At this time, we need your opinion on a few things.

Please fill this survey as quickly as possible, without missing any questions. It is intended as a measure of your personal sophistication, and as such will indicate your relative worth compared to others.

Thanks for taking the time. Please send your responses through U.S. mail, in care of your postmaster (I've spoken with her, and she'll pass them on to me). You should receive your scores in 4-6 weeks and then feel better or worse about yourself, accordingly.
This page is sponsored by

A flat line is a real drag.

Most people don't seem to realize what a pain in the butt it is for EMS personnel when a patient expires in our care. There's more than just the cleanup; the ambulance has to be sprayed with Lysol, paperwork needs to be filed, then there's the replacement of supplies and a lot of washing of hands. And of course, no one ever wants to pay for our services in lieu of a patient (if your loved one dies in our truck, of course we'll give you a full refund. We'll be pissed about it, but we'll do it).

So don't worry. As much of a pain as it would be for you to lose your significant other, it would be quite a hassle for us, too. We don't need that kind of trouble.

Smithson Ambulance Services. We avoid death.

[Mush!|Back!|where's the Table of Contents?]
If I Had a Porch
1995 John Cady & his Lounge Life Press
Knowledgeable about the plight of skeet? Write to me: