[And, by the way, thanks to mutedfaith.com, whom I totally ripped this format from!]
2. Which of the following best represents how you feel about the world?
Screw it, damn world.
Life is easy for you, because everyone in the world seems to like you.
You know your geography - in verse!
You tend to hide away from it.
It forces you to constantly ask, "Why?"
If it doesn't work, hit it with a mallet.
You're cool with it.
You should be the unquestioned lord and master of it. Obviously.
3. When people stop you on the street, it is to:
Stare at you strangely. You usually grin back insanely.
Tell you how cute your outfit is!
Ask a stupid question. And get a sarcastic answer, usually.
See exactly how short you really are.
Get a good look at your face. They swear they've seen you before...
Prevent you from wandering into areas where people normally wear hardhats, or gasmasks.
Pick a fight.
Give you directions to the bathroom.
4. People tend to remark that your best trait is:
Um. Hmmm. You're, uh, a nice person?
5. It's time for another Good Idea, Bad Idea:
6. Are you pondering what I'm pondering?
If, by such an inquiry, you mean to suggest an interlinking mental synchronicity between my psyche and your own, such that the thing that you have in mind is precisely the thing that I do, then...no.
Well, I think so, but where are we going to find a duck and a hose at this hour?
If you're pondering the idiocy of the question you just asked, then - yes.
*carefully avoids eye contact*
What do you mean by 'pondering?' Are you trying to say that I am pondering, over here?
Wanna see me make bubbles with my spit?
7. And the moral of today's story is:
Beauty is only skin deep. So, make sure to reapply the concealer, rouge, and eyeshadow every few hours.
Do not back up. Severe tire damage.
Those who can, do. Those who can't - probably weren't cute enough.
2B or not 2B, that is the pencil.
All the world's a stage - it's good to be the stage manager.
The truth will set you free - just before they release the hunting dogs.
Don't eat with your mouth full.
Violence is never the answer. Well, okay, occasionally it is.
Win a free trip to Tahiti!
8. Which of these best describes your wardrobe?
Consisting entirely of one pair of khakis and a belt.
Contains nice suits. Large, robotic ones.
Pink, girly stuff. With flowers.
Mostly greys and blues.
Full of masks. And feathers.
Pretty much the same comfortable thing everyday.
Red baseball cap. No pants.
Burlap chafes me so...
9. Which color(s) best describes you?
Sterile White Surfaces.
Pretty in Pink.
Black and Blue.
Puce. No, Mauve. Ochre. Wait, Maroon.
Plaid and polkadot.
A different color every day. Always changing...
10. You're most often heard saying:
"Don't hate me because I'm cute." ^_-
"I shall have to hurt you!"
"He's a chicken, I tell you!"
"Whatcha doin', mister-man?"
"The doctor will see you now."
"I am funny to you? Funny to you, how? Am I a clown to you? Am I here to amuse you?! HOW am I funny?!"
11. It's Mime Time...
*uses the mime as a diversion*
*pantomimes 'pretending to care'*
*is the mime. who'd suspect?*
*distracted by the mime*
*hits the mime*
*hits the mime - with a giant mallet*
12. How many roads must a man walk down?
Oh, I love that song!
A lot of them, probably?
Are you insinuating that I am forced to walk, or use public transportation? Is that what you're sayin'?!
Did you say, "crosses the road?"
How many have ya got?
Peter, Paul, and Mary... How quaint.
The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind. Except in New Jersey, where what's blowin' in the wind smells funny.
13. What do you find most annoying?
14. And now, it's time for another Dot's Poetry Corner: Roses are red...
Violets are blue.
That's what they say, but it just isn't true!
Roses are red, and apples are too!
But violets are violet... Violets aren't blue.
An orange is orange.
But Greenland's not green.
A pinky's not pink, so what does it mean?
To call something blue when it's not, we defile it!
But, ahh, what the heck? It's hard to rhyme "violet."
15. You are most motivated by:
Trying to take over the world!
Always trying to be right. Which you are.
The stupidity of others. And, attempting to alleviate it. Painfully, if need be.
Questions like this one.
16. You could most use:
A Little Help From Your Friends.
17. You are:
Wouldn't you like to know?!
18. You are:
All Of The Above.
19. I'm getting a sense of dread as I'm writing this quiz, which is starting to turn out completely all wrong, and it's time that I end it, because it's too looooooooong. And it just doesn't make any sense. Nonsense. This quiz doesn't make any sense!
That makes me feel all kind of warm and squishy. Either that, or I sat in something.
Whoa...dumber than advertised.
I don't know what to say, the monkeys won't do.
I have to get to Carly Simon's house, or I'll never know if that song was about me!
Got to potty! Got to potty!
A Bunsen burner? Everyone knows you throw all your used bunsens in there, and it burns them up into a big pile of ashes, ashes, we all fall down!
20. "They're Ani-mani-, totally insane-y,"
"Come Back, Shane-y..."
"Hunchback of Notre Dame-y..."
"Pinky and the Brain-y..."
"Tarzan and Jane-y..."
"The Rain in Spain-y..."
"Where's Lon Chaney...?"
"Money Down the Drain-y..."
"No Pain, No Gain-y..."
"Chicken Chow Mein-y..."
"Here's the show's name-y:"