Kerry Unveils One-Point Plan For Better America
From the Onion:
WICHITA, KSóDelivering the central speech of his 10-day "Solution For America" bus campaign tour Monday, Democratic presidential nominee Sen. John Kerry outlined his one-point plan for a better America: the removal of George W. Bush from the White House.
"If I am elected in November, no inner-city child will have to live in an America where George Bush is president," Kerry said, addressing a packed Maize High School auditorium. "No senior citizen will lie awake at night, worrying about whether George Bush is still the chief executive of this country. And no Americanóregardless of gender, regardless of class, regardless of raceówill be represented by George Bush in the world community."