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Thursday, August 05, 2004

It probably wouldn't make the news anyway

Bob Harris at This Modern World
While Dick Cheney was in charge, Halliburton wildly misreported its income, issued "materially misleading" financial statements, and led police on a nationally-televised ten-hour chase through nine states, culminating in a boozed-up Cheney running out of gas near Galveston, dashing in his underwear through a series of back allies, and finally, surrounded by SWAT units and helicopters, sprawling on the pavement, inexplicably shouting "I am the eggman! Executive privilege! I am the eggman!" before being placed on 24-hour blown-stent watch in the Huntsville supermax.
Harris reluctantly admits that the parts in red aren't true, although given that Cheney is neither black nor a Democrat, it seems that it could have happened, but is still considered "not news" after the networks received "friendly" calls from FCC Chairman Michael Powell.

For the details on Cheney's Enronic swindles, read Billmon's article from yesterday. And remember--our pResident is only a small-time, seven-figure kind of corporate crook. The Veep from the Deep is a major nine-figure robber barron.