The Navel Bottle

     The middle classes regarded the dadaist as a scapegrace with no
morals, a revolutionary villain, an uncultured barbarian, harboring
evil designs on the church bells, and safes of the bourgeoisie and
its brilliant roster of honors.  The dadaist would think up all sorts
of practical jokes to prevent the bourgeoisie from sleeping in peace.
He would send false reports to newspapers about hair-raising dada duels
in which his favorite writer, the "King of Bernina," was involved.  
The dadaist made the bourgeoisie feel chaos and remote but powerful
rumblings so that their bells began to buzz, their safes wrinkled
their brows, and their honor was covered with stains.
     The "egg-plank," an outdoor and parlor game for the upper crust,
in which the players are smeared with egg yolk from head to foot by
the time they leave the arena; the "navel bottle," a monstrous house-
hold implement in which a bicycle, a sea-serpent, a brassière, and a
Pernod spoon copulated; the "glove" that can be worn instead of the 
old-fashioned head-- all were meant to show the bourgeoisie the un-
reality of their world, the futility of their efforts, and even the
inanity of their profiteering flag waving.  Our aim was naturally
naïve since the bourgeoisie has less imagination than a worm, and a
larger-than-life corn in place of a heart, the corn twitching only 
when the barometer, i.e. the market, drops.

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