There's a lot that Merlin isn't telling me.  I'm not sure how much has to do with being secretive and how much has to do with things he that are painful to him.  I haven't gotten the impression that he's a particularly secretive person, and I have gotten the impression that he doesn't want to talk about what's on the other side of that wall.  In fact, that seems to be so much the case that he wasn't even curious about when I might have seen Ygg to remember the wall and the door or when I might have seen or met Evander.
     I think I want to be cautious about who else I let know about those mysterious fragments.  I want my head put back together correctly.  That'll probably be easier if someone hasn't gone digging through it first.  I'm not sure who would know how to help me out who wouldn't consider my potential information more important than me except maybe Merlin.  Even he if pushed might have second thoughts; that might be why he's not letting things register.
 I'm getting frustrated though.  Merlin keeps promising to show me how to use this Pattern thing.  So far as I can tell right now, that whole trip up the stairs was a collosal waste of time (Not to mention what it did to poor Fayne...) and energy.  I wonder if anybody's shown any of the others how to do anything with the stupid thing.  Jared, Mythos and Sophie all have relatives locally.
     I also want to try to find out why Merlin's doing all of this running all over shadow.  He didn't want to explain when he stopped by, but I'm betting I could figure it out if I had a little more information about Evander and about why Merlin could identify the sword that was stuck in Robert.  Is he the only one Evander will work with?  Is he more likely to spot certain clues than some other person?  Is there something else?
 At least I'm almost done with Fayne's Trump.  I've got a long list of other things I want to or need to draw.  I think I know where I want to start though.  I've got one idea about who might be able to and willing to tell me the things I need to know about Merlin.  I'll just have to phrase it correctly.  Depending on what I learn, I may ask for help pulling my memory fragments together.
     I just hope that Merlin wasn't wrong about who I could trust.

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