Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Poor Edgar Styles

Oh well, he's with his mother now. If his sister died at the hotel in season three, they've now covered all major varieties of WMD's in that family. Too bad Edgar missed the memo about all featured characters gathering in one room during gas attacks--somehow Jack, Audrey, Chloe, Buchanan and Kim all got it. Is Tony safe in the clinic? Sorry, stupid question. NOBODY is safe in the clinic.

Best (or worst) Logan moment:
Martha: You acted like the president of the United States.
Logan: Yes, I did.
Too bad Chase ran off on Kim. I thought he was going to give her his hand in marriage. Did Chase take little Angela with him, or is she just another three-year-old waif scrounging for scraps in South Central?

How did Jack manage to get to Henderson's house so much quicker than Henderson himself, who had a serious head start and already knew where he was going? Maybe Henderson stopped to see his broker to place some put options on Omicron.

Jack is the master of rationalization: "I shot her ABOVE the knee! She'll be able to walk again! One more shot and she's in a wheelchair for life." Now THAT's compassionate conservatism in action. How does he decide this crap, anyway? Does the CTU training manual have a decision tree for these situations?

A) Follow (a) or torture (b)?
B) If b, 1) torture subject, or 2) torture loved one of subject.
C) If 2, then a) cause extreme pain, b) maim or dismember, c) shoot.
D) If c, then 1) shoot in A) shoulder, B) knee, C) above knee.

With the advantages and disadvantages of each option spelled out, of course. Henderson probably taught him the ins and outs. Probably saw the shot above his wife's knee coming, figured it was preferable to what Jack might do to him (Henderson is a scumbag terrorist, after all).

And imagine a vice president who would come in and push for martial law right off the bat, just shooting from the hip at anything that moves. Oh, wait...

I thought the Martha/Charles resolution sucked, at least so far. I was hoping Martha would convince Aaron and the Russkies that Logan was complicit in the attack, and that together they would organize a coup at the Western White House. (How many White Houses are there in LA, anyway? Didn't Palmer operate out of a completely different one in season two? The one where Lynn Kresge could fall down several flights of stairs? Don't forget that Mike Novick was involved in that.) Martha is ten times the man Charles will ever be; for her to just cave in and make up with Chucky just ain't right.

And then there's the keycard. I thought they used biometrics at CTU, thumbprints and retinal scans and such. At the very least, they could put the agent's PICTURE on the card--I think that's possible these days. Furthermore, how did Lynn get back INTO CTU after being mugged without his keycard? Propped the back door open or something? They really should give the writers more time to think this stuff through.

Last week, I stated the obvious:
I think we can be pretty sure that within nanoseconds of when Audrey tells Kim that Jack is still alive, Jack's life will be threatened.
But I ignored the even more obvious--within nanoseconds of Kim's return to the show, HER life would be threatened.

And about Kim--with both parents dead and her man having run off, how can she afford a full-time therapist? Okay, granted. How else? Did Henderson pay for the guy? Out of pure altruism or with some ulterior motive?

Well, I think the surviving cast being trapped in a corner is pretty appropriate, given what the writers have been doing to themselves all season.

Homework assignment for the rest of the season: Figure out the real reason behind the terror attacks before the writers do.


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