Friday February 1 5:28 PM ET 

Men Paying on Dates: Women Love It, Men Less Sure
By E. J. Mundell

SAVANNAH, Georgia (Reuters Health) - ``I'll get that'': those three little 
words may be music to many women's ears, but preliminary research suggests 
men may be a bit more cynical about picking up the tab.

After viewing a video in which a man pays for his date's dinner, most 
college-age women took it to be a sign that he was more ``respectful'' and 
``romantically attracted'' to the woman in question, researchers report.

However, a group of young men watching the same interaction ''saw this guy 
as less respectful to the woman, less respectable himself,'' said study 
author Bill Altermatt, of the University of Michigan-Flint. He speculates 
that men may be more mistrustful than women regarding the motives that 
drive guys to spring for a meal.

The findings were presented here Friday at the annual meeting of the 
Society for Personality and Social Psychology.

Speaking with Reuters Health, Altermatt described the tradition of the 
male picking up the tab as just one part of the ``chivalry script,'' a 
ritual stretching back to ``the origins of courting in the United States, 
when men had jobs and women didn't.'' Previous study has suggested that 
other parts of this ''script''--pulling out chairs, holding doors, 
offering coats--are still viewed positively by men and women alike.

In their recent experiment, Altermatt and his colleagues exposed 35 
undergraduates to two videotaped ``dates.'' The dates were identical in 
all but one respect--in one date the man paid the bill, and in the other 
the couple split the cost 50-50.

Women typically gave the man higher marks when he sprang for the meal, 
labeling him kind, respectful and polite--''a gentleman.''

Men were more negative in their reaction.

``I've got to follow this up with some research to find out,'' Altermatt 
said, ``but my theory is that because men are the ones (typically) 
initiating this behavior, they might have--I'd hate to say it--some 
insight into some of the motivations that might be behind it. Perhaps they 
are seeing his behavior as a little more strategic.''

He cautioned that the study sample size was far too small to draw the 
conclusion that women are naive and men cynical when it comes to paying 
the bill. But research suggests that the deference paid to women during 
courtship can be a double-edged sword.

``The take-home message is that chivalry is both good and bad,'' Altermatt 
said. ``Chivalry is related to both the stereotype that women are more 
virtuous than men, but also that women are less competent and powerful 
than men,'' and in need of their assistance, financial and otherwise.

So if chivalry isn't dead, should it be killed off? ``My hope is that 
there are some parts of the chivalry script that can be salvaged,'' the 
Michigan researcher said. ``While some parts might be bad--undermining 
women's independence--some parts might be fine. Holding the chair might be 
fine. We don't know yet. Maybe we can preserve the romantic script without 
undermining a woman's independence.'' 

Copyright 2002 Reuters Limited