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A flat line is a real drag.

Most people don't seem to realize what a pain in the butt it is for EMS personnel when a patient expires in our care. There's more than just the cleanup; the ambulance has to be sprayed with Lysol, paperwork needs to be filed, then there's the replacement of supplies and a lot of washing of hands. And of course, no one ever wants to pay for our services in lieu of a patient (if your loved one dies in our truck, of course we'll give you a full refund. We'll be pissed about it, but we'll do it).

So don't worry. As much of a pain as it would be for you to lose your significant other, it would be quite a hassle for us, too. We don't need that kind of trouble.

Smithson Ambulance Services. We avoid death.


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If I Had a Porch
1995 John Cady & his Lounge Life Press
Knowledgeable about the plight of skeet? Write to me: bing@umich.edu