Comedy Peripheral

Some recent lines from the late-nighters, via The Hamster:

"Friends say that each day President Bush spends two hours playing video games. Now let's think about this -- there's a war in Iraq, gas prices have never been higher and what is he working on? Getting Spiderman to the third level. ...Yeah George loves video games. His favorite? Grand Theft Election." David Letterman

"They claim now that President Bush spends two hours a day playing video games. Here's the good news -- that's two hours less than he spends being president." David Letterman

"Down in Washington D.C. the feds jumped a guy who was behaving suspiciously and carrying two large suitcases. Turns out it kind of had a funny ending: he's not a terrorist and the suitcases were full of cash for Tom Delay." David Letterman

"Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld warned Iraq's new leaders against hiring their friends and family members for government jobs, and then Majority Leader Tom Delay gave the rebuttal." Jay Leno

"Forty members of Congress also went to the [Pope's] funeral. They said it was great to be out of Washington and to get a break from all that prayer and Bible quoting." Bill Maher