Again, I would like to say I am very greatful to the author of this article.



                 POLYAMORY and GROUNDRULES


Any relationship, whether intimate or not, works within the
expectations and limitations of the parties involved.  Unmatched
expectations, limitations which are in conflict with the desires of
another party, lack of understanding about boundries and expectations
can destroy a relationship.

Monogamous relationships come with specific expectations concerning
outside relationships.  Those expectations and guidelines are pretty
clearly defined by our societal "rules" (i.e., just _don't_, in some
cases, don't even think about it!).  Polyamorous/non-monogamous
relationships, however, come with no culturally predefined rules.  The
rules have to be defined by the parties involved. 

Couples/Groups/Families who fail to do this have a harder time "playing
poly" since the expectations of the individuals may differ drastically
from each other, and from the group consensus.  I was lucky when I met
my sr husband to have developed some rules from past experiences.  I
was even luckier to know a fellow, experienced polyamorist when I met
my jr husband who helped us develop more.  (She also suggested we put
them in writing to clarify and make sure that we have fewer
misunderstandings.  I have not yet done so, but this is part of an
exercise in fulfilling that goal.)

On the assumption that we can all learn from each other, let's talk
about some of our "ground rules".  What are your family's ground rules?
(That is the first question asked newbies by people in our polytribe
when they are interested in pursuing a relationship.)

If you haven't started developing yours, think about it.