Dreams.  My past trickles back to me in dreams.  At least this one came in time.  I don't know why Amanda didn't do something with the information she had.  Tevis must have mentioned the name Amber a time or two.  Did she forget?  Not put the pieces together?  Or was she stopped from doing anything?  Timing, always timing.  I still have to ask Tevis how long ago Amanda was from his point of view.

     When I woke, I sat up immediately and started to dress.  I've had enough practice at getting up immediately when called that that wasn't hard.  Waking Tevis on the other hand was quite a chore.  It wasn't that I had any compunctions about it; if I'm going to claim him as my bodyguard, I can't very well go gadding about the castle, especially in the very early morning, without him.  Either he was really exhausted or it's a miracle he survived those years as a mercenary.

     While Tevis pulled on clothes, I trumped Evander.  I'm fairly sure I woke him.  Just the first of many early awakenings caused by my memory fragment.  When he finally answered, I apologized but insisted that my information was urgent.  Fortunately, Merlin was with him, so they could find Evara quickly.  I asked him to try, if at all possible, to retrieve Russell and Rebecca's family.  I told him that I knew that it probably wouldn't be possible, but I still hoped.  I'll probably have to go there myself to look.

     As we hurried through the halls looking for the servant who could lead us to the servant who could wake the King, I pondered the whole situation.  My views of Evara didn't make it seem a very likely staging ground for a move against Amber.  Of course, my views came from a rather peculiar angle.  I suppose that a place where both technology and magic worked would be quite useful for that sort of thing.  I'd have thought that the time rate would be pretty inconvenient, though.  Then again, can some people alter that?

     Geraint was at least as annoyed as Evander about being awakened early, but he also recognized the urgency of the information.  Fortunately, Merlin had mentioned my memory problems to him.  Otherwise, I think he mightn't have believed me or might have thought that I'd deliberately withheld crucial intelligence.  Anyway, he went off to do whatever it is that kings do during wars, and I went back to our rooms.

     Since I was already up, I started studying.  I've got a lot to catch up on in terms of stuff that the tutor won't be able to teach me without breaking the general pretense that he's there for Russell and Rebecca primarily.  Tevis proved to be a major distraction.  He paced and he turned and he paced and he turned.  Finally, I stopped him and asked why he was so agitated.

     "I should be there, and I can't be!"

     "I could let you go..."  I suppose I must have sounded as dubious as I felt.  I don't know how the Wall Guard would feel about him, and sending him off to the battle would be another way to undermine the whole bodyguard thing.

     He shook his head.  "I can't go."

     I didn't argue, just asked him for help with the current bane of my scholarly existence--  Numbers.  Linette and Amanda both knew this stuff, but I need help to bring it to the surface.  It's embarrassing not to be able to manage simple arithmetic.  The distraction worked, and Tevis actually managed to help me quite a bit.  I just need reminding.  Addition, subtraction, multiplication, division, fractions...  Enough to keep us busy for a while.

     Then Luke called to tell me that Merlin had been injured and that I was needed at the Wall.  I was puzzled as to what use I could be, but Tevis and I went.  I didn't figure that asking questions over trump would help much.

     Merlin had taken two arrows in the chest.  He was barely alive.  Luke told me that the arrows had probably been poisoned because otherwise Merlin should have been able to shift around them.  As it was, the medical people couldn't remove the arrows because he'd bleed to death.   They also couldn't move him any further than they already had without increased risk of killing him.

       I still wasn't sure what I was supposed to do, and I suppose it must have showed.  Luke told me to get into Merlin's mind and help as much as I could.  I sat beside my father and took his hand.  Then I started trying to get in.  He fought me, but he was very weak.  His mind wasn't working normally at all.    It took me a long time, but I managed to find the part of his mind that knows about shape shifting and get that going.  We worked on the poison since that was the biggest problem.

     Someone else fed me energy just when I was wearing out.  Without that support, I think I would have lost myself in Merlin's mind and not come back out.  I was too busy and too far gone to know who it was.  I suppose I'll have to ask.

     When I came out, Tevis fussed over me while I fussed at the medics.  There was a box of medical equipment there, and I demanded that they get some fluids into my father.  They set up an i.v. pretty quickly.

     The army rations I devoured weren't anything spectacular, but at least they were calories.  I seemed to have used a lot more than just mental energy while I was communing with Merlin.  Since I really couldn't do much, I started sketching a trump of my rooms so that I could take my father there after he stabilized (and once I was strong enough to do it).  The work took a lot longer than usual, but I suppose that's nothing to be surprised at.

     About the time I finished, Mythos and Fayne showed up.  They were almost intolerably pleased with themselves.  Apparently they'd managed to kill Jakob.  I suppose it shows a dreadful lack of family feeling, but somehow I can't muster any regret at the idea of my uncle's death.  He was high on my list of People I Don't Ever Want To Meet.  Too bad they didn't shoot Dara too.  The world's a better place each time someone like that dies.

     Now I just need home and sleep and food.  Home...  Funny, I'm not sure when Amber became home.  It's quite a novel concept.

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