The Physics of the Jiggle 
The math behind the games you love
By - Dave "Fargo" Kosak 

It's a fact that as game graphics and environments become more and more
realistic, more and more art resources are necessary to create them. No
wonder, then, that even the largest of game developers are beginning to
outsource individual art tasks to dedicated specialty businesses, similar
to "special effects" houses used in Hollywood. 

Sadly the work of many of these small studios goes unnoticed. It wasn't
until a brief email exchange with one Doctor Steven Moore that I got a
grasp of the real art and science that goes into the creation of, say, a
fighting game these days. Dr. Moore heads up the technology group at a
company called Texture and Animation Imaging in Hermosa Beach, California.
While not a game developer, the company has enhanced the character
animations for dozens of games over the past couple of years, with
fighting games as their specialty. In the interests of science Dr. Moore
allowed himself to be interviewed here. 

Fargo: Hello Dr. Moore! My understanding from our brief discussion earlier
is that your group is responsible for some of the animation in today's
games. Could you give me more details? 

Moore: That's right. Let's say you're making a fighting game such as Dead
or Alive 3, and -- for argument's sake -- your game is, as we like to say,
packed to the gills with the hooches. You would send your character models
and their fight poses over to us here at T&A Imaging and we'd apply our
advanced physics to various body parts, delivering you eye-popping
animations. 

Fargo: So, hang on, you do all the complete animations for the character
models in a game? 

Moore: Well, our staff is capable of doing that, but typically we just
animate certain fleshy parts of the anatomy. See, the current generation
of computer 3D animation software has processes and shortcuts in place to
render joints and bones and linear movement like that, but there's no
simple way to capture the jauncy bounces of succulent fleshy bits, so ripe
and firm you just want to take them in your mouth and suckle 'em like a
creamy choc-o-pop. 

Fargo: You lost me, Doctor. Are you saying you just animate ... breasts? 

Moore: We like to use the term "gazongas." But that would be an
oversimplification. We also do up butts real good. It's the next great
frontier in fighting game technology. 

Fargo: But how difficult could that be? Why couldn't the work be done
in-house? 

Moore: As I said, the tools aren't there. An artist could work for a month
trying to animate a firm C-cup and not get it right. And, a double-D
behaves tremendously different in a midriff tank-top than it would in a
tight tube-top -- try it someday! Can you draw for me the difference
between the bounce of a B-cup in a moist tee-shirt vs. an A-cup that's
using a wonderbra? You need expert physicists to unravel these mysteries. 

Fargo: Physics? 

Moore: Right. That's our specialty: Applied anatomical physics. For
example, take a good look at this picture of a woman endowed with a
tremendous set of martial arts abilities. 

Fargo: I find it difficult not to. 

Moore: Good. Now, as she bends down to make her move, you can see several
forces being applied to her plump, firm, ripened melons. And there's
inertia to consider, plus the make and cut of the fabric and, of course,
the cold weather. Newton's second law tells us how to calculate the
acceleration of a body once we know the forces acting on it. The forces
may vary as the body moves, but, provided we can write explicit
expressions for how the forces vary with time, position, tautness, and
velocity, we can determine the delicious acceleration of the body at every
point during its motion, as well as whether or not it will "pop out,"
jeopardizing the game's rating. See here: 

Moore: Now all we need to do to locate the body at any given point in time
is to simply substitute the appropriate data into the kinematic equations.
Here at T&A Imaging we've put together formulae for everything from
underwire bras to spandex. And I, personally, have put in hours and hours
of field research. As you can see from the final results, hard physics --
oh so very hard -- pays off again with the convincing illusion of mammary
motion like a delicious quivering zip-lock bag fulla chocolate puddin'. 

Fargo: Impressive. 

Moore: I'm typing with one hand! 

Fargo: Certainly this can't be the whole basis for your business model? 

Moore: No, as our name implies, T&A Imaging also services firm butts. You
would think that tight buttocks shoved into denim wouldn't jiggle when
dropping into a fighting stance but you'd be amazed what our scientists
came up with. The radial component of the force provides the centripetal
acceleration, and this makes the frictional force in the tangential
equation velocity-dependent; we like to call this "getting down in the
juice all oompah-loopah style." Take a good look at this picture: 

Fargo: ...and what can we conclude from this? 

Moore: What? Oh, nothing at all, I just wanted to look at it. 

Fargo: In your expert opinion, what do you think is the future of this
science that you've devised? 

Moore: Oh you haven't seen anything yet! Zoomers and money-makers are only
the beginning. We've got a division right now working on panty-lines. It's
not more than three years before you'll play fighting games where you can
see panty lines that actually traverse the buttock during combat, giving
the combatant a true-to-life wedgie. The technology is within groping
distance! 

Fargo: Have you ever touched a girl? 

Moore: ...no. 


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