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Call girl (don't take it too personal)        Posted by I. J.
7/16/99    1:58 PM

Well, I can sort of relate to what L. G. is writing about female roleplayers. I have been helping prepare one of the largest roleplaying conventions in Denmark these last couple of years and I must admit: each time I get surprised. We've gotten more female players, which is good, but many of them astound me with their...what shall we call it...their 'show' kinda apperance. I don't mind people dressing up, Hell no!...I love dressing up myself - like that time I had to navigate in this three ton Lady Ann costume with corset etc...

What I mean is that I seem to get the impression that female roleplayers often use their sex to manipulate their weak-hearted brothers.

I reckon there are at least three classic groups of female roleplayers (hope I'm not offending anyone here):  The 'geek' or 'nerd' sort of girl, often has a subject she is very much into - in this way she does not differ much from her male counterparts, she might also have a gender-related sort of confusion, not being in harmony with herself.

Then there's the 'sex-kitten'...whatever...These are the people I'm referring to. They often do not show much sign of intellect, which at least people of the last group do. She shows her attributes in very skimpy dresses or chainmail bikinis (oh yes, I've seen that one!) and have an easy time hitting on the poor young men.

And at last we have the 'normal' people. Women who probably are as dead-boring as me!:)...(often girlfriends dragged along by their boyfriends=roleplayers).

I must correct that these are archetypes and many of the women I meet at cons mostly are very much in between, but sometimes I feel I meet these women above all normal behavior, which is probably why it's so fun to go to these places.
What I really wanted to say (lol)was that I miss female ROLEPLAYERS! Not LIVE roleplayers or CARD players...no I want real roleplayers who have charisma, who don't prefer dressing up and therefore choose Live...no, I want those devilish, warm-blooded GM's who wrecks havoc and scares the shit out of those male players. I don't want clueless sluts who never amount to nothing but main characters in gossip stories being passed around afterwards. I want people to show that female roleplayers can and are able to do good roleplaying.

That's why I after these provoking lines want to ask a question: why aren't there many female game masters, keepers or whatever we prefer to call them?
I.
 

re:  call girl        Posted by:  M. B. in response to Call girl (don't take it too personal)
7/16/99    02:26 PM

<<That's why I after these provoking lines want to ask a question: why aren't there many female game masters, keepers or whatever we prefer to call them?>>

In my group of friends I know four people who regularly run games. Two are female, and one of them... well I've never played on of her games because i've heard from others that she doesn't know what she is doing.

I think that you have to spend a huge amount of time rping to be able to run a game. You really have to know everything you can about the system. There are very few girls who spend that much time rping and i think that alot of them don't have the confidence to do it.

Just my two cents...

M.
 
 

Female GMs        Posted by:  A. Y. in response to Call girl (don't take it too personal)
7/16/99    03:10 PM
 
[hides gender, looks innocent]

I've been lurking for a bit, but this one cries out for a response...

I. writes:
>>I seem to get the impression that female roleplayers often use their sex to manipulate their weak-hearted brothers.<<
[Looks at Ring of Lust-Binding +5 on left hand, smiles]
There are always those looking for an edge, and this particular edge is effective with this crowd (see also 'Books, Comic' and 'Fiction, Science'). I treat it the same way as I'd treat food bribes, or offers to wash my car, etc.: 'Thanks - aren't you sweet. Roll your d20 like everyone else.' :)

>>'geek' or 'nerd'
>>the 'sex-kitten'
>>the 'normal' people
...and the interesting ones are the ones who can defy the stereotype. The first can usually be drawn out of his/her shell (that was my story); the third are the ones who, when presented with a game in a neutral, appropriate and articulate setting, will at least give it a chance. They're the ones who know how to pace themselves, get involved when appropriate, and usually make great RPGers over time. (Note that type 1s from above are equally capable of jumping the gap, and make equally good RPGers once encouraged...)

Number 2s... a little goes a long way, and in it's extreme form, it's designed to be a form of distraction, like shouting loudly or any other obnoxious behavior. (Don't get me wrong - costuming and vamping have a time and place, and it's those who have no sense of timing and placement that are the problem.)

Feh. Give me someone who can banter and barb with the best of them - THAT'S who I'd rather spend time with (and I can do that without getting into trouble!...)

>>I want those devilish, warm-blooded GM's who wrecks havoc and scares the shit out of those male players.<<
Oh, I can do THAT with three dice and a smile... >:)

>>I want people to show that female roleplayers can and are able to do good roleplaying.<<
I'll take an average female RPGer over an average male any day of the week. My observation has been that if a female's character (average, not expert player, mind you) gets into trouble, she'll break character or want to slow things down to talk through the situation. The 'average' male RPGer pulls a weapon and rolls for initiative. :)

(Yes, the above could be seen as horribly stereotypical. It's also what I've seen in fifteen years of GMing. Expert players balance out either way, if it helps any...)

>>why aren't there many female game masters?<<
There are less of them in the same way that there are less women in charge of large companies - this has been a majority-male hobby for years, and GMs are those who have played games long enough to feel comfortable administering them. This has improved pretty significantly over the years (and I have very fond memories of a Justice, Inc. campaign run in college by a female friend of mine, lo these many years ago), but numerically, more men, for a longer time, results in more male GMs.

As noted, the trend is up for female GMs, and it's a Very Good Thing for gaming. More inclusive, better odds of the hobby surviving, and I intend to be doing this for years to come...

A. Y.
SJ Games North US MIB RD/Cheapass Games Demo Monkey
 

Untitled        Posted by:  J. K. in response to Call girl (don't take it too personal)
7/16/99    03:11 PM

well, i am a female roleplayer that used to do a little live action, but not that much anymore. i prefer tabletop games, but ive never gm'd, and i can tell you why: fear. i am afraid to gm any game for fear that i would be a bad gm, and i really wouldnt want to do that to people, especially those people that im friends with and game with a lot. i also lack
self-confidence in my ability to be able to handle a diverse set of players. i just dont know if i am able to come up with a
flexable storyline to deal with whatever my players might throw at me. so there are my reasons, witch are rather like stage fright on my part. it is just so much easier to be one character and get into that part than try to play a bunch of characters and control the ongoing action. ps, i suppose i am a mix of the types of women you named: i have certain systems i like, i flirt outrageously with male gamers (although i just dont go in for exploiting my body in skimpy
outfits), and i look rather "normal" and have gone to events with game-oriented boyfriends... so perhaps there are other
women out there like me, that just have a fear of not measuring up to the other (primarily male on my part) gms they have had.
j.


 
Untitled        Posted by:  A. M. in response to Call girl (don't take it too personal)
7/16/99    03:34 PM

Well, a couple of things-- I think there are a lot of female GMs out there. Probably about the same percentage of the female gaming population GMs as of the male. There just aren't as many women to begin with.

I have noticed that some male gamers (not all by any means) of my acquaintance assume that once you start GMing you
can't ever be happy as a mere player again. It becomes a control issue for some people. Also, taking the step to becoming a GM can be a pretty terrifying experience--  All of a sudden, everybody's looking at you and waiting to see what you're
going to do. Running a game is a performance that can definitely provoke stage fright. It's also a lot of work and can really be a drain on your time (unless you're like I am and never really prepare
ahead of time).  I've known people who spent hours planning for each
session they ran.

Something else to consider about the women doing just LARPs or just whatever else-- There are men who are doing the same thing. Some people enjoy multiple forms of gaming; some don't. The women who have a single focus are more noticeable to us because we're hoping that they'll share whatever our interests our so that we can find someone else like us.

I mean, I know that I disappoint some other female gamers because I don't do cards, board games, computer games, etc. I do table top and live action role playing and am not really interested in anything else. I'm phobic of card games, and most computer games give me migraines.

I'm not going to try to address the "types" of female gamers. Maybe later when I'm feeling more courageous, but maybe not.


 
various points        Posted by:  M. W. in response to Call girl (don't take it too personal)
7/16/99    03:35 PM

Well, first off, I do in fact own a great deal of skimpy clothing that I wore back when I LARPed regularly. I am far from a stupid woman, and I have been roleplaying since I was 12. Do you know why I dressed like that for LARP? Several reasons:
1) I enjoyed the chance to feel beautiful and sexy, which I usually do not in my normal life. It actually boosted my self esteem about my appearance a lot that I could dress like that and be found attractive.
2.) As a small female with a quiet voice, I found it difficult to get attention if I dressed normally. All the guys (and many women) were so much taller and they just looked right over me.
3.) For some odd psychological reason, dressing like that made me feel more confident and a lot more able to deal with men hitting on me than when I am dressed more like me - maybe because I feel they are predating on my clothes, and not me. Maybe this will help you understand somewhat.

As far as female GMs, I am one. But once again, it is hard not to get trampled on by aggressive men who feel that a woman GM is easily taken advantage of and intimidated into doing whatever they want. I have been physically threatened by a player when I was a LARP ST for banning him for cheating. It takes a lot of strength and confidence to tell a man trying to intimidate you that the rules are the rules, for everyone.
Just my $.02


 
Re:  skimpy dressing        Posted by:  J. R. in response to various points
7/16/99    04:01 PM

Oooooh, I can't wait to see some female replies to this specific post. This ought to be fun. Let me go ahead and throw out some responses from myself, though, a guy who shares very few personality traits with other men (@10%) and is a pretty emotional person.
1) True beauty and attraction is not skin deep, and I'm sure you know/have been told this. On the other hand, being a person who doesn't view himself as attractive either, I can definately see how the attention would have helped your self-esteem. No matter what you think of yourself on the inside, it still takes a person or two displaying physical interest to even make you being attractive a possibility in your own mind.
2) Need to find smaller fellow gamers! :)
3) _That_ is interesting! Also, people respond to the images we send them, and style of dress is certainly closely related to the image you have. Guys may be thinking of a particular personality when they see that dress, and you may be doing the same thing. ??


 
Re:  Call girl        Posted by:  J. R. in response to Call girl (don't take it too personal)
7/16/99    03:32 PM

I think it also might be worth mentioning that female gamers seem to like their characters a great deal, and take great joy in playing them. In order to GM, you have to give up time (sometimes) playing your character. And you can't play just one character as the GM either, you have to play a group-horde. Besides this and the pure numbers aspect of it A. described, I think the rest of the prob is just your ordinary self-doubt. They won't like the story. I won't do a good job. The rules-lawyers will tear me to pieces. I'll forget plot devices. They'll stump me, catch me unprepared.

As for the 'sex-kitten', I'm like A., only a little worse. If someone wants to devalue themselves, I'm not about to stop them. That's their self-worth problem. Just like the food bribing: I'll eat the cookies you give me, and then you'll save vs. death like everyone else. Thanks for the cookies, they were good. So save your self-esteem and be a good roleplayer, you'll definately get my attention AND the leniancy (sp) that you were looking for much easier.


 
Da'GM        Posted by:  E. G. in response to Call girl (don't take it too personal)
7/16/99    04:35 PM

I grew up with a game room in the house; specifically for ADnD, mind you. I grew up with dice in hand: my parents have been playing since high school and still play to this day. I happen to think my father is one of the best players I've ever seen... but there might be a touch of bias there. Maybe it's that I've yet to find a GM that meets the standards my father gave me, but for the most part, I find male GMs to be, well, not much fun. Almost every one that I've met was focussed exclusively on hack'n'slash, with playing a 15th level Barbarian Warlord off to kill the Great Evil. Which is fine and dandy every once in a while, but it's mightily sickening with repetition. So I GM... I have for several years now. In fact, I designed and ran the ADnD Open for the San Diego Con, a couple years ago. (Credentials placed.:))
Why aren't there more of us? If I were a radical, I'd voice the usual speech about male oppression, how women aren't given the chance, etc. Fortunately, I'm not. :) I think it's simply that until just recently, no one ever considered women capable. Not actively so, but that the thought just never occurred. To anyone. Now that it has, more women will pop up GMing, slowly but surely.
A side note: until now, with the internet to help, there's been a lack of communication. Perhaps female gamers and GMs /have/ been out and about... just not telling each other about themselves.

- ESG


 
Untitled        Posted by:  R. C. in response to Call girl (don't take it too personal)
7/16/99    06:12 PM
Actually, I haven't been that active for quite a while, but when I was, I DM'd and kept players interested for years in games that lasted the whole weekend, every weekend. It was quite a bit of work, before and during--maybe women are lazier than men (but NO ONE could be lazier than me, so that can't be it).

 
Untitled        Posted by:  I. M. in response to Call girl (don't take it too personal)
7/16/99    10:12 PM

As a female gamemaster i have found that I write less hack and slash and more role playing oriented adventures. Unfortunately many male gamers prefer hack and slash to using their brains...

"Daytona"


 
Untitled        Posted by:  U. S. in response to Call girl (don't take it too personal)
7/17/99    01:02 AM

I agree on the three basic archetypes but there is a fourth. I fall into that catagory. The perfectly normal looking heterosexual relatively well adjusted female who metamorphasizes as soon as she picks up the dice into a narrow eyed fanatic. I must confess to being the power-gamer that only other power gamers like to play with. I have gm'd a lot of games and played in more. The most offensive thing anyone can do in a game with me is to talk outside of the realm or act outside their character. I'm a total maniac. I also tend to play male characters. It doesn't take me long to put down any other player who forgets that and talks to me like a "chick". Sadly though, i have found that 4 out of 5 females who come into a game are horrible players. They tend to be someone's girlfriend playing because she's too jealous to let him out of site, or a girly girl interested in one of the guys playing. The good female players are rare.
It looks like most of them are here!!!!
 

In Defense of girlie girls...        Posted by:  C. A. in response to Untitled by U. S.
7/22/99    10:58 AM
I know I'm ending up being redundant, but, be patient with the girlie girls and 'girlfriends-of.' Sometimes, girls who start out that way end up being die-hard gamers... like me at the very least, they distract the horny-male attention from those of us who just want to play.
*grins*

 
GM        Posted by:  [name withheld] in response to Call girl (don't take it too personal)
7/17/99    10:50 AM

Hi!
I must admit that at conventions in Sweden I´ve met the types too. Mostly the 'sex-kittens' just hang around, Ive never seen them actually playing something...  I´m a happy GM myself, I love it afterwards, but everytime before... I want to quit the whole campaign...I got stagefright everytime...(too much ambition I guess). My players say that I´m an evil GM (I got mostly male, only one female player) and they do like the campaign...
I´ve had only one female GM (and I have played quite a lot) but she was very good.
Well I think that most of the girls just don´t show up on conventions and don´t join gamingclubs, they just enjoy themselves with some close friends and are happy with that. I have met several (and know several females) that is like that. I guess that it´s more of a boy-thing to go to conventions and joining gaming-clubs?
/One exception from the theory


 
Untitled        Posted by:  C. A. in response to Call girl (don't take it too personal)
7/19/99    12:45 PM

In response to I. J.'s question:  In defense of girl gamers, clothes-horses, Live-RP'ers, and girls who go to game to flirt:

I've been all of the above.  Hell, I started going to Live-Action games because I wanted to meet guys and
I continued going because I liked the socialization.  Now, I play because I like to role-play. I've run and helped run games and I play twice a week, minimum, in long-running
chronicles.  I'm primarily a LARP'er, not a tabletopper, though I
do both.

Now, I'm not sure exactly what type of woman you're looking for in your games. I'd rather have 6 sex kittens in one of my games than one "I'm only here cause my boyfriend's here and you're all so very silly" type - of which we usually have at least two. The sex kittens around here at least  <b>try</b> to role-play.

As for the "poor men--" I’ve always been of the opinion that, if they can't stay in character and remember that, for example, they're playing a vampire who's been around for 500 years and sees pretty girls as food and can't even
remember what an erection felt like... then they deserve what they get. Some guys come to games to meet girls, too, as silly as that usually seems…  and what’s wrong with that?

After all, aren’t we playing to have fun?
-L-

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