Faith trumps reality

Via Polizeros, here's a column by Steve Lopez, writing in the LA Times:

Sure, John Kerry ran a disastrous campaign. But if Bush could screw things up as badly as he did the last four years and still win a second term, he truly must have God on his side.
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A far greater percentage of Americans believe in creationism than in evolution, and I had to stop thinking of them as rubes. A July poll revealed that more than half of America still believed Iraq had weapons of mass destruction, and I had to stop thinking of them as blockheads.

Faith. That's what drives this country, and that's exactly what was missing in my life. I jerked the Sentra to the curb, took a deep breath and repudiated all the lies I've been telling myself.

For starters, I never liked the Sentra. I hate it, even if it does get great mileage, and I feel like a big wuss for driving a Japanese car the size of a walnut. What I need — what I deserve as a God-fearing American — is a vehicle that burns enough gas to turn Alaska into a beach resort, or at least win me a tax credit.

By an act of divinity, the Sentra had come to a stop at Star Ford. I marched onto the lot and asked to see an SUV, and a salesman led me to the Explorer.

"Not big enough," I said.

He took me to the Ford Expedition.

"Not big enough," I said. "If our soldiers are going to keep dying in Iraq, I might as well get the most out of their sacrifice."

He took me to the Ford Excursion, which is approximately 40 feet tall. I managed to climb up without a stepladder, slid into the cab and felt as if I was behind the wheel of my old parish hall.

"Not big enough," I said. "Don't you have a bigger one called the Ford Extinction?"

Turns out there is no Ford Extinction yet.
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Faith, as defined in the year 2004 in America, is freedom from doubt, freedom from science, freedom from reality. I wish I had been saved much sooner.