Wednesday, 25-Nov-2009 08:42:35 EST

Wisdom from FranklinCovey

"The best way to predict your future is to create it."

Thoughts on The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People©

"The 7 Habits are not a set of seperate or piecemeal psyche-up formulas. In harmony with the natural laws of growth, they provide an incremental, sequential, highly integrated approach to the development of personal and interpersonal effectiveness. They move us progressively on a Maturity Continuum from dependence to independence to interdependence."

Be Proactive® - the habit of choice
"The word proactive means more than merely taking initiative. It means that as human beings, we are responsible for our own lives. Our behavior is a function of our decisions, not our conditions. We can subordinate feelings to values. We have the initiative and the responsibility to make things happen."

"Habit 1 is the habit of choice. No matter what the circumstances, we still have the power to choose what we will do about things that happen to us. Habit 1 begins our journey from dependence to interdependence and our mastery of the Private Victory."

"Proactive people focus on their Circle of Influence. They work on the things they can do something about. The nature of their energy is positive, enlarging, and magnifying, causing their Circle of Influence to increase. Reactive people, on the other hand, focus their efforts in the Circle of Concern. They focus on the weakness of other people, the problems in the environment, and circumstances over which they have no control. Their focus results in blaming and accusing attitudes, reactive language, and increasing feelings of victimization."

"In the great literature of all progressive societies, love is a verb. Reactive people make it a feeling. Proactive people make it a verb. Love is something you do: the sacrifices you make, the giving of self. Love is a value that is actualized through loving actions."

"One way to determine which circle our concern is in is to distinguish between the have's and the be's. The Circle of Concern is filled with the have's, the Circle of Influence is filled with the be's--I can be more patient, be wise, be loving. It's the character focus."
Begin with the End in Mind - the habit of vision, mission, and purpose
"Begin with the End in Mind is based on the principle that all things are created twice. There's a mental or first creation, and a physical or second creation to all things. The carpenter's rule is 'measure twice, cut once.' You have to make sure that the blueprint, the first creation, is really what you want, that you've thought everything through. Then you put it into bricks and mortar. Each day you go to the construction shed and pull out the blueprint to get marching orders for the day. You begin with the end in mind."

"Leadership is the first creation. Leadership is not management. Leadership had to come first. Management is a bottom line focus: How can I accomplish certain things? Leadership deals with the top line: What are the things I want to accomplish? In the words of both Peter Drucker and Warren Bennis, 'Management is doing things right; leadership is doing the right things.'"

"Highly effective people live life by design. They take time to clarify outcomes. They approach their projects, meetings, relationships, and lives with a plan or design in mind."
Put First Things First - integrity and execution in the moment of choice
"Habit 3 is based on the paradigm of effectiveness first, then efficiency; relationships first, then schedules; important things first, then the urgent things; the compass first, then the clock."

"Effective management is putting first things first. While leadership decides what first things are, it is management that puts them first, day-by-day, moment-by-moment. Management is discipline, carrying it out."

"If something is important, it contributes to your mission, your values, your high priority goals. We react to urgent matters. Important matters that are not urgent require more initiative, more proactively. We must act to seize opportunity, to make things happen. If we don't put first things first, we don't have a clear idea of what is important; we are easily divided into responding to the urgent."
Think Win-Win - the habit of mutual benefit
"Many people refuse to delegate to other people because they feel it takes too much time and effort and they could do the job better themselves. But efectively delegating to others is perhaps the single most powerful high-leverage activity there is. Delegation means growth, both for individuals and for organizations."

"If you know the failure paths of the job, identify them. Be honest and open. Let people learn from your mistakes or the mistakes of others. When delegating to others, point out what not to do, but don't tell them what to do. Keep the responsibility for results with them."

"In my work with various people and organizations seeking Win/Win solutions, I suggest that they become involved in the following four-step process:
- "First, see the problem from the other point of view. Really seek to understand and to give expression to the needs and concerns of the other party.
- "Second, indentify the key issues and concerns (not positions) involved.
- "Third, determine what results would constitute a fully acceptable solution.
- "And fourth, indentify possible new options to achive those results."
Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood - the habit of mutual understanding
"In empathic listening, you listen with your eyes and your heart. You listen for feelings, for meaning. You listen for behavior. You use your right brain as well as your left. You sense, you intuit, you feel. Empathic listening is powerful because it gives you accurate data to work with."

"The Golden Rule says to 'Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.' While on the surface that could mean to do for them what you would like to have done for you, I think the more essential meaning is to understand them deeply as individuals, the way you would want to be understood, and then treat them in terms of that understanding. As one successful parent said about raising children, 'Treat them all the same by treating them differently.'"

"Because we listen autobiographically, we tend to respond in one of four ways. We evaluate--we either agree or disagreel we probe--we ask questions from our own frame of reference; we advise--we give counsel based on our own experience; or we interpret--we try to figure people out, to explain their motives, their behavior, based on our own motives and behavior. These responses come naturally to us. We are deeply scripted in them. But how do they affect our ability to really understand?"

"The early Greeks had a magnificent philosophy that is embodied in three sequentially arranged words: ethos, pathos, and logos. I suggest these three words contain the essence of seeking first to understand and making effective presentations. Ethos is your personal credibility. Pathos is the empathic side, the feeling. Logos is the logic, the reasoning part of the presentation. Notice the sequence--your character, your relationships, and then the logic of your presentation."
Synergize - seeking the Third Alternative
"The principle of Habit 6 is that the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. Synergy means creating something that has never been created before. It emerges from the willingness of two or more people to seek an alternative that's better than any of them could have come up with alone. It is finding the Third Alternative."

"Synergy brings with it a sense of mutual accountability. It encourages people to be more honest, to speak with more candor, and to have the courage to deal with the tougher issues."

"By valuing and celebrating the differences and practicing creative cooperation, effective people get results such as innovation and invention, new and better solutions, transformed relationships, and an appreciation of diverse perspectives."
Sharpen the Saw - the habit of renewal
"Habit 7 is taking the time to sharpen the saw. It surrounds the other habits on the Seven habits paradigm because it is the habit that makes all the others possible. Habit 7 is personal PC. It's preserving and enhancing the greatest asset you have-you. It's renewing the four dimensions of your nature-physical, spiritual, mental, and social/emotional."

"Most of us think we don't have time to exercise. What a distorted paradigm! We don't have time not to. We're talking about three to six hours a week--or a minimum of thirty minutes a day, every other day. That hardly seems an inordinate amount of time considering the tremendous benefits in terms of the impact on the other 162-165 hours of the week."

"Increasing the driving forces may bring results-for a while. But as long as the restraining forces are there, it becomes increasingly harder. It's like pushing against a spring: the harder you push, the harder it is to push until the force of the spring suddenly thrusts the level back down. But when you introduce synergy, you use the motive of Habit 4, the skill of Habit 5, and the interaction of Habit 6 to work directly on restraining forces. You unfreeze them, loosen them up, and create new insights that actually transform those restraining forces into driving ones."

Quotations for Principle-Centered Leaders

These quotations are from a FranklinCovey Principle-Centered Leadership desk calendar.

"Love is something you do - the giving of self, the sacrifices you make - even for people who offend or do not love in return. Love is a value that is actualized through loving actions."

"Communication is primarily a function of trust, not of technique. When trust is high, communication is easy, it's effortless, it's instantaneous, and it's effective - it works. But when trust is low and the emotional bank account is overdrawn, communication is exhausting, it's terribly time-consuming, and it's like walking around a minefield."

"Clarifying expectations sometimes takes a great deal of courage. It seems easier to act as though differences don't exist and to hope things will work out than it is to face the differences and work together to arrice at a mutually agreeable set of expectations."

"You have to decide what your highest priorities are and have the courage - pleasantly, smilingly, non-apologetically - to say 'no' to other things. And the way you do that is by having a bigger 'yes' burning inside. The enemy of the best is often the good."

"People can't live with change if there's not a changeless core inside them. The key to the ability to change is a changeless sense of who you are, what you are about, and what you value."

"The real key to your influence with me is your example, your actual conduct. Your example flows naturally out of your charecter or the kind of person you truly are - not what others say you are or what you may want me to think you are. It is evident in how I actually experience you. Your charecter is constantly radiating, communicating. From it, in the long run, I come to instinctively trust or distrust you and your efforts with me."

"We simply assume that the way we see things is the way they really are or the way they should be, and our attitudes and behaviors grouw out of those assumptions."

"The single most powerful investment we can ever make in life is investment in ourselves, in the only instrument we have with which to deal with life and to contribute."

"The essence of synergy is to value differences - to respect them, to build on strengths, to compensate for weaknesses."

"We create many negative situations by simply assuming that our expectations are self-evident and that they are clearly understood and shared by other people."

"Between stimulus and response is our greatest power--the freedom to choose."

"As you openly, honestly share what you're learning with others, you may be surprised to find that negative labels or perceptions others may have of you tend to disappear. Those you teach will see you as a changing, growing person, and will be more inclined to be helpful and supportive as you work, perhaps together, to integrate the Seven Habits into your life."

"It is one thing to make a mistake, and quite another thing not to admit it. People will forgive mistakes, because mistakes are usually of the mind--mistakes of judgement. But people will not easily forgive the mistakes of the heart--the ill intention; the bad motives; the prideful, justifying cover-up of the first mistake."

"How different our lives are when we really know what is deeply important to us, and keeping that picture in mind, we manage ourselves each day to be and to do what really matters most."

"Unless I open up with you, unless you understand me and my unique situation and feelings, you won't know how to advise or counsel me. What you say is good and fine, but it doesn't quite pertain to me."

"There are three central values in life--the experiential, or that which happens to us; the creative, or that which we bring into existence; and the attitudinal, or our response in difficult circumstances. The highest one of these is attitudinal. In other words, what matters most is how we respond to what we experience in life."

"The most effective way I know to Begin with the End in Mind is to develop a personal mission statement or philosophy or creed. It focuses on what you want to be (charecter) and to do (contributions and achievements) and on the values or principles upon which being and doing are based. Because each indicidual is unique, a personal mission statement will reflect that uniqueness, both in content and form."

"Our paradigms are the source of our attitudes and behaviors. We cannot act with integrity outside of them. We simply cannot maintain wholeness if we talk and walk differently than we see."

"Valuing differences is the essence of synergy--the mental, the emotional, the psychological differences between people--and the key to valuing those differences is to realize that all people see the world not as it is, but as they are."

"Renewal is the principle-and the process-that empowers us to move on an upward spiral of growth and change, of continuous improvement."

"Efficient management without effective leadership is, as one individual has phrased it, 'like straightening deck chairs on the Titanic.'"

"The essence of syngergy is to value differences-to respect them, build on strengths, to compensate for weaknesses."

"Our response to any mistake affects the quality of the next moment. It is important to immediately admit and correct our mistakes so that they have no power over that next moment, and we are empowered again."

"You can buy a person's hand, but you can't buy his heart. His heart is where his enthusiasm, his loyalty is. You can buy his back, but you can't buy his brain. That's where his creativity is, his ingenuity, his resourcefulness."

"Sometimes the most proactive thing we can do is to be happy--just to genuinely smile. Happiness, like unhappiness, is a proactive choice."

"You are not your habits. You can replace old patterns of self-defeating behavior with new habits of effectiveness, happiness and trust-based relationships. I encourage you to open the gate of change and growth."

"By working on knowledge, skill, and desire, we can break through to new levels of personal and interpersonal effectiveness as we break with old paradigms that may have been a course of pseudo-security for years."

"Love is something you do--the giving of self, the sacrifices you make--even for people who offent or do not love in return. Love is a value that is actualized through loving actions."

"On a ten-point scale, if I am level two in any field, and desire to move to level five, I must first take the step toward level three. 'A thousand mile journey begins with the first step' and can only be taken one step at a time."

"As we sincerely seek to understand and integrate deep principles into our lives, I am convinced we will discover and rediscover the truth of T.S. Eliot's obersvation: 'We must no cease from exploration and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we began and know the place for the first time'."

"Interdependence is a choice only independent people can make. Unless we are willing to achieve real independence, it's foolish to try to develop human relation skills. We might even have some degree of success when the sun is shining. But when the difficult times come--and they will--we won't have the foundation to keep things together."

"We accomplish all we do through delegation--either to time or to other people. If we delegate to time, we think efficiency. If we delegate to other people, we think effectiveness."

"Without involvement, there is no commitment. Mark it down, asterisk it, circle it, underline it. No involvement, no commitment."

"We are responsible for our own effectiveness, for our own happiness, and ultimately, I would say, for most of our circumstances."

"If my sense of security lies in my reputation or in the things I have, my life will be in a constant state of threat and jeopardy--a fear that these possessions may be lost or stolen or devalued. If I'm in the presence of someone of greater net worth or fame or status, I feel inferior. If I'm in the presence of someone of lesser net worth or fame or status, I feel superior. My sense of self-worth constantly fluctuates. I don't have any sense of constancy, anchorage, or persistent selfhood. I am constantly trying to protect and insure my assets, properties, securities, position, or reputation."

"At the very heart of our circle of influence is our ability to make and keep commitments and promises. The commitments we make to ourselves and to others, and our integrity to those commitments, is the essence and clearest manifistation of our proactivity."

"As proactive people, we can carry our own physical and social weather with us. We can be happy and accept those things that are present we can't control, while we focus our efforts on the things we can."

"Happiness can be defined, in part at least, as the fruit of the desire and ability to sacrifice what we want now for what we want eventually."

"The key to effective communication is the one-on-one relationship. The moment we enter into this special relationship with another person, we begin to change the very nature of our communication with them. We begin to build trust and confidence in each other."

"You can decide within yourself how circumstances will affect you. Between what happens to you, or the stimulus, and your response to it, is your freedom or power to choose that response."

"Almost all of the world-class athletes and other peak performers are visualizers. They see it, they feel it, they experience it before they actually do it. They Begin with the End in Mind. You can do it in every area of your life. See a goal clearly, vividly, relentlessly, over and over again. Create an internal 'comfort zone.' Then, when you get into the situation, it isn't foreign. It doesn't scare you."

"The key to valuing differences is to realize that all people see the world, not as it is, but as they are."

"One of the most important ways to manifest integrity is to be loyal to those who are not present. In doing so, we build the trust of those who are present."

"An effective goal focuses primarily on results rather than activity. It identifies where you want to be, and, in the process, helps you determine where you are. It gives you important information on how to get there, and tells you when you have arrived. It unifies your efforts and energy. It gives meaning and purpose to all you do."

"Admission of ignorance is often the first step in our education."

"I define maturity as the balance between courage and consideration. If a person can express his or her feelings and convictions with courage, balanced with the consideration for the feelings and convictions of another person, he or she is mature."

"We are free to choose our actions, based on our knowledge of correct principles, but we are not free to choose the consequences of those actions. Remember: 'If you pickup one end of the stick, you pick up the other.'"

"Importance has to do with results. If something is important, it contributes to your mission, your values, your high priority goals. But if we don't have a clear idea of what is important, of the results we desire in our lives, we are easily diverted into responding to the urgent."

"The skills, the tip of the icebrerg of empathic listening, involve four developmental stages:

"The first and least effective is to mimic content. Mimicking content is easy. You just listen to the words that come out of someone's mouth and you repeat them. This is the skill taught in 'active' or 'reflective' listening. Without the character and relationship base, it is often insulting to people and causes them to close up. It is, however, a first stage skill because it at least causes you to listen to what's being said.
"The second stage of empathic listening is to rephrase the content. This time, you've put her meaning into your own words. You're thinking about what she said mostly with the left side, the reasoning, logical side of the brain. It's a little more effective, but it's still limited to verbal communication.
"The third stage of empathic listening brings your right brain into operation. You reflect feeling. Now you're not paying as much attention to what she's saying as you are to the way she feels about what she's saying.
"The fourth stage includes both the second and the third. You rephrase the content and reflect the feeling."

"The Personality Ethic tells me there must be something out there-some new planner or seminar that will help me handle pressures in a more efficient way. But there is a chance that efficiency is not the answer? Could there be somthing I need to see in a deeper, more fundamental way-some paradigm within myself that affects the way I see my time, my life, and my own nature? I am not suggesting that elements of the Personality Ethic-personality growth, communication skill training, and education in the field of influence strategies and positive thinking-are not beneficial, in fact sometimes essential for success. I believe they are. But these are secondary, not primary traits."

"The 'inside-out' approach to personal and interpersonal effectiveness means to start first with self; even more fundamentally, to start with the most inside part of self-with your paradigms, your character, and your motives. The inside-out approach says that private victories precede public victories, that making and keeping promises to ourselves precedes making and keeping promises to others. It says it is futile to put personality ahead of character, to try to improve relationships with others before improving ourselves."

"You can decide within yourself how circumstances will affect you. Between what happens to you, or the stimulus, and your response to it, is your freedom or power to choose that response."

"I suggest that you shift the paradigm of your own involvement in this material from the role of learner to that of teacher. Take an inside-out approach, and read with the purpose in mind of sharing and discussing what you learn with someone else within forty-eight hours after you learn it. You will not only better remember what you read, but your perspective will be expandend, your understanding deepened, and your motivation to apply the material increased."

"There are three social maps-three theories of determinism widely accepted to explain the nature of man. Genetic determinism basically says your grandparents did it to you. It just goes through the generations and you inherited it. Psychic determinism basically says your parents did it to you. Your upbringing, your childhood experience essentially laid out your personal tendencices and your character structure. Environmental determinism basically says your boss is doing it to you-or your spouse, or your economic situation, or national policies. Someone or something in your environment is responsible for your situation."

"Look at the word responsibility--'response ability'--the ability to choose your response. Highly proactive people recognize that responsibility. They do not blame circumstances, conditions, or conditioning for their behavior. Their behavior is a product of their own conscious choice, based on values, rather than a product of their conditions, based on feeling."

"On a ten-point scale, if I am at level two in any field, and desire to move to a level five, I must first take the step toward level three. 'A thousand-mile journey begins with the first step' and can only be taken one step at a time."

"Integrity includes but goes beyond honesty. Honesty is telling the truth--in other words, conforming our words to reality. Integrity is conforming reality to our words--in other words, keeping promises and fulfilling expectations. This requires an integrated character, a oneness, primarily with self but also with life."

"You can't talk your way out of problems you behave yourself into."

"Until a person can say deeply and honestly, 'I am what I am today because of the choices I made yesterday,' that person cannot say, 'I choose otherwise.'"

"There are basically four kinds of consequences (rewards or penalties) that management or parents can control: financial - income, allowances, or penalty fees; psychological - recognition, approval, respect, credibility, or loss of any of them; opportunity - training, development, perks, and other benefits; responsibility - scope and authority."