I took my pen out of my mouth and stared at what I had written, half-wondering how the words had gotten there.
I expect to see my husband's ghost before this weekend is out, but I'm not sure how. All I know is that I believe this to be true. He always kept his promises. And I expect him to keep this one.
How could I have fooled myself into believing this? These words sounded like the ravings of a woman who had lost touch with reality. But as I sat cross-legged in my tent, my flashlight spilling a pool of light onto the pages of my journal, another possibility came to mind. Maybe I would see Neil again. Whatever would come to be, I would know the answer before we had to go back home.
"Gabi, are you coming out or not?" Scotti yelled from the campfire.
I closed my journal and then shouted, "I'll be right out. Hold your horses!"
We had settled into the campground near North Brookfield earlier this afternoon. This was the first night of the long holiday weekend. My friends have watched me closely so far for fear that I might go off the deep end. They sensed something was amiss when I had asked them to come, but they hadn't confronted me yet.
Pulling my hair into a pony tail, I hold the hair in place with a scrunchy and then turn the flashlight off. Outside I heard John and Ricky laughing at Scotti. I decided to go out there before they called me again. I crawled out of my tent and took a deep breath of the night air. The wood thrown on the fire crackled and popped. A widow, like myself, couldn't have asked for a better night to see her husband's ghost.
Joyce came over to me and handed me a marshmallow on a stick. She then plopped in front of the fire and began toasting her marshmallow. Ricky saw this as his cue to come sit next to her. From far away we heard the sound of music playing and other campers settling in for the evening. The bugs were bad but if you sat close to the fire they stayed away.
Joyce leaned back against Ricky and said, "You know, we can't go to bed tonight without telling some stories around the fire."
"I thought you'd promised not to give any of your inspirational talks this weekend." Scotti joked.
Joyce retaliated by throwing a marshmallow at her. "No, I'm serious. We should get into the spirit of things - no pun intended."
John pulled his shirt over his head and said, "I could tell a story about the headless horseman."
"Boring!" Ricky reached closer to the fire as he held Joyce and continued to toast his marshmallow. "We want something better than that."
"I have a story to tell." I can't believe I said that. Everyone turned to look at me. Part of me just wanted to talk. To let it all out. To speak and be free.
"Is it scary?" Scotti asked. "We're a tough audience."
"I can't make any promises but I'll do my best." I ate my marshmallow and hoped the sugar rush would give me courage.
John pointed at me with open arms. "The floor's all yours."
My friends settled in around the fire and I shut my eyes. Part of me was afraid and didn't want this story to spill out. It might be too powerful for me. And if nothing happened this weekend, then I would have to face reality - that I might be crazy. The moment of decision had arrived. To speak or to keep silent.
I thought maybe that I just needed to let it all out. So I began.
"Once upon a time, there was a woman who lived in a small house with the man she loved. Magic filled their lives with goodness and joy. But a dark cloud descended upon them one night. They had gone to see the ballet and on the way home the roads were covered in black ice. But they took their time because they wanted to get home safe."
I knew Joyce and Scotti would be staring at me because they had heard this story before. So I looked up and saw that they were about to get up and try to stop me from talking. Instead I ignored them and kept on going. "To pass the time, they listened to some music and sang together. About two miles from their home, a pickup truck came speeding toward them. To avoid being hit, the husband veered off the road. But the truck hit them anyway and they tumbled down a hill and crashed into a tree. After several minutes, the wife woke up and cried for help. No one came. She learned later that the driver of the pickup truck was a young teenager who had panicked and driven away."
I felt Joyce's hand on mine, but I needed to continue so I pushed her hand away. "The wife gathered her wits and saw that her husband had been crushed by the tree. Blood flowed down his face. She tried to free him but the tree had smashed the windshield and pinned him to his seat. She prayed and cried, but no one heard her. Desperate, she tried to exit the car but it had fallen on its side and she couldn't escape. She felt her husband's pulse and watched him fade. Slowly. Slowly. His pulse faded. With blood smeared over her fingers, she whispered to him of her love, but he never answered. And then he was gone."
The fire crackled and I stared at Joyce and Scotti. Tears filled their eyes. Ricky and John were spellbound, waiting for me to continue. I coughed into my hand to deal with my shaking voice and then said, "After the husband had died, the wife continued to cry. From far away, she thought she heard sirens, but they were too late. And then, miraculously, her husband woke. For a moment, time appeared to stop. She saw his eyes flutter and then focus on her. Inside she felt a rush of happiness. She didn't know what to do so she brushed his bloodied hair from his face. His eyes opened wider and he reached for her. 'You must meet me next summer at the campground.'"
Shocked at hearing his voice, she shushed him and told him to rest. But he grabbed her hands and stared into her eyes. 'Promise me that you'll meet me at the Old Saw Mill campgrounds in North Brookfield, Massachusetts next Memorial weekend. Promise me!'"
She did not know what to say so she agreed. He smiled at her and then closed his eyes never to open them again."
I had finished my ghost story. No one moved. Ricky, who had only recently started dating Joyce, clapped his hands and said, "Come on, don't leave us hanging. Did she ever go?"
Scotti and Joyce glanced at each other in fear, ignoring Ricky's comment. John let go of Scotti and asked, "Is it true?"
Poor Ricky still looked lost.
I turned away and nodded. And then I couldn't hold it back. The sobs welled up within me and I cried. I cried until I couldn't breathe and my chest hurt. I didn't remember much after that. Scotti and Joyce calmed me down, gave me some raspberry schnapps, and then put me to bed. They all talked about me as I lay there in my sleeping bag. They debated if we should all go home but it was late and they agreed to let me rest. Joyce sat next to me for a while and then I fell asleep. I remembered someone pulling the sleeping bag up to my chin and that's all.
Hours later I woke to the sound of a gunshot. It sounded like a musket rifle being fired off during a colonial reenactment.
Outside by the fire I heard Ricky yell, "What the hell was that?"
My heart pounded in my chest and I tried to say something but I couldn't see what had happened. I wasn't reacting well under pressure. I zipped open the sleeping bag and sat up. Another shot followed and this one was much closer. Ricky screamed in pain and then I heard rustling outside. Loud bangs came from all around. I didn't know what to do. I froze.
And then a cold shadow fell over my tent and I heard both John and Ricky yelling. Something pushed at my tent and I covered my head. A growl, contained and controlled, ripped through the campground. Through the tent I could make out a shape. Tall and foreboding. Ricky began to pray. John lost it. He was sobbing. My heart beat faster and I felt cold. I couldn't move. I was so scared. The moment froze solid in reality. Everything felt too real. My fear would not leave me. I felt my legs shaking, I should move, should help them. I inched forward, pulled away the tent flap from the entrance, and then peered out. A tall bear of a man brandishing a musket rifle stood before the dying fire. I could see through him.
A shimmer of light outlined his body. He turned toward me and pointed. "Come with me." Deep and husky, his voice reverberated. Glancing out toward the ranger's station, he appeared distracted for a moment. Then he turned back. "Hurry."
From afar I could hear the sound of women crying and men fighting. And the terrible sound of a hundred wolves hunting as one. I sensed some great disturbance bounding toward our campsite. I stood up and almost fell back into the remains of my tent.
"Gabi, come with us." Joyce had wrapped her sleeping bag around herself and was running toward me.
The ghost of the bear man reloaded his musket. "Your friends are in danger. They must go."
I needed to act. I thought about Neil, my friends, and I just nodded. He pointed and said, "Run toward the lake. Do not stop until you are up to your waist in water."
Joyce yelled at me. "Gabi, we're not leaving you." Ricky and John looked happy to do just that. I knew I had no time to explain.
I pulled away. "I have to go and find Neil." And then I ran. I heard my friends calling after me but I kept running. What happened next is jumbled. The ghost finished loading his gun and he headed after me. I could hear my heavy breathing and felt sweat gathering on my brow. Up ahead I could see the lake shimmering in the moonlight. Pine needles stabbed through my socks into the soles of my feet.
"Run faster! It's almost here." The bear-like man shouted.
I glanced over my shoulder. I should never have done that. A wall of bright, blue light was rushing after me. The wind whipped and the smell of rain filled me up. My feet touched the soft mud of the shore and I felt the cool water around my ankles. I kept running for several seconds and then turned. Behind me the ghost of the tall bear man leveled his musket at a wolf. Black as coal, the wolf was on the other side of the blue energy wall. Without warning, the ghost fired his musket and the shot pierced the energy field and sank deep into the wolf's chest. It snarled and dripped blood onto the ground. Its shaped changed - wings grew from its back and horns protruded from its head. It looked like it would leap through the blue wall, but the musket shot appeared to have stalled it long enough.
The energy wall, blue like the twilight sky on a summer night, glowed and rushed past me. I fell back into the water and felt my skin dance and tingle. A whoosh of air whipped past me and the sounds from the ranger's station faded. A dividing wall opened between us and the past. I slipped through. A crack in time that enveloped me and pulled me back. Away from the wolf creature and my friends. My hair wrapped about my face and I sunk deeper into the water feeling time wash over me like rain. I don't know how long this feeling lasted, but I fought my way to the surface and took a breath of air. I remembered being helped to the shore, seeing the moon hang low on the horizon, and then nothing.
Later I awoke still feeling tired. I sat up in a makeshift cot and looked around the room. Light from sunset came in through a window on my right. No other light illuminated the room. I did not see lamps or light switches. A small writing desk and a chair were the extent to the room's furnishings. I walked to the door and could hear voices from downstairs. Still confused and unsure as to my surroundings, I cracked the door open and listened.
The bear-like man who helped me at the campsite said, "She will want to know what happened and how she can return home."
Another man, younger, with a soft voice replied, "Yes, I know. Has she asked about him?"
"No. But we must tell her soon."
"I think she has had enough rest. She does not have much time." The younger man said.
I rushed back to my cot and pretended to be asleep. I didn't know what to think. Were they talking about Neil? Could he be involved in all this? Before I could think any further, the door opened and the bear-like man strode in. Tall, bearded, and menacing, he carried a lamp and placed it on the writing desk. The light flickered and I saw a younger man enter.
I sat up and waited.
"My name is William Woodbridge. Same as Pa here." His accent sounded unusual. The young man pulled the chair over to her cot and sat down. Seeing that I wasn't responding, he folded his arms across his chest and asked, "How do you feel?"
"Look, I don't understand what is happening." I pointed around the room. "Where the hell am I?"
William looked back toward his father and Pa nodded. Folding his hands in his lap, he let his hair fall off his shoulders and coughed. "You are in the New World during the reign of his majesty King George the Second."
"What are you talking about?" Panic began to set in so I blocked all of this out. I needed to know more important things. "Does this have anything to do with my husband?"
Pa came forward and crossed his arms across his chest. "A man from your time came to our manor days ago. He claimed to know about our family's curse and promised he had found a way to escape old Scratch's wolf."
My head hurt and I wanted to go home. "Can you lead me to him?"
William leaned forward and I saw sorrow in his face. "We tried to stop him, but he ran off and we fear the wolf has captured him like the others." I started to protest but Pa bent down and said, "The wolf is a curse placed on my family many years ago. If we leave this manor after dark, it will come and attack."
"I have to find my husband." I needed to make them understand. Everything was happening too fast. Things just weren't making much sense. I felt lost. "Why are you holding me here?"
"We are protecting you. We saved you from the wolf. Please, try and understand." William tried to touch my hand.
I pulled away from him and lashed out. "Understand? Are you crazy? You're telling me that I've traveled back in time and some wolf creature is eating people. What kind of story is that?" I jumped up and ran to the door. "Let me out of here."
I slipped past William but Pa blocked the door. Crying, I punched at his chest, but he grabbed my hands and held me. "Woman, calm yourself." His controlled anger bubbled to the surface.
"Pa, let her go. She's confused and tired." William pulled Pa's hands away and I backed into a corner.
I could not stop crying. "I don't understand. What is happening?" I slid to the floor and felt all my fears rise to the surface. I stared into Pa's eyes. "My husband died and now there might be a chance for me to find him again. I cannot lose that. I must try. Can you understand that?"
When Pa heard my sobs, I could see a piece of him softening inside. He bent down to help me up and walked me over to the cot. "Yes, I do understand. Years ago I crossed the path of a woman. She tried to seduce me after my wife had died giving birth to William here. But I refused to be with her. When William was of age, the woman came back dying of a sickness. She told us that she had bargained with the devil to place a curse on our entire family. As each member of our family died, they would return to this manor to be chased down by the devil's wolf for the rest of the earth's years. After she told us of the curse, she left and we never saw her again."
I could see the sorrow in his eyes. Pa looked away for a moment. "At first my son and I thought the ramblings were of a crazy woman. But we realized that we did not grow any older and the seasons did not change. We did not become sick or need to eat. Nothing could harm us. And that first night that the wolf came, we will never forget."
Pa's voice faded off into silence. His son put his arm around his father and said, "You are the first and only person who has not been taken by the wolf. All the others - my Uncles, Aunts, and cousins - were captured by the wolf and imprisoned in the forest."
"Is this what has happened to my husband?" I did not know what to feel anymore. I felt numb.
"Yes." William fell silent.
Pa stood up and moved across the room. "You must get some rest. I will bring you some food and in the morning we will take you to the forest by the river. At night, you would not be safe."
I nodded. The sun had set and I still felt weak. Where did I think I could go without light, a path, or their help? I lay back down, pulled the wool blanket up over me and watched as father and son left the room. None of this made sense. Rational thought kept picking away at my situation. I kept wondering if I were insane. Would I know if I had lost my mind? Maybe I only thought I saw what was around me. With these thoughts swirling in my head, I saw my husband on the other side of a raging river. He tried to make me leave, but I would not go. And with those visions in my head, I fell asleep.
When I awoke, I smelled roasted meat and potatoes. I could see that it was late. I could hear crickets and the sound of a summer breeze blowing through the trees. Getting up, I sat at the writing desk and ate the food that had been left for me. Too much had happened. Part of me believed that this whole thing was some sort of hoax. Yet as I looked around the room, I could see from the workmanship of the chairs, desk, and bowl that these items were authentic.
I finished my meal and went to the window. There was no glass. I pulled the shutters back and stared into the darkness. Out there a crazy witch had cursed my husband's family. I almost laughed. It seemed so implausible. But I found myself wanting to believe. If even there was only a chance in hell that I could find Neil again, I had to try. In that moment, I knew what I would do.
I opened the door and crept down the stairs. I would leave Pa and William and find Neil on my own. I could not wait. Some instinct inside spoke to me. At the bottom of the stairs, I walked through a kitchen area and saw the remnants of a fire in the chimney. The door to the outside was only a few feet away. But I stopped.
Pa, sitting in the shadows, stood up. "Before you go, you might wish to put on these." He threw a pair of woman's boots at me.
I caught them and did not say anything.
"They were my wife's. They might be too large, but you'll need them for the walk."
"Thank you."
"William, time to go." Pa walked past me and headed outside.
His son came into the room and handed me a cloak. "We didn't think you'd take this long to leave." He smiled at me.
"I never knew I was that predictable." I put the boots on and wrapped the cloak around me.
I stepped outside and felt a light drizzle on my face. Pa and William stood on either side of me with their muskets shouldered - loaded and ready. Pa looked back and said, "Do you understand that once we head out there is no turning back?"
"Yes, I understand." The rain began to pick up.
"William and I have never been harmed by the wolf. We think the witch wants us unharmed so we're forced to watch our family suffer. But you can be caught and captured."
I nodded and felt it best to move on. I didn't want to second guess myself. My husband would have said that it's my temper. I refused to give in. We started off and in several minutes I could no longer see the manor behind us. Any minute I expected the wolf to leap out and attack us.
"Pa, tell me about that wall of light that brought me here." The somber feeling among us was too heavy. I wanted to hear his voice.
He scanned the trees in front of us and replied, "Each time one of my relatives arrives here, the wall appears. William and I don't understand how the devil magic works, but we have been able to enter it several times. That is how we found you. But each time the wall appears, the wolf is sure to come."
I nodded and fell silent to cover my fear. William kept a lookout behind us. The woods were ahead. Dark and looming. I could feel the rain teaming off of my clothes, running into the earth. Ahead, the wood became alive with hundreds of fireflies. Twinkling yellow in the darkness, they represented hope to me. We walked on without speaking. A long time later I could hear the sound of a river. Its voice spoke above the rain. All my life I had worked hard, fought for what I believed in, but this experience was beyond me. I acted on instinct and it would have to be enough.
Pa nodded to William and I tensed. They readied their muskets and walked toward the small patch of woods. I saw the trees and froze. Each tree contained a life. Tall, disfigured, and wild, the dark shapes pulled at the earth and tried to graze the sky. The first tree contained the spirit of a young child. I could see through the bark, her skin pressed against the tree's sides. Scratching at the living wood, her fingers bled and her face ached for release. She saw me and I will never forget her eyes. Terrified. Animal like. Her anguished cry echoed into the night and the rain came down harder. In the dark, the tree's sap resembled blood, flowing down the sides. The wind picked up and the tree swayed. The trapped child cried and her eyes stared at me. Bore into me. She wanted release. I could feel her life-force, her spirit, caged, and in torment. Pa put his hand on my shoulder and we moved on. The next three trees, bent and wispy, were some of the old family. Their legs crippled and broken. Bones protruded from their skin into the bark of the tree. Their desire for escape had caused them to sacrifice their damned bodies, trying to cut through the tree with their own bone. The trees held firm and both the trapped spirit body and the tree suffered. Flesh had cut through bark and wood grew through skin. Mouths twisted and alien, their inhuman moans ripped into my head. I saw their fingers scribbling marks of pain and endings.
Their force, contained upon themselves, compounded until their screams set off their fellow spirits. Then I saw him. Not fully encased in the tree, his legs flailed. My husband. My Neil. I ran to the tree and touched his bare feet. Their coldness woke me from my fear. I pounded against the tree but my hands caught on the bark and began to bleed. I screamed at the tree, clawing at it. Neil's face captured inside. The tree bent over me and its limbs swayed across my face. Neil's pain enveloped me. I could hear him speaking. Go help us before it's too late. You must stop this pain. The rain fell like anger. Hitting the trees, weighing down all our sins. Hands grabbed me from behind and I was dragged from the rest of the woods. What did he want me to do? I collapsed to the ground and vomited onto the earth. The smell sickened me and I felt pulled apart inside.
I glanced up at William's stone-like face. So different than those of the suffering spirits behind us. Pa and William pulled me to my feet.
"There's nothing we can do to rescue them. We should go back." Pa's voice outdid the rain. I nodded and we pushed through the last of the brush that lead up to the river. We three stood in the downpour. I turned my face up to the sky and felt the cold rain wash my face. I needed time to think of a plan. My tears were cleansed but I could not stop my body from shaking. Pa and William held their rifles steady, hoping I would regain my strength soon so we could head back. I wiped by face and stared out into the river. On the other side, I glimpsed a twinkle of blue light. The light coalesced and joined, forming a barrier.
"Watch out!" William knocked me to the ground and I saw the wolf coming at me. It had sprung out of the ground with its stench close in the wet air.
Pa fired his musket and the sound rang out, echoing across the river. The noise hit the wall of light and I felt its call. My husband suffered in the wood behind me. His spirit caught, trapped, aching for freedom. The wall rushed at me and William fired his musket into the wolf's mouth. The hellion fell back and I got up and began to scream at it. Clenching a handful of mud, I threw it at its eyes.
Pretending to be wounded, the beast avoided the mud and then leapt at me. From behind, blue light surrounded me and I felt myself being pulled away. Pa and William tried to help, but the wolf and I disappeared. I traveled forward in time. Ripples in sound, the rain dried and I faded away from the riverbank. But this time, I felt Neil's presence guiding me toward a light. I swam through, listening to voices of spirits as I passed by. The light faded and I found darkness around me. At first I did not recognize my surroundings. But my eyesight cleared and I saw my old dorm building and a large banner that announced the sleep out for the homeless taking place on May 5th, 1992. I had been brought back to my college days at Villanova University.
And if I guessed right, then it was the day that my friendship with Neil turned into something more. Why had he wanted me back here? Thinking of him, I turned and saw his spirit floating beside me. He smiled. We stared at the fallen leaves and memories came flooding back. The windy day. The smell of fall in the air. Neil's spirit pointed to me. You must stop us from meeting. This sacrifice will break the curse.
His spirit pulsed and I saw a younger version of him walking down a path from his dorm. Now I remembered. Up ahead at the St. Augustine building I would be coming out of my English class. He would come up to me, unannounced, playing his Walkman. Back then he owned a radio that could hold two sets of earphones. He'd sneak up to me, put the pair of earphones onto my head, and then shush me. And I would hear the music. Dream a Little Dream. Our song.
I'll never forget his smile that day. Or how Ella Fitzgerald's voice echoed through my head and he bowed to me with his Walkman clipped to his belt. His wavy hair blew in the wind as he put his arm out to me. To dance. Would I dance with him? He used no words. Only his body spoke. And I laughed. He kept his arm out and I took his hand. He swept me off my feet. Later he told me how he had taken dance lessons just to get it right. We twirled around he and I. In the leaves, the sun on our faces, and the wind in our hair.
His ghost stood next to me. You must sacrifice this or we will all suffer for eternity. I thought of the consequences, of his love, and my heart. How he had comforted me in our time together. How we grew to be partners. Loving partners. The thoughts welled up inside me. Neil's spirit pointed and his face began to contort. The curse is pulling me back. Hurry!
Yet I had fought all my life to follow what was true. I saw his younger self waiting for me to pass. It would be so easy. I would simply need to float up to my younger self and whisper to her to go back inside to speak to a professor. The time would pass and it would be enough.
Neil's spirit smiled as it saw my decision. I went to my younger self and hovered beside her. I knew who I was. Who I would become. I saw Neil's ghost pointing at me to continue. I nodded and with all the force I could muster I implored, "Run to him. Run to him and never let him go!" My younger self smiled and turned back to me. We stared at each other for a moment and she walked on.
The young Neil came up to us and he walked through me. He couldn't see me as I was. He put the earphones on my younger self and I caught a bit of the music. The music flushed out, wrapped me in its joy, and I turned back. Neil's spirit melted away and only the wolf remained. The wolf changed again into an old woman. A witch whose curse was broken.
She hissed and tried to claw at me. I stood beside the young couple and felt their joy. Their happiness. There was nothing she could do to me now. We had won. I would not sacrifice the truth. The witch hit the light surrounding us and screamed in pain. I felt the love circle her and wash her away. Struggling against the light, the old woman fell back to darkness. And I stayed until the wall of time pulled me back. Me watching us. So happy, so right. The wall of energy encased me in itself and pulled me to the present. The trip felt exhilarating. I fell to the ground and smelled the musty odor of my tent. My eyes still shut, afraid of where I would be, I reached out and felt a book. Opening my eyes, I read the last few lines to what I had written.
I expect to see my husband's ghost before this weekend is out, but I'm not sure how. All I know is that I believe this to be true. He always kept his promises. And I expect him to keep this one.
"Gabi, are you coming out or not?" Scotti yelled from her tent.
I closed my journal and shouted, "I'll be right out. Hold your horses!"
Soon it would be my time to tell a ghost story. I walked outside and saw my friends. Ricky and John were still tinkering with the fire. And Joyce would be getting the marshmallows. I stared up at the trees and saw the spirits inside them. The white light of their joy shone forth. Off to the right, Pa and William stood side by side. They placed their muskets on the ground and smiled. And they reached up. From within each tree that surrounded the campfire, I saw a spirit emerge and stretch toward the sky.
Walking behind Pa, young and handsome as ever, was my Neil. An immense joy overcame me. His grin caught my heart. I felt a tug of sorrow but then each spirit lifted to the sky. Pa and William vanished with the rest and Neil bowed to me. He reached his hand out for our dance. I smiled and tears came to my eyes. His hand still extended, he vanished up into the sky.
Our dance would have to wait. But he had all the time in the world and I needed to finish mine here. He would wait for me and I would come to him with stories and songs and our love. Always our love.
Ron Vitale lives right outside of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, where he works as a Manager of Internet Services by day and a writer in the time he has remaining--when he's not learning how to be a father to a rather curious seven-month year old. His story "Such Sinners We Are" appeared in Welcome to Nod and "Fires in the Sky" appeared in Wizards of the Coast's Dragonlance: Legends of the Lance periodical. To learn more about Ron Vitale, drop him an e-mail (mohanron@speakeasy.net) or visit his Website (http://www.losoil.com).
© Ron Vitale
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