Easton Avenue). Follow Route 527 North to the first traffic light and make a left onto Davidson Avenue. Continue on Davidson Avenue for one quarter mile and make a left into Atrium Corporate Park. Follow to the front entrance for the Doubletree Hotel and Executive Meeting Center.

From the Garden State Parkway North
Take exit 127 for I-287 North. Take exit 10 to Route 527 (New Brunswick/Easton Avenue). Follow Route 527 North to the first traffic light and make a left onto Davidson Avenue. Continue on Davidson Avenue for one quarter mile and make a left into Atrium Corporate Park. Follow to the front entrance for the Doubletree Hotel and Executive Meeting Center.

From the Garden State Parkway South
Take exit 129 for I-287 North. Take exit 10 to Route 527 (New Brunswick/Easton Avenue). Follow Route 527 North to the first traffic light and make a left onto Davidson Avenue. Continue on Davidson Avenue for one quarter mile and make a left into Atrium Corporate Park. Follow to the front entrance for the Doubletree Hotel and Executive Meeting Center.

From Northern New Jersey Via I-78
Take I-78 to I-287 South. Take exit 10 for Route 527 (New Brunswick/Easton Avenue). At the bottom of the exit ramp, get into the left lane and make a left turn. (Go under overpass of I-287). Go straight (bearing to the right) to the first traffic light and make a left onto Davidson Avenue. Continue on Davidson Avenue for one quarter mile and make a left into Atrium Corporate Park. Follow to the front entrance for the Doubletree Hotel & Executive Meeting Center.

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