SMF seeks SFF for spawning, maybe more

This classified ad is sponsored by

Get yer fresh bowling balls!

Haven't you ever wanted to hurl a fresh cantaloupe down the lanes? Well then try our new Earl Anthony Series Cantaloupe® hurlers. They look and smell just like real cantaloupes, but you can bowl with them. And what's more, they never go bad.

How about serving up a Honey Dew volleyball? There's nothing like a citrus slam to weaken your opponents' resolve. Our Navel Orange baseballs are a winner with the kids, and they're non-toxic and unpeelable. And Nectarine golf balls make a hit on any course. If you lose your ball, just follow the scent of ripe, luscious nectarines!

Try out our complete line of sporting equipment. Each comes with its very own supply of appropriate juice. So next time you hit a Grapefruit softball and give your friends a faceful of juice, you can tell them it's Fresh Fruit® juice.

Fresh Fruit Sports Equipment. We're always in season.

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If I Had a Porch
1995 John Cady & his Lounge Life Press