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Tuesday, February 24, 2004

The parable of the hitchhiker
I'm hitchhiking, and I get picked up by a car with some college kids in it. Within the first mile, I realize the driver is drunk. Not only that, he doesn't know it, and he's running other cars off the road and has hit a few pedestrians. I'm in the back seat with this nerdy guy, who tells me that the big-haired guy in the front passenger seat wants to drive, but he won't force the issue because he's in the same frat as the driver. In fact, the nerd (who is VERY sober) tells me that big hair actually let the driver have the keys even after he knew he was drunk! While big hair is clearly not as drunk as the driver, I have my doubts about his judgment; he's not doing anything to stop the drunk from running over the pedestrians! I'm seriously questioning how long we have until we all get killed in a wreck.

Since I've never driven a car like this, I ask nerd-boy if he will take over driving. He says he'd love to, but the frat boys won't let anyone not in the frat drive one of their cars. I say, c'mon, that's ridiculous! I can tell right now that you'd be a far better driver than either of those guys! So I ask the driver, "Hey driver! Why don't you let nerd-boy back here drive!" Big hair turns around and says "There's no way we're ever letting nerd-boy drive. You've got to be in the club. If you keep asking, I'll never be able to get my friend out from behind the wheel, and we'll all die. So tell nerd-boy to shut up!"

In the end, I'll probably try to get big hair behind the wheel, because anything is better than the drunk. But I'd feel a lot better with nerd-boy, and if nerd-boy's nagging improves big hair's driving, we'll all be better off! In the meantime, I tell nerd-boy that I sure am glad that the car has seatbelts, and he says, "You're welcome!"