An analysis of a jokeThe following old joke regularly makes the rounds:
Q: Why is sex like a game of bridge? (Or, why is bridge like sex?)
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S - 85 H - 643 D - 9532 C - 7643
S - AKJ6 | Against competent opponents these two hands together will take only seven or eight tricks with normal breaks, although one of the players has a fantastic hand. The player with all the high cards will be severely tempted to bid too high. |
S - QJ643 H - 5 D - KJT852 C - 7
S - AK852 | These two hands will most likely take eleven tricks with either spades or diamonds as trump. Yet one player has only 13 points and the other has 7. And on this same one, the opponents might make eleven or twelve tricks with hearts or clubs as trump. If both partnerships are competent bidders, the bidding will probably be an intense battle here. |
Good communication in the dialogue reveals when something is going to happen, or when it isn't. Each player can express wishes and make some suggestions, but there has to be good consent for many tricks to be taken. If both partners bid competently, knowing "when to hold 'em and when to fold 'em" (as Kenny Rogers sang it), that's far more effective than merely bidding solo what look in isolation like good cards.
So, the punch line could be this, and it might be a better joke:
Here's another example:
If partner has:
S - AK754
H - AQJ63
D - none
C - K85it is far better to have:
S - JT9632
H - 7
D - 8532
C - AQ(your partnership can make 7 spades, all thirteen tricks)
than to have:
S - J3
H - 74
D - AKQJ73
C - 962(with normal luck, your partnership might make only seven or eight tricks at spades or diamonds; maybe nine against bad defense)
The punch line could be:
And one more example:
Suppose my partner opened the bidding with 2 hearts (playing reasonably disciplined weak 2-bids)...
if I held:
S - AQ85
H - 7
D - KJ52
C - KQ42,I would pass and expect partner to get set, or barely make it with good luck. There's nothing I can do even though my cards look pretty good in isolation. Partner's bidding has told me that my contribution is not going to be satisfactory this time; I might as well not even take it further than this. Maybe the opponents will bid something, to their own peril.
but if I held:
S - 93
H - KJ753
D - AJ8642
C - none,I would bid 5 hearts immediately! Maybe partner will make it, or maybe we've just talked the opponents out of bidding and making 6 clubs or 6 spades, or surely at least 4 spades. No matter how good the opponents are, they've got a problem. (If the bidding is already at 5 hearts before the player on my left gets to say anything, the opponents are going to have a rough time figuring out what they've got. They might just pass and lose the good score they could potentially make. Or they might double us when we're making it. Or they might guess wrong and bid too much, and we'll set them on an occasion when we couldn't make 5 hearts anyway.) In any case, we have a terrific chance at obtaining a good score out of whatever the fates have dealt us on this hand. As the Gershwins put it, "Who could ask for anything more?"
So, the punch line could be as follows:
I know, I know, it's certainly possible to pick up a hand where partner's contribution is truly irrelevant.
S - AKQJT98765just open the bidding with 7NT and claim. But there's no skill in that; any dolt could get the same score with those cards! What virtue is there in such a hand, other than a momentary thrill?
H - A
D - A
C - A:
The bridge literature about squeezes, strips, and dummy reversals is too extensive to cite here. Those techniques could also lead to good punch lines.