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Tuesday, January 11, 2005

And take Dick with you!

I just got this by e-mail; I don't know the original source:
One night in the week before Christmas, George W. Bush tossed restlessly in his White House bed. He awoke to see George Washington standing by him. Bush asked him, "George, what's the best thing I can do to help the country?"

"Set an honest and honorable example, just as I did," Washington advised.

“But that would mean I’d have to tell the truth about my National Guard duty and my drug abuse! I can’t do that!” cried Bush.

Washington shook his head and then faded away.

The very next night, Bush was astir again, and saw the ghost of Thomas Jefferson moving through the darkened bedroom. Bush called out, "Tom, please! What is the best thing I can do to help the country?"

"Respect the Constitution, as I did," Jefferson advised.

“But I can’t do that! You see, we have these terrorism fellas who kill folks and we have to take away rights to protect the people of the USA!” objected George.

Jefferson shook his head and dimmed from sight.

The third night’s sleep was still not in the cards for Bush. He awoke to see the ghost of FDR hovering over his bed. Bush whispers, "Franklin, what is the best thing I can do to help the country?"

"Help the less fortunate, just as I did," FDR replied and faded into the mist.

“Now, Franklin, I can’t do that,” Bush shouted after him. “I have to help my oil buddies who helped get me elected and then I gotta take care of Dick’s friends at Halliburton. I’m sorry, but the poor just aren’t on the radar.”

Bush still isn't sleeping well by the fourth night when he sees another figure moving in the shadows. It is the ghost of Abraham Lincoln. Bush pleads, "Abe, what is the best thing I can do right now to help the country?"

Lincoln replies, "Go see a play."