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Monday, May 08, 2006

Bush confirms Colbert Report

I'm with the president, let history decide what did or did not happen. The greatest thing about this man is he's steady. You know where he stands. He believes the same thing Wednesday, that he believed on Monday, no matter what happened Tuesday. Events can change, this man's beliefs never will.
-- Stephen Colbert, White House Correspondent Dinner, April 29.

The interesting thing about Washington is that they want me to change--they being the--and I'm not changing, you know. You can't make decisions if you don't know who you are, and you flip around with the politics. You've got to stay strong in what you believe and optimistic about that you'll get good results. And so--the other thing I want you to know about me is that no matter how pressurized it may seem, I'm not changing what I believe.
-- George W. Bush, Interview with Kai Diekmann of Bild, May 5.

From high-school German, I know that "Bild" means "picture." But reading the interview, you'd have to believe it actually means "Fox News." The Bild reporter says about his newspaper:
BILD has 12 million readers. It's the largest newspaper in Germany. And there's one thing which is really special about our newspaper--every German who wants to work for the newspaper, he has to sign in his working contrasts some beliefs--and there's the belief you have to be for reunification, you have to be against totalitarianism from riots on the right side and the left side, and you have to be for the peace and for the understanding with Israel, and, since September 11th, we have a new belief--you have to be for partnership with America. Otherwise, you can't work for us, you can't come--you have to sign it in your contract.
I'm not sure even Fox News goes that far. Germany's largest paper requires its reporters to be Bush toadies! And Herr Diekmann is in no danger of breaching his contract. He could easily pass for one of the plants at one of aWol's Repug-only town meetings. Here are some of his questions:
Mr. President, the fifth anniversary of the terrible 9/11 attack is nearing. Has the Western world really learned the right lessons from 9/11?
Do you really believe we have a chance to win the war against terrorism?
How important is the partnership between the United States and Europe when it comes to the war on terror?
Is the war against Iraq really a success?
Iran is on the way to a nuclear program. How are we going to prevent them from making true what they threaten us, for example, in destroying Israel?
The German Chancellor and the new head of state, Olmert of Israel, they said the Iranian President is as dangerous as Adolf Hitler. Do you share their view?
Playing teeball in the oval office. Nevertheless, aWol manages to swing and miss several times, and to be his usual bizarre self:
I spent some time with her [German chancellor Merkel] upstairs in the private dining quarters here in the White House complex, listening to her. I asked her what it was like to grow up as a child.
WIIIAI comments on the rest, including aWol's recognition that the Germans "just don't like war," strange as that must seem to him. Maybe if he'd grown up as a child he'd understand.