"Me: "Hmm...anything else I need?" Chelsie: "A life?"."

Well then.

"It's middle school. It's not old school, but it's not new school either."

Ha ha...supposedly said by Joseph

"Unless you're there for something you can get a job with, like women's studies." Me:"What an you do with women's studies?" Joseph: "You could open your own OB/GYN clinic."


Person:"You remind me of a Korean celebrity." Me:"Oh yeah?" Person:"Yeah, not your characteristics, but the way you look." Me:"Oh really?" Person:"It's your eyebrows. With this celebrity, if you look at him from far away, all you see is eyebrows."

Wow. Someone's gotta work on their compliments.

Andre: "Sherwin, does Stella ever passed gas in your presence?" Sherwin: "No." Andre: "Then your relationship isn't mature yet."

It should be noted that Andre is in a relationship...so is his mature? ha ha ha

"Yeah, my whole family will be packed into my tiny apartment. My father, my sister, my brother, my...wait, I don't have a brother!"

Ha ha ha ha. I'm not gonna say who said this, but that's just hilarious

Andre: "Sherwin, does Stella ever passed gas in your presence?" Sherwin: "No." Andre: "Then your relationship isn't mature yet."

It should be noted that Andre is in a relationship...so is his mature? ha ha ha

"___ wears the pants in the relationship. She wears the overalls. Actually, she wears anything that resembles the pants."

LOL. I will neither say who said this, nor who they said it about. However, I will say that 'she wears the overalls' is hilarious.

"Being vegetarian is good. You'll find that it's easier to keep your weight." Annonymous: "Elephants are vegetarian."

True...ha ha ha

Said by my Indian GI attending: "What is India's #1 industry? Producing human beings and exporting them."

The team thought it was amusing, ha ha.

"So, have you activated your love life yet?"

Amy, asking about my status.

"It's good when I get to hug Hector, though I think my arms have been getting shorter..."

Ha ha, heard in a sermon at church. Pretty funny...

Me: "Well, you can become vegetarian to lose weight. It's easier to lose weight as a vegetarian." Annonymous: "Elephants are vegetarian..."

"Got a call from a doc the other day about harassing phone calls. I get these all the time, every day. He said there was someone who was calling 20-30 times/day. I asked, who? He said: "My wife." I said, 'are you divorced?' He said: "Nope, she doesn't work. She just sits at home and does nothing, so she calls him since she's just at home. Can you tell her to stop?'


John: "I think the bug bit me. You know? The shopping bug." Me: "I know that bug." John: "Its kinda like the lady bug except it has dollar signs instead of dots."

Ha ha...how does John come up with this stuff?

"Albert can have a next generation trophy wife, 'cuz, literally, now she'd be in the next generation."

Boo...calling me old? I don't remember who said this, but it was definitely amusing, ha ha ha

"Condition level yellow. Now, the way I remember this is to think about it as urine, like you're going to pee your pants. The other officers wanted to call it code brown."

The security head at orientation...hilarious

"We have, what 15,000 employees, and a good 1000 of them are crazy."

A lawyer, talking about various legal issues at resident's orientation, including sexual harassment among other things. Bottom line? ha ha, keep your principles.

Me: "Wow, I'm proud of myself for that picture." Dad: "You should be proud of your camera."

Snap, ha ha. Put in place by my dad...

"How do you spell relief? p-o-o-p."

Man...ha ha ha. Tough to argue with that...and I will protect the person who said this by allowing the person to remain annonymous. =)

Missionary girls: "Wow, Roy, you're really dressed up for this exam." Roy: "If I'm going down, I'm gonna go down looking good."

Roy...in style as always. ha ha

A teenage boy who was acting like a baby, nurse sticks thermometer into his mouth to take temperature: "I don't want that in me." Nurse: "It's either your mouth or your butt, your choice."

Well, needless to say the kid got real quiet after that one...

Kesan: "That was a goooood movie, I almost cried." Taku: "That's like the womens' measure for a good movie. I cried...two thumbs up! I didn't cry...two thumbs down."

Ha ha ha, true that Taku.

Thando: "You should come to ALIVE. Africans living in view of eternity." African guy: "I don't want to." Thando: "Why?" Guy: "It's African."

Umm...clearly, this guy needs a better excuse than that. But it gets better..

Thando: "Why don't you want to come?" Different Guy: "My wife will get mad."

Cassi: "So...what were their reasons for breaking up in the first place?" Justin: "Probably good reasons."

as if that wasn't amusing enough, later...

Justin: "...now they're back together, it's ahk gah wuh, in Korean." Cassi: "What does that mean?" John: "It's a waste." Justin: "Yeah, a waste of good woman."

Me: "Man...I'm leaving bro, this is crazy." Justin:"Hahahaha, this may be the best thing that happened to me, I mean...you."

=( Really Justin? Freudian slip? ha ha ha

At Blockbuster...Justin: "OK guys, I got the movie, let's go." Seven guys start to walk out of Blockbuster...Girl at front desk: "Seven guys? Who's got the minivan?" Guys: "oh, no, we got two cars." Girl (weird smile, and speaking loud enough for everyone around desk to hear): "Oh...enjoy Bee Movie guys!"

That girl owned us at Blockbuster...who does that? Why call us out? Man...

About Entropy: "Think about when a couple gets married, everything's good for the first few years, both are in their prime. Lookin' good, lookin' good. The law of entropy is this: Over time husbands stop going to the gym, the woman thinks "oh, my husband loves me for who I am' and eats whatever she wants. That's the law of entropy: spreading."

I can honestly say that I have a better grasp of what entropy is after that sermon statement by Justin N. Hilarious...

Thando: "I think other people like Sadarra will eat ice cream, just not me." Me: "I was thinking more along what I wanted to get." Thando: "Oh, so you're being selfish today."

After all that I've bought...I'm being selfish for thinking about what I wanted. Thanks Thando, thanks, ha ha ha.

"Cutie pie."

Thando? Called Justin that? What? Whoa...wait a sec. Cutie pie? Didn't even know that was in her vocabulary. Justin's response? "I think she's hitting on me, I just told on you to Albert."

"When you were little, did your parents play dolls and soldiers with you on the ground?"

This was in a sermon at DKAY. What kind of twisted game is dolls and soldiers? Cowboys and Indians? Barbie and Ken? Gi Joes? Soldiers and dolls? What? ha ha ha

Doctor: "I think you'll not be able to work for another two months." 40 something year old man: "Man, Darn!" Doctor: "Why?" Man: "Well, I always get free soup at this sorority...two months without any free soup is a long time. And there're hot babes there too."

Man, the things patients say...ha ha ha. Though creepy, since it was real...

Justin: "I don't ever cry." Missionary: "You won't shed tears when we leave?" Justin: "Fine, I'll shed one tear for all the missionaries, so I'll shed 8. Which eye do you want?"

J Namm, doing what he does, ha ha

Tammy looking at Israel, her 5 year old son, dancing: "That's what the Bible means when it says the sins of the father to the third and fourth generation."

Oh...Pastor Steve, you hear that? ha ha
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