fear        Posted by:  I. J.
7/20/99    05:28 PM

Hi people!
I was happily surprised to see all the new responses to my entry upon the subject of female gm's and archetypes. Of course my letter was somewhat blunt and had I expected many 'you are so very wrong'-s.

But something really caught my attention: J. K.'s reply.  - 'Why I don't GM?' -'Fear'

My conclusion:

1.)  Women are a lot more sensitive regarding making other people (their guests) feel welcome, comfortable and happy. Perhaps this is simply etched into our minds from early childhood.This sensitivity shows itself in gamemastering by lack of self esteem. They often get very sad if the scenario turns out bad are simply afraid that they can't live up to their players expectations!

2.)  Women are not funny!...well, some people insist and it sounds rather stupid, but if we take a deeper look we may see that women in general aren't that well equipped in the areas of 'humor'. Humor is often defined as making fun of yourself...the trick is to make yourself look a little stupid, but in such a way that the others laugh with you and not at you. Those comedians who only make fun of the weak and those who can't fight back usually aren't particularly funny.  Women are raised as to look at themselves as 'gentle' creatures:  We aren't allowed to fart, spit...even urinate in a loud fashion. General appreciation of bodily functions are non-existing. When a man makes fun of himself with these obvious traits he's funny...a woman, she's disgusting.  Ok. I could continue with several other examples, but I hope you got the picture with the word 'gentle'...'a woman should not degrade herself by acting like a clown'. (try replacing Adam Sandler with Julia Roberts in for example Waterboy...would it work?)

Alas, we are not raised in a manner, which gives us a natural 'go' for the thing our society calls humor.

Men like being entertained (look at them watching football:))  When they roleplay (ahhh, at last the point is being revealed) they often like being entertained also.  Women often like the drama, the intrigue, the emotions (although I also prefer a good action game once in a while), but take a look at the males..they still want to be entertained.  Entertainment is often equal with fun=humor (the male world is pretty simple regarding this area,lol).

Therfore:  A female gm (who often has many male player because of the general lack of female players) will have to train her humorous abilities etc. as not to get the men trapped in boredom.  She will really have to struggle in this area.

3.)You're on your own as a gm, women are often scared of this radical isolation - if you can't think fast or know your books very well...you're history.

4.)  It's often more difficult to make a good intrigue/drama scenario than a standard simple action scenario.  Women tend to like the more complicated personal stuff and often wind up making it harder on themselves when starting out at the beginning. (I did that one a lot)

Dear friends,
These were some of the problems I encountered myself when becoming a gm. I started as a gm out of necessity - no one else wanted to. Sadly I've now ended in a situation where it's difficult for me even to gather players.  Being a gm has its advantages and its draw-backs. You need to give up hiding and start acting full-time, butinstead of just one character, you get to make up several...you get to create setting, scene...you get to be 'god' (no offence 'GOD' (TM))

I remember that one of the things I really missed when I started was other female gm's.  I simply had no one to talk to, no one backing me up.  I don't think we should turn ourselves into macho gm's (we have men for that), but I believe that we should understand that women are fragile in some really natural and beautiful way and that we are capable of such wonders of art (including roleplaying) when we have finally crossed that hurdle. We shouldn't deny ourselves the help that communication grants us.
Inge
 
 

Untitled        Posted by:  nicoLe is breathing in response to fear
7/20/99    07:19 PM

well, maybe i'm atypical, but this sounds all wrong.

[- 'Why I don't GM?' -'Fear']

and why don't i gm? (like most male players) i preferplaying! and actually, i usually do end up gm'ing.. i'm better at it than the guys we've had available.

[Women are a lot more sensitive regarding making other people (their guests)feel welcome, comfortable and happy.]

well then, guess we just have to work harder. nothing wrong with that.

[lack of self esteem.]

uhmm... never been one of my problems.

[Women are not funny!]

bull. to be completely concieted, i'm plenty funny. and entertaining enough to usually keep the game going at a nice pace.  my favorite was when i had the biggest macho guy in one of our groups cursed when he decided to do something he was told not to by an npc... he ended up becoming female...permanently. got great laughs from the other players and encouraged him to buff up on his roleplaying skills.

[Women are raised as to look at themselves as 'gentle'creatures]

speaking as a woman from a matriarchal family: really?  i was raised to believe that women are strong and self-sufficient. we aren't living in the 1950s anymore.

[We aren't allowed to fart, spit...even urinate in a loud fashion.]

who in the hell finds that funny?

[(try replacing Adam Sandler with Julia Roberts in for example Waterboy...would it work?)]

ok, maybe i'm in the minority here, but is adam sandler really that funny?mand well, why do all women have to be a julia roberts... think of me more as anjelina jolie... in attitude anyway ;}

[women are often scared of this radical isolation]

yeh, and a lot of women just prefer to be in the thick of the action.

[if you can't think fast or know your books very well...you're history.]

and this is a solely female problem?!

[It's often more difficult to make a good intrigue/drama scenario than a standard simple action scenario.]

and a good gm, male or female, will know how to work both into a campaign. perhaps this will take a little effort, but if you are committing yourself to running the game you should put a little effort into it.

and if the guys you are playing with can't handle a game that's more than hack and slash, then perhaps you need to find a new group to game with.

[I don't think we should turn ourselves into macho gm's (we have men for that)]

most of the men i have had gm games for me were not "macho" but rather very intriguing and skillful... (one of them was excessively macho, but i decided to leave his campaign eventually... another was too damned wimpy and we never did -[anything]- i also left his campaign). but generally, i have had great GMs. and i do believe the skill had little to do with gender and more to do with experience and creativity.

[but I believe that we should understand that women are fragile]

and i think that's the problem here. -[everyone]- is fragile to an extent.  i know men who crumble easier than i do. so what. it is a personal issue, in my opinion, not a gender issue.

get over this weaker gender thing. we're not weaker, we're not stronger.  it all depends on the individual. if you can't hack it at GMing, please don't blame it on which set of genitalia you ended up with.

*snowflakes*
--nicoLe always has to be the DM cuz no one else is good enough (trust me, they've tried).
 

Counterexample        Posted by:  R. C. in response to fear
7/20/99    11:03 PM
 
think you're pretty much correct, Inge. I enjoyed reading your post.

I guess I must have a female psyche or something. Your description of the 'typical female GM' as being more interested in complexity, emotion, intrigue as opposed to simple action is me.

For example, I just started a major Star Wars campaign, using the TORG rules system (can't be beat!). My players were expecting an epic action saga against a backdrop of stars. Nope. The setting is ONE planet, a quiet, relatively peaceful backwater. I have a stable of about four HUNDRED fully-detailed NPCs, locals and offworlders, and an astoundingly complex flowchart system for keeping track of all their inter-relationships - the feuds, friendships, rivalries, romances, schemes, and suchlike madness. My players, all male, have been blown away by how much they're enjoying it. Naturally, there's plenty of action (imagine a Hong Kong gunplay/martial arts flick with blasters), but sometimes two or three ten-hour sessions roll past without a violent moment.

Now, by contrast, my buddy A. is just about to start running a Call of Cthulhu game. She has a straightforward pulp-adventure plot in mind, kind of Indy Jones/The Mummy stuff. Normally she runs 'fluffy' WoD: Changeling/Mage, really silly games.

She's already told me she feels intimidated by me. She's GMed twice in five years of gaming. I have been doing this for twenty-one years, and have made a second career of pushing myself to develop a craft. So no wonder. A., like many of my friends, are scared to GM, feeling they have to somehow 'live up' to 'godlike' standards. It's a pain in the ass. I'd like to relax and play!

R. C., floating around 6D somewhere, suggested approaching female psych students and high schools, offering RPGs as some kind of training aid or something, to get more young women interested. I don't know. Thoughts anyone?
 

Handing Out RPGs        Posted by:  E. G. in response to Counterexample
7/21/99    05:27 PM

Unfortunately, passing out RPGs, even as a training tool, isn't likely to work. Most people (men /and/ women) simply don't 'get' RPGS. 'How do you win?' 'You don't win, you play.' 'But isn't there an end, how do you win?' 'Noooo, you don't /win/, you just /play/.' 'But... but... it's not a game if you don't win...' And so on, and so forth.
The best luck I've had explaining an RPG is to say it's a relation to improv-theatre... everyone has a character to play out, with one person running the rest of the world. And even that doesn't do the job. For that matter, do we really want all that many more people involved? Right now in the gaming community at large, you become a gamer if you're a) interested or b) associated with someone interested. Imagine the sheer horror of RPGs going main-stream, which admittedly is taking it to the extreme, but the possibility exists. Maybe I'm an elitist, but I prefer my hobby-of-choice to stay in the hands of those people who genuinely enjoy it enough to make it their hobby as well.

- ESG

Hi. I thought bringin people in was an interesting challenge to get my mind around. It's not a spectator sport hence it doesn't attract new players that way in my experience.        Posted by:  R. C. in response to Handing Out RPGs
7/22/99    01:20 AM

:O) .

Actually, I was not suggesting passing out RPGs--we were just discussing what might be the most likely female groups for recruiting new players. I think that early teens are as likely for females as males. Next I suggested that those who work with early teens (females) may find merit in the idea of role playing as a way to interact with aforesaid, hence may be more willing to try it out (and get hooked) than other groups. ie female psych students planning on working with early teens.

I found your description entertaining , thank you. :O)

Untitled        Posted by:  D. B. in response to fear
7/22/99    11:25 AM

I've been very interested in the recent talk about the problems we may encounter in running games. I've been playing (mostly WW games, but some ShadowRun & Cthulhu) for a few years, and am considering running a game later this fall. The reasons being: 1) there are some novice players around (especially girls) who are having a hard time getting into the "big name" guy-run games in our area (I have an inroad b/c most of the gm's are my friends) and 2) I think it's a part of gaming that I'm ready to give a try ... need to grow.

But, as always, there's the fear question. I've already decided to limit my game to the novice-type players... I've found several women locally who haven't had much chance to play, but would really like to try more ... There's a possibility that the group might even be all-female (which would be as rare in my area as albino buffalo in downtown Chicago). If that's the case, I'm excited to see how the game might develop differently from the all-male-except-me games I've been a part of so often. But I don't want it to be thought of as "the girls' game" ... :P AGH.

Anyway, my real dilemma is less being-a-chick-related, and more which-game related ... the predominant game in the area is Vampire. It's the one that I can get EASY access to all the books etc. for, and my husband (notable GM) claims is easier for new players to pick up on. On the other hand, I'm more interested in Changeling. I've played it a few times, and really enjoy the idea ... the only problems there being that new players might feel weird about constantly making up new cantrips, that I only have the main book & 2 kith books, and that only one other person has run it locally -- and not successfully (experienced GM)... Any suggestions/advice, anyone?

Go fo it        Posted by:  I. E. in response to Untitled by D. B.
11/17/99    09:46 PM

I think that you'll have more success doing what you are more interested in, if only because you will be more drawn in an excited and that will communicate itself to the players. Also, Changeling might be a less threatening entry into role playing for your players than Vampire (unless they are really into horror). A friend on mine (experienced GM) ran a very wonderful changling campaign with just the main rule book, and he felt free to modify it at will--an approach I suggest to you. If you find the cantrips are way to much of a hassle, skip em. if you like them, and think they add to the atmosphere of the game, keep them in. It's up to you, you are the GM/she who runs the game.

Personally, I have always felt that Charles DeLint's Urban Fantasy best capture what Changling should be. reading some of that might be a good way for you and your players to get into it.

Good luck!

Untitled        Posted by:  P. S. in response to fear
7/27/99    10:17 AM

About women as GM's...true in say, D&D, or GURPS, it's harder for a woman to be the game master. I have found that for those who like the politics and intrigues there are games that we do as well if not better with our creative imaginations as the GM. Vampire The Masq. is an excellent one for those who like the political intrigues. I Live Action Role Play in a sanctioned Camarilla LARP in Pittsburgh. I find it fun and stimulating as well as a chance to act out as someone other than myself...There are rules for safety of course as there should be in anything of this nature. However, I am slightly disturbed that while we seem from time to time to have a higher per capita of female players....we have no female story tellers. Personally, I am hoping to learn the game and mechanics well enough that I may become not just an ST, but perhaps maybe even the Chapter ST. If you are in or around the Pittsburgh area and wish to check out the game I have mentioned. Email me at meighanoflannery@goplay.com. I will send you back what the schedule of games and info on where they are.
P.

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